Ooooops ..........?

Question

I have been friends with a guy for about 13years. We lost touch for a while and got back in touch a few years ago, he since got married. However his wife who i have never met hates me i think she sees me as a threat for some reason. They are having a crap time and have been going to marriage councelling my name came up the last time they went. Should i remain friends with him or not unsure about what to do. I know he likes me and dont want to mess things up for them im not interested like that at all...HELP!!!

No i do not fancy him like i said just friend christ cant you be just friends!!
Pacific flyaway- i have a job you fcuking moron get a grip

Answer 1

Yes of course remain friends but lay low for a bit, this maybe one of many a problem with their marriage. not your fault obviously but for now do the decent thing and stay away

Answer 2

Stay away from this player. Why would his wife hate you if she's never met you? How do you know that your name came up in counseling? How do you know? because that's what he told you. he's playing you. He probably told his wife just enough about you to piss her off. What is said in counseling is confidential. He told you just to get you worked up. He's playing you and laughing about it behind your back. he's trying to get into your panties if he hasn't already.
If you're not interested in getting in the middle of things it might be to late. He has already put you there. say good bye and fond a guy that is not tied up with someone else.
How do you know they're having a crap time? because that's what he told you. Women have been falling for that line of b/s for years. All these poor guys that have wives that are mean and nasty to them. It's b/s.

Answer 3

I think that if you distance yourself from him it will make it look like you have something to hide, which you don't. You should not allow a jealous wife damage your friendship. If his wife is this insecure then this may not be the real problem in the relationship, it is possible that she is using you as a shield to defer notice away from the real issue. Also I think you should ask your friend to let his wife see that there is nothing but friendship between you two and to truly trust him. Trust is one of the foundations of a marriage and if she doesn't trust him then that is their problem. Don't blame yourself for those problems they have, though it may seem like it, you are not the source of their problems. Don't blame yourself.

Answer 4

you're obviously in very close contact if he's telling you these kind of things are happening - so i would recommend you ease off the contact - tell him that maybe ye should only speak once a week or so - depending on how frequently ye talk now.
Id also air your concerns about the fact that you feel his wife may think you're a contributing factor towards their problems, and you cant see why as you have NO interest in him as anything other than a friend - you're letting him know this way - but without the awkwardness of having to tell him kinda directly outright!

Answer 5

Seems to me you're behaving/thinking EXTREMELY responsibly and caringly and if they are having marriage problems, it's hardly YOUR fault, unless he's still and always has been in love with you and that's the reason they're having problems but even if that's true, it's not YOUR fault. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Providing you're seeing each other as friends and not having a sexual relationship, there shouldn't be a problem OR complications as far as I can see.

Of course the final decision has to be yours and to do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable but do talk to him about it regardless. Communication is SO important. And good luck.

Answer 6

Not because of u they have a crap life. Usually the reason is something else, but u are used as reason.
Don't let it get into ur head & stay friend with the guy. They need to work out their true crap & quit blaming u.

Answer 7

like you said you don't like him in that way you should let that insecure wife of his know that you are an old friend and you never like him in that way maybe she is looking for away out and the only way she can see is to balm someone else you just seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time babes you should try to put space between you you can still be friends but you must meet as you no what was said in their last meeting so you make it look bad

Answer 8

My dear, i think that it's better if you stay out of it. They already have a lot of problems, so it's better if you do not go through that.
I understand that you care about him, but in the case that this is not helping him, but just messing things up, you should pull back and let him find his own way with his wife.
This is the best thing about them and the best thing about you also, cause you will not be involved in unpleasant things and discussions!
Good luck

Answer 9

No offense but i have seen most married men do not have single female friends unless they are friends of the wife first, for some reason married females dont trust their husbands when it comes to single friends, best advice stay away before you cause more damage

Answer 10

Y do u ask this question its not like u will change u for him she obviously hasnt so y not screw them up alil more why dont u... u were fine with out him b4 now u say u want to be his frend agen... great that will sort it out none the less eh... ask him what he wants from his relationship if he hesitates, or looks like he doesnt know, or maybe even looks like he is lusting over you, question it... he wasnt that important then so dont fret over the fool... if he brought ur name up then be worried if she did its just alil mistrust but see how did this actually goes with... u and him... her and u... all of u together

Answer 11

I would just tell him that you are going to keep your distance until all this blows over, his wife is being very mean towards which is not fair but maybe this guy told her ages ago that he had a crush on you so she feels you as a threat. Keep away for a bit even though its not your fault! x