My grandparents (fraternal) have never really been good to my brother and myself. They hate my mom because she is my father's 2nd wife and they think that divorce is evil. They also don't like her because she used to be a bartender when she was paying her way through school, but now they are both successful and still my grandparents hate her. They have always ignored our side of the family, only visiting us for 2 days on their way back to florida from my uncles in W.V. where they spend 5 months of the year. They always brag about my cousins, but never about us. I graduated high school 2nd in my class and now I'm in college and 90% independent. My brother is in high school and works full time in the summer and part time during school and keeps his grades up. My cousins hardly pass their grades and they are the ones she brags about and treats us like we don't exist. I hate to say it, but I can't stand it and I don't know how to get over it. Am I an awful person?
2006-09-15 02:55:35 · 17 answers · asked by Domi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
These are my blood grandparents. My father was married when he was 19 and divorced at 21 with no kids.
2006-09-15 03:05:11 · update #1
no you are not an aweful person, everyone that deserve respect should get it. Dont worry about what they say ignore them as long as you respect you brother mom and dad. Thats all the love they need. Its your grandparents loss. Your mom could have been some lazy do nothing person but instead she worked her way through college hey be proud of her and yourself dont let them get ya down, there are plenty of other people in the world who love ya. Congrats in school and keep up the good work all of you. Good luck
2006-09-15 03:01:06 · answer #1 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
No, you are not an awful person. If your step-grandparents refuse to be mature and continue to treat you as less than human, then you are only required to be civil and polite to them, as with any other human being who is not a nice person.
You are never going to change them and there is no value in allowing their petty, immature behavior to rent space in your head, or make your life miserable.
You have a lot to be proud of - some great accomplishments - and you don't need their approval or acceptance of that.
2006-09-15 03:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like they're punishing you inadvertently because of something your dad did. Try killing them with kindness. I'm sure they love you, but they're sore when it comes to your dad and divorce. Send them cards every once and a while.... they're the only fraternal grandparents you're going to get... you'll miss them when they're gone. And, no, you're not an aweful person. It might just be that they don't see you that much so they really don't know what you or your brother are about. Like I said, kill them with kindness.
2006-09-15 03:00:49 · answer #3 · answered by rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not an awful person. Just be nice to them when they visit and don't worry about it the rest of the time. Get on with your life. Life is too short to have mean miserable people in it, even if they are family.
2006-09-15 02:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people you can't please no matter what you do, i know how you feel about this my grand mother did us the same way but i got over it. when i was little she never did buy me, are my sister and brother anything for Christmas if she got us something it was from a yard sale and she wanted my mother to pay her back for it. you just keep doing what you are doing everyone isn't going to pat you on the back . some time you have to pat your self on the back . one day your grand parents is going to see that they have did your side of the family wrong. if it hurt you this much go to them and let them know how they have hurted you. speak your mind. good luck .
2006-09-15 03:06:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally see where you are coming from... But love them anyways... Its easier said than done.. but it makes your life so much easier to just shrug it off, rahter than harbor anger/hate.. you said you see them for 2 days usually... so its just two days... when they leave... they leave.. pray for them, and try to forget the things they do.. What would we all do if God couldn't forgive all those here on earth who hate him, and say rotten things about him.. imitate Our Lord's undying love... if you have to, love them not because they are your family, but because they are also God's children... charity is a good thing, and actually makes you feel happier... be the bigger person(s) :) its not a crime to have a big heart... one day they'll figure it out! I'll keep you in my prayers!
Love is never jealous, love is never careless or unkind, love isn't boastful, love will survive whatever comes! :)
2006-09-15 03:04:20 · answer #6 · answered by lily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through this. Don't hate them. They are part of you and hating them is like hating a part of yourself. They obviously don't care about you. Just ignore them. Call them your dad's parents. Don't hug them just say hi. Call them Mr______ and Mrs_____. That will get to them when you don't call them grandma and grandpa. This might sound mean but it works. Do not invite them to graduations, weddings, and other very special events. Have your bro do the same.It will tick off your dad but explain your feelings he will agree with you.
2006-09-15 03:49:30 · answer #7 · answered by damisaunders@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to or not to love people. I would be resented at them too. You have 2 sets of grandparents, but you only have one mother and she is irreplaceable,
2006-09-15 02:58:51 · answer #8 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother hating them. Just realize that they are missing out on your family and they will someday realize that. In the meantime, be polite and just accept it for what it is: their petty, small mindedness and that you are no way at fault.
You are not in competition with the cousins so don't even bother with that. Be polite and that's all you can do.
2006-09-15 03:00:45 · answer #9 · answered by Chloe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well,hating your grandparents does make you look awful,but in other circumstances you do have a point,in this kind of matter you must be patient and try talking to them(grandparents)and try to solve it in a peaceful way so that it would make it easier to unerstand this matter and not make it a lot worse,just try it
2006-09-15 03:07:25 · answer #10 · answered by irhamhkm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋