i feel very lonely, my son is mentally ill and my husband treats him with contempt. My heart is breaking.?

Answer 1

Your husband doesn't know how to cope with your son's illness and now you're forced to choose between your son and your husband. Help the one you can, protect the one who needs your protection. You can't force your husband to change but you can support his attempts. Just not at the cost of your son's welfare.

Answer 2

Why don't you tell your husband how happy it would make you if you and your husband sought professional treatment for your son. Tell him you will pick out the professional, and you and your husband will meet and get to know him or her. That way, your husband can educate himself on what condition or illness your son has, and may seem less intimidated by it. Try to encourage your husband that he wants his son to grow up to be the best he can be, and this is a way to get him there. Tell your husband you want your son to grow up to be a man someday, to be a good guy just like his father. In the mean time, it sounds like you and your husband may not be getting along, and perhaps you two need some counseling. And don't be lonely, find a group of women who will support you...whether through a support group, a class, church group, neighborhood association, anything. People need people, we can't do all this alone.

Answer 3

I dont know how long you have been with your husband, or what your son had done to earn such contempt. But you may want to think about whether you want to spend the remaider of your life with your husband. Unless yur son has knowingly done something horrible, I doubt he deserves such treatment from hubby. Mental illness needs compassion and treatment ... not hatred or abandonment. How will hubby treat you if you suddenly became ill. A lot to think about.... maybe it would help to sit in on a support group for families dealing with mental illness.

Answer 4

men think that it can be "helped". sad, but true.

if i had a husband like that, he wouldn't be a husband for long.

there is NO excuse for any adult to treat a kid/teen or grown son that way.

tell your husband he did not fail his son because of his mental illness....tell your husband he is failing his son because it's his choice to do so....tell him I said he needs to grow up-and if he can't do that, counseling. my fiance is not my childrens father, however, there are plenty of mistakes, mainly how negative he is towards my social developement child. even when brandon doe's good, he is not shown the positives. It drives me crazy because he seems to pick out more bad things about him than good and we all know kids strive NOT to dissapoint their parent's.
We should be starting counseling soon. (all four of us).

my stance is three strikes and your OUT.

he has no idea what he is showing your son. parents think they can raise kids when they aren't mature enough to follow through.
your husband could be in denial.....

i've explained it this way to craig....

when my boys and him do not get along, my heart breaks THREE times. my boys are a part of ME. when he treats brandon bad or the other he's angry at, he hurts my feelings too.

My kids are GOOD kids. Despite what they have been through, yes, they have issues, but they are still thriving without much issue from either one. My fiance fails to notice that. (Whats worse is that he knows what kind of atmosphere they came from) but, he doesn't show much difference sometimes.

if you need to talk, i'm here for you!

Answer 5

that is so sad, hopefully he is not mean to the boy. Men take things a lot different then us women do, I think men feel almost responsible for this to happen. Maybe it is a sense of guilt and he is covering it up with his actions. If he is hurting your son you need to seek help. Have you and your husband ever discussed the boys problems and let each other know it is not either of you at fault???? this could help. I hope so

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear about your pain. I think counsel is a good idea, but as I struggle with a tough marraige, anxiety and Fibromyalsia, I know I wouldn't be making it through if it weren't for God's support(especially through the Psalms) and dear people praying for me and encouraging me daily. God wants to give you hope! Most of the Psalms are encouraging but try Psalm 23 and 46 first maybe. There are also prayer line through places like Crossroads.ca and Focus On The Family. Their lines are open 24 hours. I will pray for you although I would love to pray with you now. I hope you'll be ok. Please know that Jesus does care about you and your family.

Answer 7

Put your son first, before your husband! Leave your husband and take care of your son. People get divorced every second of every day, and you have a VERY good reason to. Life will balance out after a while, and eventually you will meet a nice, normal man who loves you both. Take care of yourself and your son, and get rid of this person who brings you so down. Life is short, if you allow this to continue, you will regret it later.

Answer 8

your feeling lonely and heartbroken is understandable. your husband should be there to support you but he probably does not know how to cope and somehow maybe feels its a point against him having a son who is mentally ill. i hope one day he will understand and give the two of you the love and support you both deserves. try to talk to your doctors or other parents whose child had the same illness. look for a support group. you take care of yourself.

Answer 9

There are professionals who can look at your son for proper treatment. I'm not suggesting they take him away from you. Better to find out how he got it. It could be hereditary and can help you sort things out. Your husband needs counseling. He still cannot accept your son's condition that's why he is acting that way. There is hope for everything so don't give up. God bless.

Answer 10

Pray and act. Your family is ripe for a change. You are the only one to effect change for the better. Get counselling or some kind of intervention. Go visit family w/ your son. Get away! If you are religious, have a serious talk with your, mininter/rabbi or spiritual guide. Is your son in school? Talk to his teacher, school counsellor or a social worker. You can do it. You have to be brave and do the best for your son. I believe that you are equal to the task. God bless!
Take care!