all they have to do is sit down and talk about trust problem like me i dont have trust in my boyfriend becoz i did something wrong in past and thought he would do it back. i decide my confidence needs soting so im going for hypnosist.
so do u believe u dont have to finish with partner if theres no trust?
2006-09-15 04:40:17 · 47 answers · asked by kim in guildford 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Depends if you really love him, if thats the case trust can be built again meaning you will have to be trustworthy aswell. Or if you dont think you can be faithfull and you're fine with the no trust thing thats up to you, personally I would need trust. x Gd luck x
2006-09-15 04:43:47 · answer #1 · answered by BaybiiBlondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends, If i had never put my trust in a partner then it would not be an issue, it wouldn't mean we could not have a relationship it would just be on a different level, no having paddys every time he went out or thinking he was having an affair just more freedom i suppose. I think it is an issue when the trust GOES because one or both partners has done something to destroy it. At the end of the day it is what works for the pair of you that is important trust or not.
2006-09-15 04:54:46 · answer #2 · answered by jojitsui 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you were bad to him, it doesn't mean he will be bad to you. He may be a better person than you, and you'll have to either live with that, or move on and be with a b****d who likes to play games with people.
I agree that seeing a hypnotist is a waste of time - what are they going to do for you? It would be time better spent either talking to your boyfriend about how you can't forgive yourself for what you did, and believe his answer when he says he forgives you. Then try to let it go. You can't blame him for your mistakes.
It's not about confidence. You can be the most confident person in the world and still be wary of people. I think it's more about your self-esteem and opinion of yourself, and you thinking that everyone must think badly of you. Perhaps you expect bad behaviour from other people because something happened to you in the past - maybe someone treated you badly and you've never recovered? Going to a counsellor, or even talking about the incident with a close friend might help you overcome the issue.
I think the issue here isn't so much about trust, but about you projecting your "badness" (for want of a better word, sorry!) onto your bloke.
I think if your partner lies over and over again, cheats and so on, then that is a breach of trust, and so yes, in those circumstances you should end it. But your situation doesn't sound anything like that, so I don't think trust has much to do with it, apart from you trusting yourself.
I wish you and your boyf lots of happiness together. Use the money you'll save on a hypnotist to go out on a date somewhere nice, just the two of you!
2006-09-15 04:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot have a relationship without trust but you can get trust back - with love and talking the problem through. Your lack of trust is slightly different as you are the one who did something wrong and are judging others on your own actions - your trust hasn't broken down because of your partners actions. As you say it was in the past - don't let the past spoil what you have now. Keep talking and if therapy helps - give it a go. Good luck.
2006-09-15 04:53:22 · answer #4 · answered by scribbleri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are the one who broke the trust, why are you having a hard time trusting your boyfriend? just because you did something wrong in the past doesn't mean that he is the type of person who will do the same for retaliation. you have issues that need psychiatric help, not a hypnotist.
I happen to believe that without trust you have no basis for a relationship. maybe, over time, could learn to trust a person again, but how long is long enough, before you either trust them or you give up?
2006-09-15 07:33:12 · answer #5 · answered by Plain_Common_Sense 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could be wrong. sitting down and talking about it always sounds like the nice thing to do and doesn't require breaking up, so both parties are all for it..BUT...this does not work in most cases, its just a delay. I'd say if you were married it would be different because you want to do everything possible to avoid divorce..but trust issues are probably the number 1 factor in non functioning relationships..when times get rough trust issues always show up. I've been through it ..to the point where I was super stressed out.. good luck though..I'm not tryin to be negative ..just realistic..
2006-09-15 04:55:58 · answer #6 · answered by roy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it can work, as long as both parties are willing to put up with the bickering that is created from a trustless relationship. For the one that is not trusted, they will deal with scrutiny of every second of every minute of every day. They will resent this and begin to harbor anger toward their spouse. For the spouse that distrusts, they will worry all day about what might be going on behind their back. They will become angered if you are 5 minutes late getting home. They will become such an uptight person who is paranoid that their spouse is out to get them. Everything will revolve around the trustless spouse needing proof for the simplest of truths. So yes, this relationship can work, but if no one is willing to change, it will end. See, in order for a person to gain trust back, they must be allowed the opportunity to gain that trust. And rarely are they given those opportunities because they can't be trusted in the eyes of their spouse. So both people must change and work hard, but usually it's too late. Too many hurtful words and too much anger.
2006-09-15 05:23:53 · answer #7 · answered by zero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can sit and talk all you want and if there is no trust he can listen but will he actually believe what you're saying.
By what you're saying you're proving that without trust there is nothing. You are so expecting him to do something back to you (lack of trust in him) that you are going to a hypnotist to instill trust in you (trust that is not even there) so how can a hypnotist help. I don't know, but it's all up to what you think will work for you, but i agree no trust no relationship.
2006-09-15 04:55:34 · answer #8 · answered by solgiver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is a really important part of a relationship, if you don't have that then having one is very difficult although not impossible, and both partners have to work hard together to get past mistrust issues, if you yourself have the issues and are projecting them on to your partner then getting help is a wise move and not just for your relationship now but for all the relationships you ll ever have,
its gonna be a long hard road but as long as your honest with each other then you can pretty much work anything out!
2006-09-15 04:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey if you don't trust him there is no point in staying with him. if you think he will do something back for revenge, then maybe you should take a break to decide if you do have trust in each other. the hypnotist is a silly idea okay, try talking to some people you do trust to help you and maybe you two can try couples counselling
2006-09-15 04:44:00 · answer #10 · answered by latinsmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋