I am a 31 year old guy, and I have been single for the most part of my life, I love being with friends and family when I can, and the few times I have tried a relationship, like 3 (the other ones weren't) they didn't work, and the last one was awesome but the person I was dating was just impossible to understand or who knows the issues she had. If I don't EVER get married, am I going to regret it?, does it worth the investment or the risk?. I am not like the other guys that needs a woman, I was happy with my exgirlfriend, then she started with moods impossible to understand (by any human being) we split, things went horrible, I suffered a lot, for nothing!. Any person that is also single and happy and that hasn't regret of never get married?
2006-09-15 03:54:56 · 9 answers · asked by livingthe30s 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, get it out of your head that there are guarantees to happiness. You can walk out the house on the way to work and get killed, getting hit by a car, because some guy sneezed behind the wheel.
Second. It's up to you to get the happiness your looking for. If there are things you feel you need to change, make it happen.
Be a MAN.
Stop complaining and step up. Don't let situations like this emasculate you, in other words STOP PUNKING YOURSELF!
Find the time to develop yourself to be strong. What else are your options? Sure, you'd like to be open and trusting, but there's a point in which you have to make a decision to be in charge,
Trust your instincts, learn from the past, and move on. Changes are not that difficult and at times it comes at a price, but wouldn't that be worth more of your time than to let things outside your life do it for you? C'mon dude. Don't let things make you drop your pants and bend you over. For you to seek your happiness and not based on what people think you should do, you have to take charge.
Don't wimp out. Women don't admit it, but they love men who are focused. As much as they say they want a man to be soft and caring, what they really want is a man who knows what HE wants.
Good luck.
2006-09-15 03:56:38 · answer #1 · answered by monkeymustard 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I am not single, but I have a good friend who is 35 and she is completely happy being single. There is no law out there that says you HAVE to be married. Marriage does not necessarily = happiness. If you don't think you'll be missing out on anything, and you are happy being single, then what is there to regret??? On the other hand, maybe you just need a break from the dating life too. I know people who are in their 40's and just getting married for the first time. Maybe its possible you haven't met the right person. In any case, if you are totally completely happy and would never regret getting married or having children or anything that goes along with it, then don't. But honestly, if you are asking, I think you might have some regret in not doing so. Just sit back and relax and let things go by one day at a time and you'll figure it all out. Life has a funny way of working itself out like that.
2006-09-15 11:02:28 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to get married to be happy. Hell, you don't even need to date or "go steady" to be happy. There are many people out there who have never gotten married and are happy. Some never do it, some have and had a spouse die and have never remarried. Happiness is what you make of it. If you are in love with the idea of "being in love" then you will never be happy. I was married for 8 years, and to be honest I was only happy after we decided to get divorced. Not all marriages are going to last. Before you get married make sure you want to grow old with that person. If you can't see yourself sitting on a porch swing, watching the sunset with this person when you're 80, you won't be happy. My girlfriend and I can see this happening, so eventually we will get married. Remember the song "You can't hurry love"? Be patient! Good Luck!
2006-09-15 11:02:07 · answer #3 · answered by denverbroncos1973 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't really about getting married or not, it is about what will make you happy. You could marry the wrong girl and pay for the rest of your life, or you could marry the right girl and live happily ever after. I wouldn't worry about " the need to get married" I would worry about being happy. When the time is right and the person is right, I don't think making the decision would be difficult. So far, neither was right .
2006-09-15 11:01:10 · answer #4 · answered by heaven o 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are never any guarantees in life. We go from relationship to relationship learning and experiencing different aspects of life. We learn to love, trust not only others but ourselves as well.
We all go through messy relationships, but they build a foundation we use to find the next potential companion. Eventually, we have the confidence to take the risk.
Marriage is not for everyone, it is a lot of work, a lot of compromise, tongue-biting, laughing, loving, temper tantrums, accceptance of quirks.
I know several people who have never married and are very satisfied and content. Marriage is not the be-all and end-all to ensuring happiness.
2006-09-15 11:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people are crumbs until they reach their mid thirtees. They play games like crazy, lie, cheat, etc. Some never change. As they mature, some realize people are dying in their families, their relationships haven't worked, they get sick of the bars, the people they used to pick up think they are too old, their jobs suck.
Many then start to consider marriage, if for no other reason than they see themselves either losing hair, developing gray and wrinkles, getting fired, feeling unsatisfied at work, etc.
The divorce rate is over 50 percent failure in the USA for first time marriages, over seventy percent failure rate for second time marriages.
Want the right people to show up? Well then: You MUST develop yourself to the fullest, define what makes you tick and passionate, and you must become extremely successful in your career and interests. The, the RIGHT people show up.
Bars bring on alcoholic irresponsible jerks from both sexes. Clubs too. A great dancer and the right lines do not mean love and successful marriages. Do not mix up great sex with love either. They are two distinct and separate entities. Sex is to reproduce the species only. It is not love. Love is something else. Sex can improve with real love and intimacy. If you are in lust, it is not love. If someone is bad to you, you do not want sex with them unless you are delusional and are using them too, or if you mistakingly think that a great orgasm will make them stay or change.
Honestly with respect. And it goes both ways. This is what is needed for a successful bonding between two people.
Do you go for glitz and the great dressers? Stop. Are you a caretaker type who rescues? Stop that now. If you are a perfectionist who emotionally picks on a partner, stop it now. If you always criticize a partner for small things andthat partner leaves you, stop it now. It takes two to tango.
Forget the multitude of books. They will mostly confuse you except the short Robert Johnson trio of books. He, She and We.
I have learned about boundaries. There is a great book on the subject called Boundaries. It is a thick non-religious book on the subject, a soft cover, /Ph DO written. Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No is another great book.
Do numerous workshops, read lots of self help books, do The Landmark Education Corporation weekend of self discovery called The Forum, etc.. Reading great books is therapy, because we learn about our own weaknesses and learn self improvement. I have learned it is not what we do but rather, who we do it with. Stay away from destructive people, and that might sometimes mean family.
Never believe what people say: Only judge people on their actions and deeds. YOU want a partner who can walk equally with you, one who asks for advice, one who doesn't bottle up anger, and that goes both ways. Also, if you are selfish and materialistic, cut that out. No one wants a gold digger. Make something of yourself to get your own cash.
Also remember: no one is perfect.
2006-09-15 11:05:57 · answer #6 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you'e perfectly fine as you are, and thats great- it ensures you're happy with whatever outcome. Enjoy your single life. If you do end up married, it will be because you found someone amazing enough that she improves on your already happy life... it's a win/win.
2006-09-15 11:03:38 · answer #7 · answered by - 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nowadays, decide your friends circle and romance love by yourself!
http://friendscircle.homestead.com/index.htm
http://meetingfriends.homestead.com/index.ht
2006-09-18 05:24:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-09-15 10:59:37 · answer #9 · answered by antonio 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋