My x-boyfriend and I met in his last year of college we began dating he graduated and we continued dating during half of my senior year as well...we ended up breaking up over a stupid arguement and never "offically" got back together but were pretty much exclusive as far as everyone else was concerned. Even thou we both love each other and share the occaisonal kiss and go on dates, the magic seems to be lost. Last Tuesday he told me that he feels like he doesn't belong here anymore & wants to move back upstate where he is oringainally from (We live in NY & are both located in the city..about 40 mins away from each other) Well anyway he crushed me when he told me this & I haven't even been able to speak to him & tell him how I feel about him moving. I know 1 reason hes going is b/c he thinks there is no future b/w me & him anymore but I disagree...however I don't want to be selfish and beg him just to stay for myself...do I tell him how I feel or keep it to myself and let him move away?
2006-09-14 17:33:35 · 21 answers · asked by NiK* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
talk to him
2006-09-14 17:34:54 · answer #1 · answered by yogesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you are in differant areas of each others life. If you both mean so much to each other you will get thru this but you need to tell him how you feel for he might not realize how deeply you feel for him. This is a hard transition in life your both faced w/so you need to have great communication and understanding for one anothers life. He may need to go back upstate for a bit but by doing this your allowing him to search himself and in the long run he may come back to you. The best thing at this pt is to talk and let it all out even though it might not be affective at that moment it will be w/him and may turn a light on down the road.
2006-09-14 17:41:31 · answer #2 · answered by Ivory_Flame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you should tell him. There's no reason not to, and it will only be more painful for you in the future if you don't. You need closure, whther it ends with him or without him. And by you taking to him, he may be just waiting for you to let him know you really love him, but is too scared or convinced that you don't want him, to bring it up himself.
And, this is just my opinion, but I think everyone is selfish no matter how much of a saint someone seems to be because it's in our human programming to be selfish. Every single thing we think and do is out of selfishness because everything we do starts from doing it for yourself. And I don;t think thats bad. I think there's two parts to selfishness, positive and negative. Positive obvously being the kind where you do something initially for yourself, but with plans on also helping someone. Negative selfishness is when you're selfish and you hurt others or hurt yourself, or you help no one but yourself.
So, if you do this and talk to him, yes, like everyone at every moment of their lives, your being selfish, but in a positive way. It can help both you and your x-boyfriend to possibly reunite and live happily together. It's worth the talk.
2006-09-14 17:38:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go/move away. He has blatantly told you their was NO FUTURE. Prior to that, he broke up with you over a "stupid argument?" Hardly!!! He was ending it back then and was just keeping you around for convenience. Move on girl and save what self esteem you have left. To beg a guy to be with you when they are not into YOU any more is a demise.
2006-09-14 17:40:51 · answer #4 · answered by kristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to pursue this, tell him that he and the relationship are very important to you and that you would like to put it back on a full-time basis for, say, a month...and see what happens. Then, after that month is over, the two of you sit down together and take stock...see where you want to go from there.
2006-09-14 17:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by silver.graph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a famous saying and I think you should heed it:
"If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."
For now, let him go dear. I doubt he'll come back, and you can't make someone love you. Maybe it's all for the best.
2006-09-14 17:38:36 · answer #6 · answered by pegasus_1174 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. He may still go anyway, but at least you won't live with the "what if" factor, or feel regret that you didn't say what you needed to say. He may stay... or maybe try to work things out. But you won't know unless you say what's on your mind.
I hope things work out for you.
2006-09-14 17:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by milomax 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell him how you feel at least to let him know, he deserves to know and you will feel better too. if you say that you've still been going out then there must be a lot of trust between you and him and you should just tell him.
2006-09-14 17:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by girl-06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. Maybe the only reason he is leaving is you! You never know until you ask! Don't let love slip away, it may never come back around. Good Luck.
2006-09-14 17:37:07 · answer #9 · answered by denise r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should let him know how you feel its alawys good to share your feelings. But do not beg him to stay or make any promises to you or you to him. Remember set him free if he comes back then it was ment to be if he doesn't then it was not.
2006-09-14 17:37:40 · answer #10 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him how you feel. If you don't then you might not get another chance to tell him. Tell him that you love him and that you want to be with him and tell him that you guys can work out whatever problems you had.
2006-09-14 17:41:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋