The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for early retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The Captain calmly replied..."In Vietnam."
2006-09-15 02:21:36 · 8 answers · asked by EL Big Ed 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Love it Hehehehehehe......
2006-09-15 02:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by Sangy . 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ha, the Captain was the only guy with balls enough to get all the dough.
2006-09-15 09:26:16 · answer #2 · answered by Niche Jerk 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is funny, but for the second guy it should say "upstretched hand" not "outstretched".
2006-09-15 09:24:32 · answer #3 · answered by BlueSea 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well at least he finally got something worth his trouble in the end huh.
2006-09-15 09:27:39 · answer #4 · answered by dogsrwork 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOL that was a good one
2006-09-15 11:56:18 · answer #5 · answered by Josie31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so funny. LOL
2006-09-15 09:24:02 · answer #6 · answered by notyours 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That was great!
2006-09-15 09:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by cab veteran 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he he funny
2006-09-15 09:26:57 · answer #8 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋