can i still marry her? i love her very much and we have agreed to raise the children as muslims. her parents have agreed but my parents don't agree to us getting married. i need your answers please.
2006-09-14 18:17:48 · 13 answers · asked by ahmed 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
we have talked about this a lot and we have agreed on how we will raise our children. we are both americans. she's arab christian and i'm an african american born muslim (funny, huh?). she encourages me to go to the mosque and is very open minded. she doesn't drink at all and pork isn't an issue, as she does not like to eat pork or red meat.
i have asked my parents why they don't like her and i'll admit, it's because they are very judgemental to those outside of islam. they assume because she is not a muslim that she is not a chaste woman, doesn't dress appropriately etc. but their judgements are untrue. i feel that they will never accept her just because she's catholic.
2006-09-14 18:49:44 · update #1
hun you have to ask your self, are you willing to give up your happiness because your parents don't agree for the moment. Trust me, when you and your wife have a child, they will forget everything. Grandparents in what ever religion are still grandparents. once they look into your childs eyes, nothing will matter to them. When they see you happy they will be happy.
I have to say also that compromises will have to be made on both parts. But if the love is strong you will be able to over come it.
2006-09-14 18:52:47 · answer #1 · answered by carabela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AssalamuAlaikum
I think that maybe your relationship has already gone to far in your parents eyes. They are probably thinking in your best interest that you should marry somebody that would understand you and your religion. They might be afraid that she will try to convert you. You know that a lot of things can be said about what married life will be like but then you actually get married and then the children come and that is when changes come. When children come each of you will start to think about growing up and different things and then that is when she might change her mind, remembering all the Christmas things and how she wants her child to go to church and learn and be in sunday school. I have seen this destroy marriages. Her parents might agree now but when that little one comes.... And have you set a good Islamic example? Does she know that there will never be any drinking alcohol and no pork in the house? Does she understand and look at labels to make sure that there is no pork in what she is buying? You need to look at this in all different angles. Ask your parents WHY they don't approve, you might be surprised at their answers.
At anyrate.....Good Luck
2006-09-15 01:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by nilestyleniqabi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents concerns are valid and well worth your respectful consideration.
I recently read some advice posted by a Catholic priest to a young man considering marrying an agnostic. I think his advice could also apply in your situation. Here it is:
Hi Matt,
Do I have news for you! What we commonly call falling in love, the intense desire to always be with one certain person where one is always thing about her, etc. seems to be a built-in mechanism for mating and provides for the continuation of the race. There is a very good description of it in the book, “The Road Less Traveled” by M. Scott Peck. When one “falls in love” one will eventually “fall out of love” and either go to a deeper selfless form of love with the person or one will lose interest and look elsewhere for a relationship. Sometimes this dynamic can happen when one is already married. What should the person do? He or she recognizes that the attraction is inappropriate and remains faithful to his or her spouse to whom one as committed oneself for life. The attraction eventually will fade. There is a good example of this in the movie, Mr. Holland’s Opus” where a high school graduate falls in love with her music teacher. He is definitely attracted to her, but realizes that such attraction can lead nowhere since he is happily married and so much older than she is. So he says no to her and to himself. It is very possible to do this. It’s not easy, but life isn’t always easy.
So simply because you have “fallen in love” with someone, doesn’t automatically mean that you should marry her---no matter how intense your feelings for each other may be. At eighteen you are altogether too young to be thinking in terms of marriage anyway. You have education to think about and how you will be earning a living---and so many more woman to meet and know. In our culture teen marriages almost always fail.
Now to your question: The Church does allow one to marry a non-believer, but it strongly discourages it. Children need their parents to be on the same page about what matters most in life. You are in my prayers Matt. I know this wasn’t an easy entry to read.
Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.
2006-09-15 01:34:39 · answer #3 · answered by anabasisx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look into the future a little bit ,
Think what would be the consequences if certain things where to occur, like Muslims or Christians have some sort of Revelation or extreme event, what then?
As a Muslim could you be true to her and to your self?
Is your religion or hers so strict that it could be a point of tension between you?
Your parents, would they really ever l welcome her into the family?
How would your life together be like?
Holidays?
ceremonies? rituals?
What would Christmas be like for her? and your children?
How would the christian grandparents react? would it separate you?
You do have to sit with both families and ask many of these questions.
Your happiness and hers depend on it.
May Divine guidance be with you both.
2006-09-15 01:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Ahalia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, as a Muslim man, parental approval is NOT required by Shariah. There is nothing in Islam that stops you from marrying her.
Go for it. Your parents will understand eventually.
2006-09-15 04:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you live in a western country and are over the age of majority politely tell your parents to go to hell. No woman you pick will ever be good enough for them. tell them that if they start trouble, you will raise your children as catholics, which actually won't be all that bad, since catholic schools have a better education program than public.
2006-09-15 01:24:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Catholics and Muslims both believe in honouring their parents. If you wish to follow your religion strictly, you should listen to your parents. If you don't care to follow your religion, then what your parents say and what your religion says means nothing. And what does that make you? You should never have gotten close enough to her to have this happen. Live and learn...hopefully.
2006-09-15 01:22:05 · answer #7 · answered by vinny_the_hack 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would love to answer your question but someone asked about Bible scripture about hair and I wrote something impolite about it not saying much about hair or about thongs or pasties. The person was insulted. Can you imagine that. Insulted. This ditz was asking about hair. I was insulted that the bozo wasn't asking about how better can I show my love and concern for my neighbor. Well that's religion for ya. Nits instead of love.
2006-09-15 01:23:13 · answer #8 · answered by valcus43 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Follow your heart and marry her. Your parents should understand that you're an adult capable of making your own choices.
2006-09-15 01:21:23 · answer #9 · answered by pegasus_1174 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
real catholics are not supposed to marry outside their religion. she cannot even marry another christian who isn't catholic
www.chick.com
2006-09-15 01:20:05 · answer #10 · answered by aguyinthewoods 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋