I am 27 and my bfr. is 46, he also has three children from his previous marriage.
I lived with him for over a year, and this cohabiting situation is bothering me.
I don't want to marry him, I don't think he is right for me. However, the fact that he is not offering to commit is bothering me.
I would never push him into that, cuz it wouldn't worth nothing. He has to come to it by himself.
Anyway I just want to know his reasons but I can't ask him directly.
Any suggestions on my situation???
2006-09-15 03:01:33 · 17 answers · asked by Mistyfog 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
either accept living with him -- our move out---he will not commit---why he already has everything---
2006-09-15 03:04:35 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You can't make someone commit. -They have to want to on their own...At least you have that right.
2. If you know you don't want to marry him, what kind of commitment are you seeking? -Any commitment he might make to you would be a waste if he knew it would never end up in marriage. Don't try to deceive him...living together tends to bring the truth out.
3. If you can't communicate with each other then there is no reason for commitment. -After a year of cohabitation, you should know more about his wants, needs, and thoughts on commitment.
4. You referred to him as your boyfriend...does he consider himself to be your boyfriend or are you simply an opportunist using him for a place to stay?
5. Are you certain that you are not being used as a nanny? -These are just bits of food for thought that might help you to figure out your situation.
Best Wishes To You.
2006-09-15 10:18:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold the boat - you want him to commit to you, but you don't want to commit to him?
He is essentially old enough to be your father. He has been burned before. He has no valid reason to commit to you. He knows that you are not right for him. The list can go on and on.
Why would you want to "make" him commit? So you could turn him down? What is the point of that other than some sort of control mind trip for you?
This is not an adult, mature relationship. It really is all about whether you can ultimately control him enough to set him up for a fall.
My suggestion? Leave him alone, let him go. He deserves better.
2006-09-15 10:08:53 · answer #3 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is committed. He is living with you. I think that is enough.
Resist the urge to define the relationship. It's probably important to you (hence the question) but once you start poking at it you may find things you don't like to hear or, in fact, limiting your relationship.
If both of you are content on most levels, then enjoy your company together and know that it is "understood" that you are a couple.
2006-09-15 10:09:21 · answer #4 · answered by wrathofkublakhan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept your relationship for what it is. You already know you don't want to marry him so why pout and stomp your feet because he hasn't asked you? He probably hasn't asked you because he can pick up on that vibe your sending him. But the real question is why would you want him to ask you when you don't want to marry him? So you can tell him no? Just remember that asking a woman to marry him is one of the biggest question a man can ask. Maybe he's just being careful because he's already been married before and it didn't work out.
2006-09-15 10:12:34 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♪ TrickNice ♪♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Commit to what? If you don't want to marry him, why would you want him to commit.to you. If you don't think he's right for you, you need to get out of the situation in the first place. W hy are you wasting your time and his in a relationship that's not mutual in the first place?
2006-09-15 10:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to marry him, why do you want him to commit? You just want ot satisfy your ego?
If you don't think he's the right man for you, why do you live with him? When you live with him, aren't you reducing your chances of finding the right man?
I am not asking you to leave him. The choice is yours to make, because by living with him, the right man for you may likely feel he does not want to come between you.
2006-09-15 10:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all u should'nt have fallen for such a person.well thats also ok bcoz it is said that love is blind.so just leave him.....coz if he is not ready to commit to his and ur relationship then its just like wasting time on him,he is not trust worthy.so just walk away from him..dont even expect that he will dare to tell u his ideas coz i feel he lacks courage.so just leave it to GOD.i think he certainly has something better for u..best of luck!
2006-09-15 10:10:23 · answer #8 · answered by FARHA Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to make him commit then you don't want him anyways. Besides - as the saying goes-why buy the cow,when the milk is free?
2006-09-15 10:05:38 · answer #9 · answered by nidan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lemme get this straight, your complaining that he isnt offering to marry you even though you dont even want to get married??
I suggest you stop thinking like a child.
2006-09-15 10:05:46 · answer #10 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well maybe he knows that you dont want to marry him, thats why he hasnt asked. or hes waiting for the right time, or he might just worried about marriage.
2006-09-15 10:08:40 · answer #11 · answered by party_2_hearty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋