So this guy talks to his wife about how her son is affecting their relationship. she waits on this kid hand and foot, the kid just lays around the house. he has been ordered to go back to school, by the judge due to some trouble he got into. he works one day a week, and thinks he don't have to do anything around the house. the step dad is tired of this kid laying around takeing up space, enjoying comforts that he dont deserve. after haveing a similar talk with his wife she says her kids are all she has, and she is not gonna choose between the husband,and the son. Oh by the way her daughter is twenty four and she pays her car note the tags her cell phone. the mom sits around and crys cause she has maxed out several credit cards trying to buy her kids love, they dont even respect her. her husband is miserable, should he not make her kick this bum out and say to hell with the marriage? after all she says her kids are all she has. by the way her daughter lives two states over.
2006-09-14 16:52:03 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The mom pays all the daughter's bills as well.
2006-09-14 16:54:40 · update #1
Whtever he doe's he should not put himself in the position of being the bad guy. If he insist that the kid leaves, then his wife will always blame him for it.
Thebest thing to do is either accpt it, by being supportive of the kid, so that the wife will have to be the bad guy and she will eventually doit herself or he can take action, by getting himself involved in the kids life, spending time with him, finding out his interest and goals and gently motivating him to work (You might even have to find the job for him).
Some people just need to be held by the hand. See the movie
"Failure to launch" to get some ideas.
2006-09-14 17:02:54 · answer #1 · answered by cdubsj2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation. I dont know the answer, but suggest that there is more than one way to approach this. Personally I think I would get the family into counselling all together, then let the councillor take it from there. The thing is the mother needs to know that she has to stand up to her kids and that there are ways without her risking losing them. The kids need to know that this is going to happen and what is expected of them as contributing young adults - especially the respect thing. And the husband needs to know how to deal with all this and where to compromise with his wife. Thats only a basic outline and no doubt there is much more. Hope this helps. Good luck.
2006-09-15 00:01:41 · answer #2 · answered by twerf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to kick her son and let him experience life on his own. She shouldn't someone come in between her marriage like that because her husband is telling her the right thing. As a matter of fact she shouldn't even be paying her daughter's bills. These are grown people and they need to start acting as such. Her husband will be right to let her because of this if she doesn't listen to him. All her children is doing is making her and husband get in more debt.
2006-09-14 23:57:35 · answer #3 · answered by markcollinsbeywoman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother is an enabler. She thinks she is a good mother but she is doing a very bad job of parenting by letting her kids take advantage of her. She is training them to be users and bums. She needs to speak to a counselor or a therapist. Otherwise, it is doubtful that she will ever change. Do yourself a favor and get out of the situation if you are the husband. It's hopeless.
2006-09-14 23:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW....talk about mommy not letting go of the cradle. I cant stand women like this. Do they not truely understand the full meaning of raising our kids up to be responsible successful adults? My gawd...does she not realize that she is not helping these kids but hindering their successes. Obviously she is trying to buy her kids love to beat out their daddies and in turn they are using mommy and have no respect for her. This guy she is married too needs to put his foot down specially if he pays all the bills and owns the house. Wake up kids....theres a new daddy in town...LOL
2006-09-14 23:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by Ivory_Flame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They should write a letter to the Dr. Phil show. Debt is very stressful. The mother is sending the wrong message to her kids. Kids need to be taught responsibility. Parents shouldn't be bailing them all the time.
2006-09-15 00:14:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard choice to make. It would be easy for someone to say he should just leave her and the problems behind. He should at least make sure that he separates his credit dealings.
2006-09-15 00:02:31 · answer #7 · answered by konala 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋