Do you think kids today have too much freedom?

Question

I am a stay at home mom. And I have a 3 year old son and a baby on the way in late Jan. 07. I am shocked when I see all these kids 9 and up just wondering around by them selves. I was at the mall this afternoon and saw a mom drop off her what looked like a 9 - 10 year old daughter. And she just drove off! I couldn't believe my eyes. I saw the girl later with a boy and they were making out outside in the food area. Wow!!! I don't understand why parents do this. A mall is the 3rd top place in the country for a child to get kidnapped. ( FYI- A pet store is the #1 place in the nation for a child to get kidnapped)!

Both my husband & I agree that we will not allow our kids to be alone at all until they are 16. No dating, no group dating until they are 16. If they want to go to the movies or mall with friends on of us will be with them at all times. They will not have a cell phone unless they have a job and can pay for it them selves.

What is so wrong with parent being with their older kids. If you don't want to be with them they why did you have them. And guys, cell phones are not baby sitters. It is one of my pet peeves! I don't understand why parents use cell phones as babysitters insted of being with their kids.

I wasn't allowed to do anything by my self until I was 16. I never had a problem with it.
And my kids will be raise that way.

So here is the thing that I don't understand. Why do you think you need to allow your kids to roam around the mall, store etc. by them selves. Stores and the mall are not babysitters. What is wrong with them being with you while you are shopping. I see kids at target & wall mart by them selves all the time! It is crazy. I don't understand it. I know my mom would never allow me to go into a store by my self until I was 16. It just wouldn't happen!

Answer 1

Yes I do ! I have a 12 year old daughter and she is not allowed to go anywhere alone! She does not have a cell phone even though all of her friends do, she does not go to the Mall, Movies, or anywhere else alone, We came to an agreement that she was not allowed to de these things until she was older, 16 and I stick by it. I did tell her she could have a prepaid cell phone if she continues to getstraight A's, and so far so good but, If her grades fall the cell goes. Parents these days are too concerned about what the other children do and allow theirs kids to do and not enough about the actual child and what is happening to them, They are growing up too fast and theyare dressing like 20 year olds I do not allow any of that bull in my house!
Parents need to start being PARENTS not friends to their children!

Answer 2

I think it depends on where you live. I live in the city and the small children have far less freedom than I used to have, whereas the older kids have more.

Between the ages of 6 through 12 I lived in a little suburban neighborhood and was allowed to ride my bike around the block, go to the park 5 mins away with friends, walk to various friends houses by myself and play in the front and backyards until dark without 'direct' supervision.

Now, living in the city, my 4 yr old son cannot walk more than 5 feet in front of me or half a step behind me for all the dangers. There is no 'go in the backyard and play' and there DEFINATELY isn't any 'Can Sam come out to play?'.

Now when I was 14, 15, 16, & 17 the only place I went was work. Occasionally a friends house, and my parents knew who. I had no cell phone so there was a stack of quarters in my pocket. But I was allowed out. My parents were more of the 'if you're not home by curfew the locks will be changed' kind.

Maybe all these parents are too busy working to pay off the kids huge cell phone bills to have the time to escort them through the mall??

Answer 3

i don't think kids overall have more freedom

i know that some parents don't care very much about their children, and don't invest enough time in them... but for example, allowing your 12 year old to go to the mall for an hour with 2 or 3 other friends is a good way to start allowing them independence, so they become adjusted to life as a teenager, which oftentimes means making decisions on your own.

if you don't allow your kids to do anything alone until they are 16, then what is going to happen when they are 16 and with their friends who have been able to be alone since they were 12?

and just because some of your parent's parenting skills worked for you, doesn't mean that they will work for your kids.. times change, your kids will most likely be very different than you were at their age...

Answer 4

WAY TOO MUCH! It's sick, isn't it?

When your children get older you might change your mind. Teach your children respect and responsibility and let them make decisions/mistakes and develop themselves. I have 3 boys - 12, 10 and 3. I am allowing 12 yo a longer leash around the neighborhood but NEVER would I drop him at the mall even with friends. His friends have cell phones and I will not allow that - I'm the mean mommy but I am ok with that. My kids have a mom that loves and cares for them and if that means being mean mommy for now SO BE IT!

Answer 5

Now that I'm a mom I see weird stuff like that but then remember back to when I was a kid and there is a lot of differences. I was babysitting at 13 I would never hire a 13 yr old. I think they do have more freedom but a lot less responsibilites but what can you do. Just raise your own better than the kids that are 10 years older than them.

Answer 6

Kids have too much freedom for the society we live in.
The dangers have grown, especially with the technology we have.
Most parents have no idea what their children are doing on the computer or who has access to them.
I could imagine my child having a cell phone when they get a car so that we can communicate, but they will not be allowed to have a computer in their room with internet access.
People seem to be busier now with most parents working to make ends meet. The kids seem to get lost in the shuffle, left to raise themselves.

We're even raising the level as to what is appropriate. Look at PG-13 movies now compared to 10yrs ago.

Parents need to step up and take care of their responsibilities and be active in their kids life. Giving them moral support and guidance to do the right thing.

I agree with you.

Answer 7

yes kids have way to much freedom today. I have three kids two girls 14 and 8 (9 in dec) and my son will be 7 next week. My oldest does go to the movies with her friends or to the skating rink but never to the mall alone. We do it as a girls day out thing nd she loves having the one on one with me. She does have a cell phone though and that is because she is involved in all kinds of sports and clubs at school and often has to stay over and this way she can call when she is ready to be picked up and we don't have to worry about her walking home or anything. Once a kid is in high school you have to start letting them socialize with friends that is all part of the growing up. You need to know what they are doing and who they are with though and definitly no dating until 16. I encourage my kids to have friends and I have them bring them home, there isn't a weekend that goes by that I don't have at least one extra kid but I want them to build friendships. You need to be protective of your kids but don't go overboard with it.

Answer 8

You're preaching to the wrong group.

I think it's wrong to let the mall be the "safe" place a parent would drop their child off. Yes, I agree. I think that computers and TV shouldn't be the babysitter for a child either.

However, all you can do is protect your children. You can't change the national craze of dropping youngsters off at malls and movie theaters. You can't stop anything.

You can protect your children. You can have a safe and happy family that doesn't rely on the mall or what have you. For our one-year-old son, we know that there are coming to be times when it is asked of us to do that. However, it is our right to say "no" and our right to say "yes."

Answer 9

A 9 or 10 year old at the mall alone? I have only one comment:

In most states it is illegal for a child to be at HOME alone until they are 12 or 13! Much less anywhere else!

Answer 10

It is a different world. Though those that are neglecting their children are not very good parents, you have no control over that. If you're gonna follow your kid to a date at 16, you are going to be a very hurt parent from your child lashing out about how embarrassing you were and how you were not giving her privacy or space. Remember that though you may be trying to protect her, you may also be making the problem worse. You did raise her. You should trust her.