help advice needed on long distance gf?

Question

i have a long distance gf who i have been supporting with the plan for me to move over we have been dating for 3 yrs and i have gone over there 15 times, she is always pushing for money, however we have not slept together she has hardly kissed me and hasnt visited me, i love her but she wont say it back and, cos i have been supporting her i have not got enough to go to see her and havnt seen her physically in over a year, i beginning to feel its a very one sided relationship, she is perfect to me and we have a great time and hold hands with lots og hugs but when i have gone over there to canada i have paid for everything, what should i do

Answer 1

There is a contradiction between "she is perfect to me" and the other issues that you have stated, and you need to resolve this in your mind for yourself. Try not to re-read question for a few days, then re-read what you have written as if someone else wrote it. Re-write it in pros & cons form. Think about your relationship in a different way, as if you were mentoring yourself, then take your own advice.

I assume that you haven't clearly communicated to her any of your concerns. If so, read on. I encourage you to be honest with your concerns to her. She cannot improve her behaviour and values if she does not know the level of anxiety this is causing you. She obviously has totally different thoughts about how this relationship should be conducted.

If you cannot discuss these important concerns as a couple now, then the current lack of communication will be more difficult habit to overcome in the future should the both of you keep building the relationship. Now is the moment to confront and overcome this issue. Don't allow it to become a hindrance to your future relationship.

Answer 2

Can I just say this My husband and I lived 100 miles apart, and met when we were both 18 We saw each other only at weekends and the journey to see each other involved a bus and a train journey and in these days took about 4 hours That was in 1974, and am pleased to say we've been together ever since We married in 1977, 32 years ago So go for it, long distance relationships can, and do work for lots of people

Answer 3

Let me get this right, you are paying to have a girlfriend. You really need to wake up and smell the roses. There is no relationship you are just providing finance. You need to stop contact immediately, change your address, phone no and email account and find a person with who you can build a proper relationship. You do know that your move will never happen because she would never allow it. She doesn't care about you just your wallet. Dont wish to upset your more, but you are being well and truly conned.

Answer 4

There has to be communication here otherwise you could well be taken for a ride, it is easy to get caught up in these situations been there myself, always saying it will change then it doesn`t. I think you have to get her to meet you half way, it may be that it hadn`t crossed her mind about the situ so, try & get her to discuss where she thinks the relationship is going & if you cannot come to a compatible alternative then you know what to do.Good Luck

Answer 5

Unfortunatley in my experience one sided relationships never become equal. Also unfortunatley long distance relationships don't often work out. Put the two together and well, it might be time to look closer to home....

Answer 6

I would definatly say all she is interested in is money, for someone to be with you for 3years and not made the effort to return any of your generosity then i would say she is using you. Personally i would just delete her out of your life and move on no-one deserves to be treated like that.

Answer 7

sounds like she is usin u 4 ya money. how come u didnt realise this b4? iv got a long distance boyf but share the travellin
between each other and see each

Answer 8

wake-up she is just using you how can you call her a girlfriend if theres no kissing involve ?you dont live in the 60's anymore you are just wasting your time and money move-on get a life and a new real girlfriend

Answer 9

I believe this woman is using you for your money. I believe this is a one sided relationship. I believe you should stop seeing this woman before she breaks your heart completely and ruins your credit.

Answer 10

Sounds to me that your being used for a CASH COW ...I say find someone else that isn't asking for money and really loves you for you not the money they can extract from you !!!