ok my question is a little complicated!!!!!?

Question

ok. i live with my mom and step dad, well here recently i found i have another dad in mississippi (he's my real dad i always thought my step dad was mt real dad). Well i did a people seach and found my real dad, and i called him up and we have been talking ever since. he is a really nice guy and i came to find out my mom kept him from seeing me. well my mom wants me to just leave him alone till i am 18 which is in dec. but he wont stop calling my bf or emailing me, and i wanna keep talking with him. so what do i do stop talking to him or keep talkimg to him. i think my mom just has past grudges and thats why she hates him, but does that give me a reason to hate him. HELP PLEASE!

Answer 1

It doesn't have anything to do with your Mum. Don't let her wreck your relationship with your father. She's never going to be completely happy about it anyway so why cease talking to him at all? The quicker you show her the way it's going to be, the quicker it is she'll just have to get used to the idea. Don't lose your Dad and regret it in years to come! He's obviously wanting you in his life. What a great thing! Cherish it, don't punish him for it.

Answer 2

First of all.. No u should never hate anyone just because someone else does.. you should make ur own choices and feel whatever way u want about people in your life..

Realize, that theres more history here then u know.. and that u may ever know.. but what ever the reasons, your mom feels like shes protecting u.. even if her reasons may be wrong.... but know that your relationship with your biological father has nothing to do with the relationship that "they" (your parents) had, its seperate and ur allowed to feel however u want..

Parents arent perfect.. none are.. and they make choices in their lives to the best of their ability.. sometimes they are wrong choices.. but they are doing what they think is the best.. so try to understand that people are human and they do make mistakes..

Keep emailing your biological dad....

But dont judge either parent unless u know all the facts from both sides.. to make an informed oppinion of your own.. obviously neither of your parents were perfect.. or u wouldnt be in this situation right now.. but love all of them INCLUDING YOUR STEP DAD.. for who they are in your life.. cause although im sure your step dad wants whats best for you, i can only imagine this is probably tearing his heart out the most..

Talk to your step dad, i think he's probably going to be the one to not only want whats best for you cause his emotions are more tied up into u , where ur mothers emotions are more hatred towards your bio dad..and she may not be thinking clearly because of this.. and your step dad, may be able to give u some insight on why feelings are as tense as they are.. and i think he's the only one that would be able to reason with your mom in this situation..

Answer 3

If your step-dad raised you as his own he is your "real" dad. Just because the other guy gave you DNA doesn't make him a Dad. What happened between him and your mom has two sides and you may never really know what happened. And really it is between them....your mom probably has a very good reason for wanting you to wait to talk to him. And you should respect that especially if it is only for a couple of months. I am not suggesting that you should hate him just because your Mom does, but Mom's do things for reasons sometimes beyond our understanding. And sometimes you just gotta have faith in them. If you found him so easily he most certainly could have found you. Have you ever wondered why he didn't? He is something new and exciting in your life...don't let him trash what you have with your mom and the guy who has always been there for you. Good luck.

Answer 4

I went through kinda the same thing. I didn't meet my dad til I was 13. It is not fair for your mom to tell you not to talk to him. If she doesn't want to see him or hear his voice if she picks up the phone, that's one thing, but to tell you you can't talk to your own father....that she kept from you is unreasonable. If she kept him away because he was not a good person, you are old enough to figure that out on your own (if that is the case) and it has been 17 years since she knew him, he could have changed.
Tell your mom that you have a right and a need to talk to your father, and you will continue to do so, and doeing so does not mean you love your step dad any less.

Answer 5

I would be a little hurt and upset that your mom never told you that your stepdad was not your real father. I would calmly confront her about this and ask her why she doesn't want you speaking with your dad. If he is indeed your real father you have every right to speak to him. I would look for some answers.

Best of luck!

Answer 6

You're almost 18 and it's time you started making your own decisions.
My mom would'nt allow me to keep 1 picture of my dad when they divorced.
She bad-mouthed him every day my whole life and when he told her she'd turned us kids against him she told him that we have eyes and can see how badly he treated us so he had no one to blame but himself.
he did wrong YES.
Years later before I got married my mom told me I was doing it at the courthouse cos SHE was'nt paying for a wedding and she'd be damned if my dad was gonna be there to walk me down the aisle so not to try to get him to help pay for it!
That's the day I realized that maybe life was'nt all my dads fault and forgave him for how we'd been treated.
Don't allow yourself to be forced into having the same opinions about others as your mother has.
You are not her clone.

Answer 7

Your mom issues with your dad are hers and hers alone. If you want to have relationship with him you should. I think the best you can do is be sincere with your mother about your needs and wants about your father. You deserve to have a relationship with him and not even her can be oposed to that. It is also unfair to you that you have to hide the relationship with him. This lying and tiptoeing is not healthy and the only one who is being affected by it is you.

Answer 8

i think maby you should really have a heart to heart with your mom, maby he did something to really upset her and she did not want to hurt your feelings, if he was that concerned dont you think he would have tried to make contact with you rather than you finding him also now that he has contact with you he could use that as a weapon against your mom know. before you do anything rather have a serious talk to your mom, and dont forget who has raised you your whole life your mom has had to do everything for you and dont forget your stepdad he has also given you his all by accepting you as his own, dont ruin that relationship for a man who claims he wanted to be part of your life but couldent if he did why did he not go to court for visitation rights, as heartbreaking as it is he proberly does not care for you at all and is using you.

Answer 9

ayou begin to be adult You'll make your own decisionss... Firs of all you just you wil care you mom dads will go one day. Feel ground under earn your money love both or three of them see all no need to tell this your mom or dads...
even you can capture some money for your fuuture

Answer 10

keep talking to your dad a few months shouldn't make a difference.Don't tell mom when you talk to him if it makes her that upset.She may be mad because she raised you and now he shows up when you are almost grown.he missed out on everything and he is taking her spot light.let your mom know that you love her and she did a good job with you.