What can a parent do about this?

Question

A young girl in my boy's kindergarden class habitually singles out my son and another young man to pick on. Each morning when I take him to class, the class is all lined up outside the door waiting for the teacher to arrive, and sitting on the right side of the door. This little priss box finds it necessary to tell my boy and the other young man that they have to sit alone on the left side, by themselves.

There is a basket of books outside the class for the kids to pick up and read/look at while they wait. Every book my son or the other boy selects, the girl has to get up and object to them having. Today's excuse was the books they picked was for girls. Yesterday, they couldn't have any books because "she said so".

Obviously, I'm not going to talk to this little girl. It's not my place, plus I know I'll say something that'll make her cry. So, I've spoken to the teacher. It has not helped. It's worse IN the class when I am not present, and my son tells me. What to do?

Katz...your guess is as good as mine. The kids get tardy slips if they are in after 7:30, but the teacher is NEVER there until about 7:40. Go figure.

Answer 1

If you give a man a fish, you've fed him for a day. Teach him to fish, and you've fed him for the rest of his life.

I am 100% against going to the principal or anyone else at this stage. You cannot go about life solving all of your child's problems, so it is your responsibility to teach him how to solve them himself. In this case, your son just needs to know that the little brat isn't isn't his boss. He can tell her no, he can ignore her, or whatever as long as he isn't rude or violent. He needs to know that momma will not always be there, and he has to learn to stick up for himself.

Answer 2

If you have spoken to the teacher about the problem and nothing has changed, request a conference with her. Stress to her how serious you are about the matter and that is affecting your child in his learning environment. Explain to her that you want her to address the problem and if things do not get better you have no choice but to contact the principal. Give her time to handle the problem (maybe a week). If not any better, then request a conference with the principal. Express your concerns there and give ample time for a response. You may even consider requesting that your child be transferred to another classroom. If that doesn't solve the problem, then contact the school Superintendent. Through this process, you may want to contact the parent of the other "victim" child and partner up in addressing the issue. Together, the two of you may be more of a driving force to reach a resolution for the teacher, principal, and superintendent.

Whatever you do, you must not just ignore the situation. Your child should not have to suffer and be in a negative environment when attempting to build his foundation for the future.

Answer 3

While it is the teacher's responsibility to make sure no one is getting bullied in her class, you can imagine how difficult it would be to see everything that goes on. Just as it is worse when you are not around, it may be worse when she isn't around. You could go to the principal, but you should also talk to your son. Kids are always going to be cruel, but thank goodness that your son isn't the one bullying the others. This obviously bothers your son because he has talked to you about it. Maybe you should try to make him understand that the peers in his class are not in charge. He only HAS to do what the teacher says, anything else doens't matter. Most bullies do things to get a reaction from the victom, if your son ignores what she says and continiues doing what he pleases, I think she'll eventually stop.

Good luck!

Answer 4

You've spoken with the teacher, now it's time to take it to the principal/vice principal as nothing has occured to change the behavior. Most schools have a "no-bullying" policy now. Request a parent teacher meeting and explain what you are seeing, who is involved, and write down a list of days/times it happens to provide some substantiation to your claim. Note anything your son tells you at the end of the day about what happened in class.

Answer 5

Well while I dont advocate fighting I do advocate my kids sticking up for themselves.
My son got into a fight last year, a boy had been picking on him for days ( I confirmed this with the school bus driver and a bus aide for the week). He had avoided this boy on the bus by not sitting near him and if the boy sat near him he moved.
However on this particlular day when my son moved away the boy picked up a school book and hit my son in the back of the head, and my son turned around and hit him in the jaw with his fist. The principle was gonna expel my son who was gonna have to re atek his Jr year because he wasnt going to be allowed back to the school fo end of the year testing. I convinced the principle to expel the boy who started the fight as this young man had a record for starting fights and allow my son to come to school just for testing at which point I would pick him up once the days testing was done.

I told the principle that while I didnt advocate my kids starting fight and fighting in general I did expect them to take up for themselves. I expected them not to throw the first punch, but I expected them to hit back when someone struck them, to protect themselves.

Do what you can without it comig to harsh words if at all possible. Teach your son to take up for himself, with words if at all possible, teach him he is no one's doormat.
Talk to the principle. the school board, the teachers, school counselors, and if you have to the other child's mother.

Answer 6

In the grand scheme of things, is this really an important issue?

Is your son actually upset about this, is it affecting his behaviour, if so in what way? Do you really think it is causing him psychological damage, or is it just part of life that he can learn to ignore, laugh at, turn his back on?

To me, it does not sound like something you need to be worried about. Let your son know that he is the only one who can control how he reacts to things like this; teach him that he can just ignore her and she will probably stop once she notices that no-one cares if she acts that way.

Answer 7

This sounds like she is a big bully of the class! and your son is much disturbed by her way of behaviour.

Teach your kid that he has to stand up for what he thinks is right.
If he learns now to stand up for himself ,he will do the same in the future as well! and bullies are present in all walks of our lifes.

The best thing that you could now do is Ask your son to stand up and say NO to what ever that girl says.
Practice a lil play with your son, and teach him how to react to this kind of situation.

Remember...dont make him get violent in his actions....but show him how he can be the BOSS verbally.

Answer 8

It's hard to tell a kindergardener to ignore the little girl, but that's basically what he has to do. If you teach him skills now it will really go a long way in helping him through middle school, high school and life.

Answer 9

The best thing is to equip your son with better tools to deal with the situation, not try to change the girl's behavior. Practice what your son will say/do when the girl tries to boss. Consider standing up to her. The key is not in trying to get the other kid to change but getting your kid to deal with the situation differently.

Answer 10

If the teacher has done nothing, talk to the principal or school coucnelor. Her behavior is unacceptable. If no one else helps, remind your son to stick up for himself and when she says he sit on the otherside of the door have him say "no" and sit where he wants. Its as simple as that.