We have been together for 3 years and he still dosnt trust me. He is para and dosnt let me have a life. I love him so much but I cant take the rows any more. any advice....
2006-09-15 02:47:10 · 29 answers · asked by MOUTHY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sounds to me like you don't have many friends. Sorry about that. Have a cake, that should cheer you up.
2006-09-15 04:31:19 · answer #1 · answered by J C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe hes been hurt very badly in the past. You have to show him in every way you can that you love him and only him and that you would never do anything to hurt him. Make him feel special. Work at building up his trust.
Try some counselling together. It will help you him to see that you are his and his only and it will help you to uderstand how he feels, and you can use that to make him feel more secure.
Talk to him about how you feel gently, but reassure him that you love him a lot.
Don't give up on him, because you're lucky to have someone who needs YOU so much as opposed to someone who needs other woman.
2006-09-17 07:13:56 · answer #2 · answered by lakmii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do ppl feel the need to act like idiots when answering questions like this, Im in the same boat Rach, my fiance is the same all i ever hear is "your going off me arent you" but i put up with it because i love him and sometimes it does get me down that he thinks id do something to hurt him but its just the way he is. The only thing you can do is reassure him that you love him and explain you wouldnt be with him if you didnt love him and that if you wanted to be with someone else then you wouldnt be with him either. Its easier said than done but although it doesnt seem to sink in with my man it might just work with yours lol ill keep my fingers crossed for you hunnie but js remember you cant live like a hermit because your boyfriend gets jealous
2006-09-15 10:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by dina_170606 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh paranoid. Is that actual slang somewhere?
Have you EVER done anything to make him not trust you?
If your that frustrated, you could change whatever tactic you use in the arguments. If you have been defending yourself anf calming him down for 3 years, you could try telling him hes and idiot and taking a walk if he wont calm down.
People only change so much. He wont ever not be jealous, just able to control it more.
Also have you ever read articles about 'fighting fairly'?
http://marriage.about.com/cs/conflictandanger/ht/fightfair.htm
you could try that as well. It might make it more productive and less frustrating.
2006-09-15 10:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by desi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may sound harsh, but he is never going to change. I have just been through a similar thing.. I was with him for nearly 4 years we had a break in the middle, and after 9 months i got back together with him, thinking that he had changed, but a year and a half later, I realised he hadnt changed, and with his age he was just getting worse. I left him 3 weeks ago.. it is absolutly killing me, but I was misserable and we rowed almost everyday. You can try and talk, but in my case it didnt help. But definatly try... good luck (strange species they are ;-))
2006-09-15 10:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and find out why he doesnt trust you. If his reason isnt valid then you need to sit him down and explain that you dont intend to hurt him and you need some personal space to pursue your life as well as the life you have with him. maybe he has been burned in the past and is scared but he is releasing this feeling in a very possessive way.
If after talking there is no resolve, maybe you should go your seperate ways.....
2006-09-15 11:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by Stealthy Ninja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Ask him why he doesnt trust you. He must have low self esteem and think you are going to run off with someone else, just assure him this is not going to happen and how you feel about him. The more he lets you go out, the more he will trust you. He has to loosen his grip on you and it will improve your relationship and make him feel better. Good Luck.
2006-09-15 09:58:52 · answer #7 · answered by Rache 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have got to take a stand now paranoia is just an elaborate reason for controlling a person and there actions i now know someone who,s boyfriend cut up her clothes because her mates asked her to come out for the evening
2006-09-15 09:59:26 · answer #8 · answered by no nonsence 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont see the real Para's enjoying you connecting your affair with their good name by naming your boyfriend as Para with their exclusive title
2006-09-15 11:57:21 · answer #9 · answered by srracvuee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has probably been hurt or cheated on in the past, if so you can say what you want to him, he will still have his doubts. talk to him, tell him how you feel, there is no relationship without trust, but remind him it works both ways, how would he feel if you question his every move?
2006-09-15 09:53:07 · answer #10 · answered by zeldieuk2002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Para as in paranoid sorry but that's what it sounds like.Live it up when he's away then.
2006-09-15 09:59:12 · answer #11 · answered by CPK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋