I give my daughter a tug on the ear to get her attention. A older lady told me that this was child abuse.?

Question

Today, while in the store I gave my three year old daughter a tug on the ear to get her attention. Mind, you this was after several times telling her not to climb on the riding lawn mowers. Then she decided to run willy-nilly though the store.... so I tugged and an older lady told me that it was child abuse.... But what else can you do? I got angry and asked her if she wanted my job. If I had let her run wild, then it would have been my fault if she hurt her self... a "why doesn't she discipline her child" sort of thing. And I've seen parents do far worse in stores... what do you think?

Thank you everyone for your opinions. I admit that I was a little agitated..who wouldn't be after chasing a future track star (three years olds are fast) the length of Lowe's... My intention was not to hurt her...then she would have cried (and I really didn't need that), I just wanted her attention on me so I could tell her what I wanted. Her ear wasn't red or anything after I tugged it. And if I remember right there is no " time out department " in Lowe's.

Answer 1

well there is always going to be someone who disapproves of your parenting skills. Someone could have said you didn't do enough. Children need discipline, and if that is what gets her attention, then that is fine. there is nothing wrong with pulling her ear. it did not physically damage her or her hearing. Don't worry about what the lady said. you are doing good by not letting her run wild. and you did good telling her off basically.

Answer 2

You even need to be careful about pulling one arm, better to pull both arms because by pulling one, parents have accidentally pulled the arms out of their children's sockets. The lady probably knew of a case in which an ear was tugged unnecessarily painfully, like when a child accidentally forgot to do something. Parents seem sometimes do such a thing mechanically without attention to the circumstances. You were not deliberately trying to hurt her but she might pull some other child's ear in imitation of you. Remember, she's young and probably having a hard time being responsive. I can understand difficulty of the moment and attempting to protect her. Ears are a delicate part of the body and such a tug should be reasonably gentle and applied with a reasonable amount of concern for the effect on your child. If you feel you have to do such a thing, it seems there is a serious enough problem that you should talk things over with your child later in an attempt to help avoid it in the future.

Answer 3

Things change !

A number of years ago a kid could have received a clip across the ear or a belt to the bum and no one would have said anything.

Most people now would say that anything that hurts a child physically should not be done in this context. The research suggests this promotes the idea that violence is a way to solve a problem. Often the suggestions for alternatives are based on not giving attention , that is using time outs.
Don't feel bad for what you have done, you acted in the best interests of your child. But as I said these things change over time, but you could look into other methods of helping your child learn right from wrong.
Childrens behavior can also be linked to diet, using fresh fruits and veg and lowering sugar/salt intake can also help this, look this up or ask a healthcare professional if you would like to know more.

Good Luck !

Answer 4

People are getting so awful about this--you can't do anything. And then everyone complains about kids running around wild in stores, etc.

My mother (and this is not exactly ancient history) on more than one ocassion hauled me into the ladies room and spanked my bare bottom. I guess no one was too upset--if so my Mom didn't care. I suppose now she would be arrested. So I wait until I get home to discipline mine--a much less effective approach.

I have never tried to get my children's attention or discipline them by pulling their ear. Back in school there was this old nun who would do it. I don't think so long as you are not overdoing it that it is a big deal. If I saw it I would probably just be glad you were trying to keep your kid under control. But now days you can't be too careful--you can end up in jail. So I am a closet spanker:(

Answer 5

so many people don't discipline their children and that's whats wrong with society today..
I have read most of the answers and NO spanking a child does not promote violence that's just plain BS. My upbringing was beat the kid ask questions later and guess what now that i am a mother I rarely ever spank my kids.. That's a whole different issue but its bull..
Its your child and if shes running wild in the store then by all means please control her.. Good for you i say BRAVO for a parent that actually controls their child.
and If some one had told me anything about my child I would have told them to mind their own business. Its these same people who complain about you disciplining your child that will complain a bout your child being a monster in the store too.. So what exactly they want is unknown to me.

Answer 6

When I was a child I remember a paddle used by the Principle of my Catholic Elementary School on me. In the 70'2 that was not considered child abuse. Today, any time a parent disiiplines their child, someone is likely to call it child abuse. If all you are doing is hurting the child's pride with the tug on the ear to get his attention, then it is not child abuse. If you have to take the child to the doctor becuase of the tug on the ear, then it is child abuse. Everything in the middle is open to opinion. When my eldest daughter was 3 and we took her to a store. I told her that she had to either hold mom or dad's hand, or be carried. If you truely love your child, then you will know where to draw the line.

Answer 7

I hear parents yell at their kids in stores all the time. I think its necessary to discipline kids or they may get out of hand. A tug on the ear is not even child abuse. Some kids get slapped on the butt for being bad. I think the woman overreacted and obviously has no kids of her own to judge you so harshly for pulling an ear.

Answer 8

I easily have had 9 instruments of tubes put in my ears. i develop into very liable to ear infections as a baby and none of the different issues they tried to empty the fluid worked. Have they tried the different techniques which comprise antibiotics or different techniques? in a lot of circumstances, tubes lately tend to be a very last hotel, in spite of the undeniable fact that it feels like in the experience that your daughter has that a lot fluid, she will be in a position to favor them. this is a really easy and quick technique. they're going to placed her down and the tubes, they are tiny and eco-friendly, will be inserted into her ears. It facilitates to empty the fluid quickly and fairly. The tubes do fall out after a even as, and if her ears fill up again and they could't drain it, they're going to do it again. My ears are high quality now, and that i had to have the technique finished 9 circumstances between age 18 months and 10 years. this is not something to agonize about. sturdy success!!

Answer 9

Nowadays even yelling at your kid is considered "child abuse". I'm not even a parent but I can understand how difficult it is to keep your children in line esp. in public places. Parents get dirty looks and comments from people when their children are screaming and running around and they get the same dirty looks and comments when strangers feel you discipline them too harshly. Either way it seems you can do no right. People should mind their own business. It's not like you hauled off and belted your daughter across the face.

Answer 10

A tug on the ear does not equal child abuse in my opinion. In fact, if you ask me, a tug on the ear is nothing compared to some of the things that parents do (grabbing arms, slapping, etc.). Unless it is clearly child abuse (belting, beating up children, etc.) then I would not rely too heavily on other people's advice on how to raise your children.