I live with his family and we have his relatives coming to visit every other weekend. Whenever this happens any plans we have immediately go out of the window to accomodate his relatives. This has been going on for a while now and it is really bothering me. I dont want to come across as jealous and possessive though but i need to explain to him that this is really irratating me.
2006-09-15 03:37:16 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
we live with his parents, its his other relatives that come over that are the problem.
2006-09-15 03:48:04 · update #1
Tell him. if you dont then his will continue and you'll be unhappy. This is a marriage between the both of you, not with his family. He needs to put you first now, your are not being selfish for wanting your hisband to keep his promise.
2006-09-15 03:40:03 · answer #1 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean, i moved in with my boyfriends parents when we finished uni three months as we have no money. The relatives visit all the time and yet we still get told we have to vistt them in the week as well. (there all really close). I hate it cos we never spend any quality time together as doing the washing up side by side doesn't count. My advice is tell him how you feel and chances are he's been feeling the same way, if not. Then do you want to be with this person if his family always comes first. After all if you don't sort it out now what happens when you get a house of your own and they drop in every five Min's.
2006-09-15 10:47:11 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your stuck in the middle,if you stand your ground and say you already have plans it could cause tension but if you carry on going along with this you`ll end up more and more unhappy.Try planning well ahead and when his parents say they will be having visitors round then apologise and explain that you already have plans that you can`t get out of.Whatever they say don`t let them back you into a corner or change your mind.At some point in the future you`ll have your own place so keep smiling and dreaming of your own place and space together.......Good luck.
2006-09-15 11:21:20 · answer #3 · answered by sarah y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't see him having any influence over who comes to stay with it being his parents house. What you can say is that you feel second best and you need some alone time with him and it shouldn't be affected just because his family come over.
Or put it to him like this. You have a problem, he can solve it. You're not happy and that means your marriage is in trouble because eventually your frustration will get the better of you and it will turn ugly. Does he want your marriage to last or is it not important to him?
I don't know why you live with his parents, it could be for various reasons but i hope it's not a permanent one because that itself could become another major problem
2006-09-15 10:55:37 · answer #4 · answered by mother knowledge 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that you need time away from the relatives and you should make him understand that you two are important,. relatives can come over any other time then on the weekends when its your time~`
2006-09-15 10:44:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to come straight out and tell him how bad this bothers you, otherwise, he will never catch on. He may pick up on your bad moods and irritation but he will not be able to link it to the problem. Men just are not gifted in that way.
2006-09-15 10:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by heaven o 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why don't you just carry on with ur plans and leave him with his parents. get back and make out you had a fantastic time , whilst he was stuck there sipping on cups of tea with his folks, he'll soon come round.
or you could slip the subject in next time he announces his parents are coming around, just say you really want to go to such n such a place (basically make him promise to go next week) and then hold him to it.
2006-09-15 10:43:16 · answer #7 · answered by jmather62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you don't like the situation, move out. This isn't your house, you are living with HIS family. Which means this isn't about your wishes, you're already inconveniencing them. If you want a right to speak up, get your own place. Until then, learn to deal with it.
2006-09-15 10:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just the two of you get out of the house, go for a nice meal and just tell him how you are feeling, if there is no other family around then he has no choice but to listen to you, just be honest with him, good luck
2006-09-15 12:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by bluebell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Subtle hints don't seem to work on some of us guys, you may have to set some time aside, sit him down, and explain how important having "your own lives" is to him.
2006-09-15 10:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by Dr. Feelgood 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋