Well I work in an office. I very much like a man. I let him know that I'm not trying to vamp him. I am just looking for some time and attention from someone I personally am drawn to and find attractive. I have invited him out a few times. He has refused. Sometimes he gives me the impression he likes me, and some he seems distant. The women I work with flirt with him, and know I like him yet still chase him. I'm stressed and have decisided that I will not hangout in the presence of him anymore. Because I can't stand to be treated like the polite stranger, when I would like to be more. Now to get to the point. Do you believe it is best that I just keep my distance for the rest of my life? which is basically what I have decided to do.
2006-09-15 01:46:25 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes he will. If he has refused your invitations out for a date he is either gay or he is spoken for or he finds you intimidating.
I think you have chosen the right course of action.
2006-09-15 01:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by Gavin T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
run through these questions
1) did he understand you were inviting him out
2) refused is a string word was it refusal etc or something else
did he have other plans or a heavy schedule and responsibilities
3) were the logistics convenient, you didn't ask him 10 minutes before a bunch of you were going to go to a pub for instance
4) Is he a senior in the organisation, or going places, is there a policy against dating colleagues, would it be risky for him to date you, is it not appropriate for you guys to date in the public eye that is your office
5) Do you know what his situation is, whether he has somebody or not
If you don't know the answers to these questions you have possibly got in too deep too soon.
You are responsible for this nobody else, realise the reality of the situation, try and step back a few paces.
He may be gods gift, but understand he's a person just like you and he may be attracted to you, but just not into the pressure build up thing !!!
Next find out the answers (or solutions) with an open mind and choose powerfully from a position of what you wnt whether you still like him or not.
If you know the answers to all the questions above then you know what to do. If its positive go for it and dare to make a fool of yourself, you could end up marrying him or you may not but you might not ever know unless its clear. Try and be playful and be aware you are still in too deep !!!!!
If the answers are known and their are negatives you are still in too deep, too quickly and the best thing is to move on in the best way you can.
You could avoiding him, not do anything differently but choose lose feelings for thim over time or actually confront your feelings and actually hang out with him and convert him as a friend and not a potential lover.
This last option is the more difficult to do but it may bring the greater rewards, and would have you learning your lesson and not falling in quite so deep so quickly the next time.
Certainly both of the last two options would be better than running scarred every time you see him. Far more professional in the working environment don't you think.
2006-09-15 02:48:36 · answer #2 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when we find ourselves attracted to someone it can sometimes be a stressful matter especially if we don't know if the other person feels the same way. Love is a gamble but we won't know if we will be winners or losers if we don't take the chance. Don't give up on this guy just because other women find him attractive. Get out of that "polite stranger" status and make him notice you. If you can cook then prepare a lunch for the two of you and take it to work. Trust me, we men love a woman who can cook and who takes time to prepare us something.
2006-09-15 02:20:44 · answer #3 · answered by getinon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Effort is totally on what kind of person he is or in what situation he is in.
What i mean to say.....it is extremely hard if not impossible to tell that he likes you or not...he may seem distant but he may still be interested in you....some people dont like to make to first move or are not so confident doing it or just afraid of the outcome of it.
The second factor may be the situation he's in.....may be he's stress out due to some reason(personal and unknown to you)...like work, love , family.....its just endless......
So i want to say that there is not gurantee that a person who likes you will make the first effort.....why dont you make the first effort.
2006-09-15 01:55:01 · answer #4 · answered by Moy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is interested, he will let you know.
"Keep your distance for the rest of your life" - how old are you? What is the "rest of your life" have to do with it? Sounds like "I am taking my toys and going home". Grow up.
Just because you like someone doesn't mean they have to like you back. That is just the way it is. Be civil, be cordial and keep your contacts on that level, without going out of your way to either see him or ignore him - both are obvious and you don't want to appear to be a spoiled child that didn't get their own way.
2006-09-15 01:52:19 · answer #5 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are shy guys you know. That or he may already be in a situation. Before giving up, I would probe some more to see if this is the case and then act accordingly.
2006-09-15 01:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by M D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. He's made it clear he is not interested in you, at least not in a dating type relationship, and probably fears it even being a friendship type relationship, now that he knows you are more interested in him than that. Begin again to find someone else.
2006-09-15 01:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, as a man, flirting is just 'testing the water' and he is trying to work out whether you are genuinely interested in him.
Maybe you could try giving him a more overt signal of your liking of him ?
How about showing him your thru'pennies ?
2006-09-15 02:13:20 · answer #8 · answered by eponymouswhitey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are sorry if he felt embarrassed by you having invited him out and that you realise it may have been insensitive, that you won't do it again - and then stick to it, come what may. If he comes after you - mission achieved. If not, he clearly was not interested and you know where you stand.
2006-09-15 02:02:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wass interested He would seek you out.Sounds like he is giving you the cold shoulder.You and all women desrve better than that.Blow him off.Find a guy that Will treat you right.Good luck
2006-09-15 01:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋