Why cant i fight people???

Question

Now im not trying to be an asshole guy who fights people for no reason.

Im 17 right now and i know that teenage drama is dumb and pointless crap. but for some reason i keep falling into certain situations that dont necessaraly need fighting but some sort of assertion.

one example is my 26 year old sisters husband is a drug addict. he constantly stole from my family. he ruined my sister's plans for a real life and left her a single mother with 2 kids. he is now in rehab and she finally left him. this all happend within a 3 year period.

i watched it happen but i had some sort of mental block that didnt let me do anything. i tried to but i just couldnt. when i was younger i was more straight forward but now i dont know. i find myself in tough situations like these ALOTE.

it makes me feel a rage inside and makes me snap harder for smaller things.

is this some sort of mental block.
can someone explain what i should do.
if i should just start punching or what should i do??

i myself am also in situations of the same importance.
that was just a small example were i wasnt really involved as much as the more personal situations im in right now

Lets just say that people wont stop messing with me.....
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Answer 1

Well this happens to me because I am too shy to speak up right away. Then the situation (whatever it may be) escalates to the point where I'm totally mad, and I proceed to blow my top.

It is hard for me but I know if I do one of two things I'm ok.

Speak up sooner, before I've let myself get too mad, ....

or wait (if I have gotten too mad) and let myself get re-composed.

I do best if I try and follow these rules. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

Most of the answers here are right and by saying fighting is not the answer is true in most situations but some people are fighters, some are flighters. Now don't be a prick and start fighting anyone, especially someone weaker than yourself. Like the first answer said; try a contact sport like football or boxing or perhaps even martial arts which will teach the mental aspect of fighting and knowing violence is not the answer in most situations. I understand what you mean about not being able to do anything in the important situations and then get pent up with rage over the small things. Counting to ten and all that stuff does not really work because you still get bent out of shape, i know, i have been there. Physical release is the best way to get anger out but try getting a punch bag or fighting a bunch of pillows, after a flurry of punches you will be a little more tired and stop to think. This is when you need to weigh up the gravity of the situation and make your plan. Was it some dumb kid who nearly hit your car then let it go or is your sisters asshole husband trying to get back in her life - deal with that one, you see what i mean. Letting it all out emotionally can really help too, sometimes crying and feeling weak can make you really realize what you need to do.

You will be fine though ok mate, just keep smiling and look on the bright side of life, you are only young, there is much more sh1t to come your way i am afraid.

Be lucky kid,

McFly

Answer 3

you must realise that each person must walk their own path. They must deal with the consequences of thier actions. If you had for example gotten involved in your sisters situation you may have done more harm than good. people are funny that way, they need to make their own decisions.

Try some sort of contact sport to find a release for your anger. You cannot control others only yourself.

Answer 4

You couldn't have done a thing. She would have still been with him only mad at you too if you had opened your mouth. It's not your business. Grown folks do as they wish, right or wrong and no amount of arguing is gonna change that.

Your anger inside is directed at him but the source lies elsewhere. You need to go to your parents and ask for help.

Answer 5

Some people handle their anger different Be glad you aren't one who beats the hell out of everyone that can end you up in a lot of other problems
May family are not fighters and have seen others within ours hurt we are there for each other, not saying we aren't angry, we just know somethings are better left with beating the hell out of the jerk. Myself I practice yoga helps me release what bothers me inner peace. Your still young work with your claim anger (if you will) you don't want to be violent too much of that anyway

Answer 6

You can't control other people's lives, only your own. It's sad what happened to your sister, but all you can really do is lend her support and be there for her.

Why would you want to fight? It's much more peaceful not fighting and just trying to be there for the person and understanding. Fighting will get you no where fast.

Answer 7

It sounds like you're afraid of confrontation. I suffer from this also. If I even think about confronting someone, my head begins to feel like a war zone. I think its a slow process to learn. Just start with baby steps when it comes to confrontation. I understand you wanted to at least be able to say something to that putz, your brother-in-law. I don't think that amounts to fighting her battles for her. I think its very natural to want to protect your family. Those are good feelings. I think maybe an assertiveness training group would help. Good luck to both of us.

Answer 8

you are not alone. the hardest thing there is to do when you see someone close going through stuff like that is to do nothing. but however you probably did the best thing in doing nothing. your sister had to make that decision by herself and she will be stronger for it in the end. you are still young and it sounds to me that you have a good heart and alot of selfcontrol. don't put yourself down for that. take that as a good thing. when an occasion arises i belive you will do the right thing and know when to step in but in your sister sitution i believe you did.

Answer 9

think twice and make once...think of
after-effects...
Kick smb's asss in case you are sure you are right,
for inst.: sombody flirts with your girl....
but it's not the way-out in your example i think.

Answer 10

counsiling