We've been dating a year and a half and he claims he likes to hang out with his friends to much to be in a relationship.
2006-09-14 23:53:01 · 17 answers · asked by Sasha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Relationship phobia.
Relationship Radar
How to determine when it is time to go
Like most things, relationships are addictive. They’re comforting and consistent. They give us a sense of belonging and establish a familiar routine in our lives. That’s probably why so many couples continue in a lifeless relationship for months or even years before acknowledging its post-mortem condition.
Your affection for each other should be the force that makes everything else worthwhile. If you think you’re convincing yourself that he’s good for you, convince yourself to take a step back and reconsider.
2006-09-15 00:09:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the full extent of your relationship or at what level of closeness you are, emotionally, spiritually or etc. but communication is the key.
Men generally take a while longer to 'want to settle down' than women overall, particularly when they have been independent all their adult lives. There are a few exceptions, younger men settling early but I doubt there are many.
What you describe sounds like a decent enough proposition. Why should you stay with a man who does not wish to settle down after 1.5 years.? If that is what you want and not what he wants, why hang around. You could be in it another few years before he 'knows for sure'. If you are sure he is trying to separate from you, it may be time to let him go.
I guess it is up to you to decide whether spending time with his friends is really interfering with your relationship, whether he is 'looking for someone else' or whether it is simply just male bonding time. He may be wanting more time with his friends if he is feeling hemmed in or pressured or if he can't handle the closeness he is sharing with you.
There is a definition of cheating which includes a whole range of behaviours. Women often feel 'cheated on' when their partners replace spending time with them with spending time with someone else. Essentially if they are building a relationship with someone else, that can feel like he is cheating even if there is no physical aspect.
If I were you I would let your man know how you feel particularly if you think he is trying to pull away from you.
When you talk it out, you might find there is nothing to worry about and there is no reason that you can't still have the relationship and he have his time to hang with his friends. You might appreciate making time to do your own thing as well, spend time with your girlfriends and family, pursue your interests. Then the time you spend together will be much more special because you will both want to be there.
As long as there is good communication going on and you are not being treated like leftovers.
If you work through it, could end up being a great relationship and lead to marriage.
I wish you the best of luck!
2006-09-15 07:17:57 · answer #2 · answered by dorcas_3210 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It differs with each man...some are willing to commit in their early 20's or even before!
Really think of where you are in your life and what you need...he seems to have made his decision and you have to work yours out now...but remember to change a guy is not possible unless he wants to be changed, which is usually unlikely...
If his friends are still more important, that should be a warning sign to you...he might be the committing type...but not to you at this moment...
You can either wait and drive yourself crazy, or move on and save yourself any unnecessary heartache.
2006-09-15 07:17:24 · answer #3 · answered by Patience 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not seem it but 30 is still pretty young for a man.
He may have only seen unsuccessful relationships as a young person. What's his parents story? Always a fair indication of a guys attitude about attachments.
2006-09-15 06:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by Yellowstonedogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been dating for a year and a half and he still doesn't wanna be committed? Forget him! He sounds like a lifelong bachelor to me. Find someone who shares your desire for commitment.
2006-09-15 06:57:17 · answer #5 · answered by Holly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple. He wants to taste the world (alone) without getting his lips burnt. dont expect much from him, if he is only interested in hanging out with his friends.
2006-09-15 07:04:09 · answer #6 · answered by aftab24ff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it's probably more fun to him to be out with his friends than it is to be sat indoors with you.
2006-09-15 06:55:54 · answer #7 · answered by shoby_shoby2003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
past or learned behaviour within a relationship,,if its going to break ,,why buy it,so to speak.
2006-09-15 06:57:24 · answer #8 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be a ginger beer or just a jerk that won't commit......
probably a ginger beer.
2006-09-15 07:15:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because he is seeing someone else. or he is boy in a mans body
2006-09-15 06:59:18 · answer #10 · answered by dmncprkr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋