I'm 18 and i have a brother. My mom and dad lives in another place (not gonna mention where) and my brother with them. Ever since i was 5, me, my mom and my brother moved to the states but my dad had to remain where he was due to his work. He would come visit us whenever he has time. But this isnt entirely about just my dad, my mom who works when she has a chance. I guess its my parents way of expressing love, we put the food on the table, clothing on you, a place to live... but i think i never registered that as the kind of love i needed. I actually think back everytime im on like the subway or whatever when i see how close and intimate a family relationship can be from little kids on the subway with their parents. and it kicks me right in the ***. I guess its jealousy and i guess im sort of blaming my parents for it.. But i never really took it as an issue just until yesterday.. anyone have this kind of experience as if they arent even close to their families at all?
2006-09-14 18:05:35 · 7 answers · asked by vooshoo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm 19. Parents seperated since i was 3. Out of 19 years, I probably only lived with my mother for 3 years and an extra 10 years with my father. I went to boarding school for 4 years and ive been living by myself for 2 years now.
Just like your parents providing for you,my dad was the one who put the food on the table, clothing, basically any expenses was taken care by him. He is a quiet character, we do talk at times .Theres no intimate relationship, But thats the only one clear way he expresses love.
I never really had a relationship with my mother. Although I still talk to my mom from time to time now but i dread it most of the time, I get annoyed when i listen to her stories. Even so , I somehow know that she still loves me but probably has some difficulty expressing her love .
Bottomline is that, no I dont have intimate relationships with both my parents and just like you i get very jealous when i see happy families, so together, but truth hurts sometimes. you just have to make the best out of things and be happy with what you have. Some people are way worst off.
The Bright Side
When you have your own family later on in life, you'll understand how important it is to have an intimate relationship with your family(not only giving materialisticly) and making you a better parent/spouse/person.
Don't worry too much about what they do for you, but worry more about what you do for them. Its good karma if you believe in it.
Cheers!
2006-09-14 18:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by Joel M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might just be part of growing up or it might be something that you will feel well into adult hood.
I felt that way for a while, and still do to some extent, just cuz my child hood is gone. The more independence you gain, the more closeness you lose with your family because you have your own life to live. You have to discover yourself as a free individual, and that's hard to do.
It might seem the same way from your parent's pov, that they aren't as close to you as they'd like to be. But they've been going through that your whole life.
If you have the type of parents who believe that showing affection in public is embarrasing, then you may have been deprived of something you deserved.
2006-09-15 01:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by trinityangelmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly it is more common then you think.Not all family's are close.I haven't talked to my Mom in years.She felt that her job was complete when I turned 18.
When you are older and ready you could start a family of your own and correct the mistakes. I choose to raise my children with love ,tenderness and lots of laughter.They in turn passed it on to their children. Our gatherings are filled with joy of being together.I no longer miss what I did not have. With the help of a loving husband ,I created my own.
2006-09-15 01:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by eva b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My little sister died 2 years ago. My mother said " I didn't think you'd care so much"... as I was crumpled to the ground crying. ( she was on the phone). I have not seen them for about 6 years( besides the funeral for my sis) and my mother's last words to me were " I wish I never had children " and my father's last words were " It doesn't matter that I gave your brother 40 thousand $$ for a business, I have learned NOW that it's wrong for me to help you with anything""........ They are severely disturbed people and I'm better off with out them..........ps, my brother is wacked out on drugs and I never see him ( been 3 years or so ). I have no uncles , no aunts, no grandparents, no cousins ,,, no one. so, yeah, you are not alone.
2006-09-15 01:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
someone has to teach a family "HOW" to love, let it be you. OUr family never said I love you, one time my little sister cried and cried over it and we all started hugging and saying I love you, it will make your mom and brother at least see that it is needed and it is nice
2006-09-15 01:09:32 · answer #5 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom died and so did my brother. My dad and I live in other states and never talk much at all. God is my dad, after all, when we die, it's us and God not your family
2006-09-15 01:11:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm
i love my brother
we are close
my mum and me are fine but have fights my dad is cool most of the time
my real family i do not like spending time with
my brother's father ( not mine) his family is really eally close with me
also my godmother's family is really really close to me
but i love them all
2006-09-15 01:08:24 · answer #7 · answered by Hockey Chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋