2006-09-15 00:45:43 · 10 answers · asked by maxi 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I had this problem with my daughter throughout elementary school. There was nothing that could be done either. As they grew older it just got worse to the point where in the end by grade 8, they were so nasty they were posting terrible comments online about her to one another (Cliquey bunch of little biotches they were) and one girl went so far to put my daughter's name on her blog under "things I hate". Well my daughter printed out all the NASTY comments (and I mean nasty...this was a Catholic school too) and brought them to the principal and said I am sick and tired of this and want something done. Well the principal is a fantastic woman (new principal and very kind) and she clamped down and the teachers interviewed the kids and called parents in and even called the police to come to the school and talk to the grade 8s.
I think it scared the crap out of them but I was furious when I saw that they endangered my daughter by exposing her name online and I got involved only to the extend of telling the principal to inform that child/parent that if it wasn't down by the end of the day, I would personally get the authorities involved myself.
It was payback time for us as far as I was concerned for all the grief they caused over the years.
Well oddly, it was a turning point for everyone. The kids who did it were terribly embarrassed, some even went on to different schools after. My daughter was vindicated (and she is a great kid, worked in the office, participated in clubs, supervised younger kids, etc. etc.)
What I did was put her in Girl Guides and other clubs where she met different kids and a much better class of kids. She LOVED it, and you know what? Now that she is in high school many of the girls she met at these places go there and she has a whole new class of friends...and confidence!!!
So stand by your kid and advocate for her always.
And do make this known to the teacher and prinicpal. They have a responsibility to ensure your child's wellbeing.
In our school we have a motto....respect and dignity for all...and we enforce that!
Yes it's a learning process and kids will be mean etc...how they learn to interact...but some kids are just mean and their parents never do anything and actually encourage that "fight back" mentality...where what they should be encouraging is peace and understanding.
2006-09-15 00:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My daughter now 13 went through this stage (and is somewhat still in it) where some of her friends would take advantage of her good nature. My daughter does not like to hurt any ones feelings and respects other people's property. But when she was 9, three of her friends were constantly taking her stuff and if my daughter stood up for herself, they became nasty. I cautioned my daughter that the nice kids are not so nice as you get older. I told her not to limit herself to just a few close friends but be friends with everyone. She backed off from these girls for a couple of months and then they were wondering why my daughter did not join them at recess and lunch anymore. They asked her about it and she was blunt. They started being a little more respectful. I also taught her not to take crap. There is a group of 4 girls that have tormented her all summer and she has left them alone but yesterday is became violent when one slapped her. My daughter said enough is enough and tore into them. Bullies think if someone walks away then they are weak but what they do not understand is that sometimes the one who walked was doing them a favor. I taught her not to start trouble but to finish it if it comes her way. ( I tried talking to the mother of this group several months ago and I can see why her children act the way they do!)
2006-09-15 08:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by cytopia1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encourage better friendships and ask for her to be seperated from these girls so she can establish new friends. Bring home some other girls from school to help the new relationships. Girls can be mean it is a part of life but if it is an ongoing problem your girl does not have to put up with it. A good idea would also be to approach her teacher and find out how things are in the class. She may work on it from her end. School is hard for kids and i hate watching this type of thing happening. So much for those are the best years of our lives
2006-09-15 13:18:45 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off ask her if she knows why these so called friends are mean to her. Next what do they do to her. Where they are mean to her at. If it is at school the school should be informed. If not then depending on the kind and amount of meanness you should either ban them from coming around and explain why or go to their parents if it is bad enough. Also encourage her to find new friends because friends aren't mean to each other that's why they are friends.
2006-09-15 07:55:24 · answer #4 · answered by newspapermaker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy the book Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmonds or Simmons. There is also an organization called Respect2all. Not sure if it is a national or local organization.
2006-09-15 08:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 is a hard age for that.. mine went throught the same thing.. its a phase 7 year olds go through.. but still hurtful!! sit her down and try to find out as much of what is going on.. but remember, your daughter is not going to tell you anything that she has said or done in a mean spirit, or at least not all of it. Tell your girl its ok to tell them that if they are going to be mean, that the "friends" are not being a good friends.. or what they are doing is not nice. etc..This is a good age to tell your daughter its ok to stick up for herself.. My girl ended up having to stop being friends with someone..(my friends girl had to stop hanging around the whole group of girls) but she found out who her friends were and they are best friends, even after we moved.When you talk to her, dont be shy that maybe she ..should not have said something, or done something... but always end the confersation in a possitive and confident building way.. "you are too nice of a girl ..... they are not good enought to be your friend... etc.. i found it was just one person doing the meanness.. and the rest was following, when my girl stuck up for herself, that was broken..and the other girls stopped hanging around the mean girl.. I hope that happens for your girl. Its hard to know someone is being mean to your baby.. (without wanting to go have a little talk to those girls yourself!!!!) keep her confidence and let her know you are there, that you agree she is a good girl.. My girl did learn to stick up for herself and she has learned that not all kids are nice...(sad but true) good luck!!!
2006-09-15 08:19:38 · answer #6 · answered by c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is normal for little kids especially girls..but how severe is the problem? maybe their just going through a little spat...but encourage your daughter to find better friends and not add to the problem by acting the way they are..tell her to ignore them ..but you and the other parents should get together and tell your kids to make up and be friends again
2006-09-15 07:49:41 · answer #7 · answered by jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are they her friends or classmates? If friends, she needs to get new ones. If they are her classmates, you need to get her teacher involved, not to get them in trouble but to find the problem and work on it. It could be something as simple as her dress code.
2006-09-15 07:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by tyreanpurple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try 2 find out what's the mistake she has done. No one will dislike any1 if they hav been mean 2 some1.... then try 2 resolve that mistake....
2006-09-15 07:54:51 · answer #9 · answered by S@meeR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. why not . u tray to face the problem at solve it. i believe u will be success. problem is not a problem. u think positively and face it. i will definitely help u.
2006-09-15 08:02:59 · answer #10 · answered by rajesh p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋