I am 27 and my bfr. is 46, he also has three children from his previous marriage.
I lived with him for over a year, and this cohabiting situation is bothering me.
I don't want to marry him, I don't think he is right for me. However, the fact that he is not offering to commit is bothering me.
I would never push him into that, cuz it wouldn't worth nothing. He has to come to it by himself.
Anyway I just want to know his reasons but I can't ask him directly.
Any suggestions on my situation???
Additional Details
6 minutes ago
I've am divorced, have 6 yr.old, and my bfr. takes good care of me and my child.
I am attending school right now, and don't want to break up yet.
I find the comment about father figure interesting, cuz my dad was basicly ignoring me, though my mother was overprotective. And that's true that I am more drown to responsible, level-headed older man , the total opposite of my ex husband.
2006-09-15 03:33:38 · 9 answers · asked by Mistyfog 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that the fact that you want him to SAY a commitment to you, but you don't really want one because you know he isn't the one for you is kind of selfish. You are basically the same way that he is. How can you be so sure that you don't give off the vibes that you don't really want a serious serious relationship with him, and that's keeping him from saying anything. I think that the fact that he's taking care of you and your son and you feel this way, is rather selfish and it sounds kind of like you're prostituting yourself out in a way for food, shelter and the same for your child. I think that because of what you said about how you can't leave right now because he's taking care of you. I'd say , if he doesn't want to commit, you should be happy he is staying with you anyways. Maybe he's feeling a little used, because I think I would if I were him. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I just think you aren't looking at his position very much and just concentrating on what you want to hear from him to maybe boost your ego.
2006-09-15 03:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by t.larae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, wake the F%$K up, there can only be a few reasons as to why your still with this man, even though you know you do not want marry him and know he's not RIGHT for you. Either he taking care of you and/or if you left , you would be worse off than being there with him (financailly). When will people learn you cant chage anyone, if he aint commit to you by now chancews are he never will and your just wasting time hoping he will. you have to ask yourself why he is not. And ill tell you why, why would he buy the cow when he already gets the milk for free.
Also you contradicting yourself , how we let me break it down for you. In one breathe you state that you dont wanna marry him and you know hes not the right one for you. But then you got on to say that the whole cohabitating thing bothers you and the fact that he's not offering to commit is bothering you. (im lost on that one) you can not have it both ways, you dont want him but your upset cause he dont act like he wants you. huh wtfis that all about. dear figure out what YOU want and go get it. Why are you awaiting arrival of something you dont want in the first place. Cancel that order make a new one for what you want and get it.
2006-09-15 05:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by BLACK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats rediculous give me a break this is not the man for you but your so hurt that he doesn't want to commit to you so you'd have him put his heart out there so you can what? Tell him no perhaps this man can see that he's not the one for you so he is not going to waste your time or his. The fact that he's good to you and your child is wonderful but come on if he gave you a ring and you said yes out of obligation you would be on here in five years looking for divorce info. This is not your ego were talking about this is a life long commitment and if he's not the one then thats that.
2016-03-17 21:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are saying you don't want him but enjoy his money. He must take good care of you and your 6yr old. If you don't want him why would you want him to commit to you. Finish school and leave him alone. Don't play with his feelings.
2006-09-15 03:46:07 · answer #4 · answered by LuvAll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to marry him and you don't think he's right for you but you want him to commit? You want to "make" him commit? It sounds like you're the one who's screwed up.
2006-09-15 03:36:32 · answer #5 · answered by Spud55 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sound like a whore to me. maybe that's why he don't want to commit. and a great education your giving your daughter
2006-09-15 03:37:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you don't want to marry him & you don't want to break up yet - so you are just using him- what does it matter? ( why he hasn't asked to marry you) you're going to break his heart anyways
2006-09-15 03:39:05 · answer #7 · answered by gabby 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to force him or give him any ultimatums, they usually backfire. He will only resent you later.
2006-09-15 03:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by heaven o 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What is your question ? You do not want marry him, it looks like he does not want also. Show him a door.
2006-09-15 03:39:24 · answer #9 · answered by George S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋