Going to a funeral?

Question

Im going to my closets cuzzins funeral tomorrw...Im totally nervous... I hate dead bodies...and i dont want to cry.... what do I do...becuz im going but...Im gonna be sick

Answer 1

If you can get there after the casket is closed, it should go rather smoothly.

Nothing gets to me, anymore, so I just usually go along with whatever is considered appropriate by the group in which I find myself (provided, of course, it doesn't violate my personal sense of morality).

If you're not involved in planning the event, and you can't delay your attendance, it can be awkward:

Some people feel the need to look upon the body of the deceased: by so doing, they somehow find closure and come to grips with the certitude of the passing of the decedent. Unfortunately, they usually think everyone else must go through that ritual for the same reason.

If you're so approached with a "You need to go pay your respects," or "You should go look at ________ now," simply explain (don't say the numbers):

(1) "I realize that ________ (call the decedent by name) is dead, that (he/she) is in that casket, and that just a little while from now, (he/she) will be lowered into the ground and buried."

(2) "Thank you for being concerned for me, but because I understand these things, I have no need to look at the corpse: I (have found/will find) closure in my own way."

If the person persists, or if he or she tries to trick you into gawking at the corpse, simply state with firm conviction:

"I do not wish to cause a scene, but if you attempt to force me, I will. I do not want to look at that dead body. I understand we all eventually expire, but being around a dead body is as appealing to me as being around rotten eggs and sour milk."

As far as weeping goes, it's a natural part of the grieving process. If tears come, don't hold them back. Don't let others shame you for your sentiment, but shame them for their robotic apathy and callous disregard.

If you get to the funeral home and things still seem really rough, hold something like a small ball of tissue (Kleenex, toilet paper, etc.) in your hand -- just big enough that you can squeeze it discretely -- and when you squeeze it, remember my words, and I'll be there with you.

It'll be like you're holding my hand, and my words will remind you that the bond of friendship transcends distance, and that with a friend in your heart, you can triump over any adversity.

If you sense that you're eventually going to throw up, try to stay (a) to the outside of the crowd when you're outdoors, (b) near the aisle when you're inside a building, and (c) near the window when you're in a vehicle.

Usually, the sensation goes away 15-45 minutes before a catastrophic eruption (typically, with either no warning or with very little warning) -- so beware if you get the feeling and then it seems to go away.

Check the window nearest you for proper operation: sometimes, the windows may be locked or inoperable for some other reason -- and that's potentially really awkward, because by the time you figure out why the window won't work, it's too late to get the door open.

Ride in the front of the vehicle (or, better yet, drive the vehicle) to help prevent nausea arising from or aggravated by motion sickness. This offers several other fringe benefits in the event you get sick in the car, but since you're not going to get sick, I won't elaborate on them.

Do not "lock" your knees or stand with your feet completely together, and don't stare at any shiny objects or look into a glare. Those things make passing out very likely.

.

Answer 2

Get it out of your system. Remember your cousin. Cry (there's no shame in it.) Comfort each other. Then top it off with a real good wake. Laugh! Cry! Drink! Sing! Rock and roll!

Funerals aren't as bad as they used to be. It's no longer customary to put the body on display. They also frequently no longer have the grave-side service, as cremation has become more the thing to do. These changes have made the process less traumatic. You can say good-bye without the body being on display, because that flesh and bones is no longer a part of your cousin anyway. Your cousin is spiritual and no longer of this earth. Let them go. Wish them "bon voyage" or "happy trails" or whatever is appropriate. Your cousin would want you to remember them, but they would want you to have fond memories. Cherish the memories, but cut loose of the negative. Celebrate their life! Don't dwell on death. They're in a good place now.

If you need comforting, remember that God promised the comforter. So comfort will be there for you as well as others. This helped me in grieving for my Mom when she passed.

Bless you.

Answer 3

Funerals are hard. But try to go with a positive attitude. Think about all the great memories you and your cuz share. Try to celebrate your cuz's life and not be too sad by the death. It is natural to mourn though, so make sure if you need to cry that you do. Holding onto these kind of emotion only leads to trouble later on. Be brave and be as supportive as you can to all your relatives. My condolances.

Answer 4

make sure that you have somebody to hold and support you. when i went to my best friends wake i saw him laying there and i collapsed. i was lucky that i had someone holding onto me. you should cry at the funeral because you need to mourn the lose of your cousin. you don't want to be worrying that you are going to cry and work yourself up about these things. you will cry and you will freak and you will be nervous and you may even be sick. unfortunately these are all parts of the grieving process. burn's tips to a funeral. 1. have someone to hold you. 2. bring tissues (alot) 3. if you are old enough have a drink before leaving to calm your nerves but don't go there drunk. good luck.

Answer 5

you can go, but never look at the body called a viewing. all funeral homes have area's where you can sit with others and wait till the actual funeral as its closed casket then. many people don't like funerals as its not as much as seeing a person dead, but dealing with the fact of their own mortality. our family owns five funeral homes. and we have dealt with many who just hang out in the cafe rooms where coffee, snacks, food and soft drinks are given.

Answer 6

just know that what you are going to see isn't that person and that they are in a better place you don't even have to look at the body just remember all the good times you guys had and it will be over before you know it when they tell you guys to walk up and look at the body just turn your head b/ that isn't what you want your last memory of someone to be sorry for your lost but they are in a better place now God makes no mistakes

Answer 7

Don't be afraid there's nothing to worry about. Its OK to cry at funerals its good to let those emotion out. Try to relax a little to make yourself get worked up.

Answer 8

A fifth of Jack Daniels and you will think you are at Weight Watchers convention. Smooth sailing, my man.

Answer 9

Feel what you feel and don't try to hold your emotions in. You lost someone special, its natural to grieve.Sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

just calm down.if the tears fall,let them come,cause u might be remembering their life,and how much u luved that person.