How to tell a 5 yr old that started Kindergarten that he has to wait until next year to go?

Question

His teacher feels that emotionally he's not ready. How do I tell him without totaly destroying his self-esteem?

Answer 1

That's crazy. That wouldn't settle well with me. Maybe you didn't give enough information...but I am thinking--school just started--isn't this a little too soon. Even employees at most companies get a 90 day period of evaluation. Are there other problems with him and he needs special attention? What does she mean by emotionally not ready? Does he cry? Many kids cry. Did he have problems with preschool? Did he go to preschool? I've been told by my teacher friends that kids that did not go to preschool are quite obvious and behind and have catching up to do...perhaps this is the case...and all he needs is time. I just don't think holding him back a school year is a good idea--without intervention or trying anything. Especially when you know it will most likely destroy his self esteem. Also, he may not need a year. I wouldn't pull him out I would give him more time. I would also expect help from the school to get him thru this. I don't like the "GET RID OF HIM FROM MY CLASS" solution. It seems like she just doesn't want to deal with him. Is there another kindergarten teacher? Or can you find some outside additional help to work thru this...or placing him in a different school? Also, I would ask to sit in on the class and observe it yourself. Maybe there are other things going on? Behavioral issue? Not happy? Or maybe it's not him---and the teacher or beliefs of the school? Our first go at preschool was a bad match. My daughter had problems separating...and bottom line was that the school just didn't care. I pulled her out when she was left to stand alone for 20 mins upset....after I told them she was not feeling well. She was also a young 3. I just feel that teachers should be able to handle all these situations. And even if your boy is a young 5--then he just needs more time. He will catch up. My daughter changed a lot in just a few months after that....and LOVES her new preschool now.

Here is a good article to read, in it I found this statement...
Most 5-year-olds do not start school with good social skills or much emotional maturity. These take time and practice to learn.

http://readyweb.crc.uiuc.edu/library/1992/getready/whatdoes.html

Answer 2

like several ideas like the check the teacher out.. but rather express it better by insisting the school pay for testing to pinpoint the problem...this is possible. even if u r in an alternative school system, u r legally able to receive paid services to test the child. i accepted the first answer for speech delayment, only to find out my rights were ignored. son was tested 2 YEARS later & had much catch up 2 do! is there an early childhood center or PPI prg the school can recommend? do not let a teacher decide 4 u! your son has rights. but, on the same token, i would accept the help they advise in a specialized area if it is found 2 b needed. u r very lucky this is being addressed in kindgtn. he has very many options b4 him. investigate. if u don't find what u need, call a friend from another state. my sis was very helpful because each state emphasizes different areas in education. she helped me look from another perspective. wishing u both luck! as far as the answer..do not dis the teacher 2 him. he will be wary of the ones 2 come and that wont benefit him later.

Answer 3

Well, first make sure you agree with the teacher. Then, find a great preschool so he continues to get the emotional readiness. That way, you can phrase it more like going to another school than having to stay out of kindergarten.

You could also tell him you need his help at home...

Answer 4

do you agree with the teacher? how emotionally ready do you have to be to attend kindergarten?

Sounds like you've already decided to pull him. Are you sure thats in his best interest?

if so, then just tell him that you miss him at home and ask if he'll stay with you to play some more. tell him you'll make him a deal to make it a fun year at home with you if he wants to wait til next yr. if he is emotionally not ready....I'd suggest getting him involved in play groups or daycare to build him up socially and emotionally.

Answer 5

maybe your child will help you by answering this question in just the right way: (it's worth a try..)


are there some fun things you would like to do this year rather than being in school? Your teacher says your already smart enough this year. She says you dont have to go until next time!

(everything here is digestable truth and a proud compliment to the child)

Answer 6

Get a second opinion. I've never heard of such a thing! I think it would be better to let him finish the year and see how he does and possibly hold him back than to pull him out and not even let him try. If he truly isn't ready right now, he might catch up and do fine. Have faith in your little one.

Answer 7

Ask for a second opinion definitely. Or take him to another kinder. Maybe it was a smart class . Kids learn quite quickly. If this is his first time away from home of course he needs time to adjust.THATS WHAT KINDERS FOR ,to get them ready for big school. Its better for him to go to kinder and repeat it if necessary than sitting at home and not getting any social skills. I think his teacher has it wrong.

Answer 8

Definitely get a second opinion. Remember, he is at an age, when he may remember this. So if you decide to hold him back, be as honest as you can with him. I personally think it is very questionable of the teacher to do this, but you would know best if they are right.

Answer 9

Make it exciting!! Thats the first part, explain to him that the Kindegarten teacher has a better class for him and that he has to wait for the Suprise next year, then next year, have a kindegarten party right before he starts. Yippy!

Answer 10

He doesn't know yet that it goes all year. Throw him a private 'end of kindergarten' party and tell him he 'did' kindergarten, Congratulations!

Then tell him now he gets to try swimming lessons (or soccer or something he can do socially and regularly to work on those skills!).