Me and my boyfriend have been seeing eachother for a while. He is a very open person and always tells me how he feels (basically that sometime in the future he wants to marry me and start a family with me). I don't have a problem with this (I've thought about it and I do like the thought--at least for down the road). I guess the problem comes in with communication. I've never been good at communicating with people or telling them how I feel. I know this bothers him because he wants to know what I think and how I feel, but I have problems expressing myself. I just don't know what to do.
2006-09-14 16:49:52 · 9 answers · asked by confusedone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To thine own self be true. You're probably an introvert and there is nothing wrong with that. Not all of us are yakers in this world...
2006-09-14 16:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? It's hard sometimes when you are young and new to relationships. Not saying you are young. The relationship that I'm in right now is great. We have a really good level of communication. When we started out, I was determined to make sure I communicated even if it meant forcing myself and making myself uncomfortable. It helps so much in the long run. And you gradually gain more confidence and abilitiy to express yourself through words. A lot of times in past relationships, I couldn't get what I wanted out verbally in the right way unless I wrote it down. And I finally learned not to depend on paper and pen. It's always going to be ackward in the beginning, but it gets easier. They can't read your mind. As much as I would have liked guys to be able to do that, they can't. It's funny because sometimes I don't even have to communicate my frustrations because my bf starts doing the very thing I was going to confront him about. It's happened twice now already. Maybe try not worrying as much on telling him how you feel, but start out with little things. Like explain your day to him and don't just say it was great or what you did. Tell him why you enjoyed it or disliked it. Give him insight to you on a general basis and work into a more in depth communication about just you a part from your daily life or activities. But just talk about who you really are with him once you build that communication. I hope that helps you out!
2006-09-15 00:02:28 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start by practicing with friends and family. Watch how other people verbalize their feelings and communicate their feelings. Most of all, remember that this person cares about you and what your opionin is. Preface all things with kindness, and that will help you to feel like you are not being conflictual. You may also want to try writing him letters or notes. Reading always helps people to express themselves as well, by just giving you examples within the english language. Good luck!
2006-09-14 23:53:21 · answer #3 · answered by Rose C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to have the same problem. as small as it seems . Being very open with a boyfrined or girlfriend can be hard. I overcome that prolem a lil bit, but sometimes when i have something on my mind and am having a problem communicating, i tell him i want to talk , but dont know what to say, so if you can please be patient with me, and let me think a lil bit , i can express myself better. Or write down what you need to say, and then read it to him. so all your thoughts are organized and you can just say what you need to say with out interruption.
2006-09-14 23:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lie to him... if you really like this guy... they give they whole opening up thing a try. it's not that hard. you know how you feel just tell him. after a while you will be happy you have someone there besides you to hear you when you are in trouble or when you just want to talk. you have to talk somday... why not start now?
2006-09-14 23:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by Tigger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, hello EXPRESS yourself then. Write your thoughts out before hand like in an online journal or on paper at home for example a notebook or a diary.... then say this to yourself b4 u say it to him.. another words practice. Good luck and relax.
2006-09-14 23:52:23 · answer #6 · answered by crazybrunette1991 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO BE MORE OPEN WITH HIM ABOUT HOW YOU
FEEL . YOU WILL WANT MORE COMMUNICATION DOWN THE
ROAD. TO MAKE THIS WORK. JUST START TALKING AND
'LET IT HAPPEN. IT GOOD THING TO OPEN UP TO PEOPLE.
2006-09-14 23:53:59 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take your time and sit down and talk to him.You can't learn each other if you don't talk.
2006-09-14 23:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by endigogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lie to him
2006-09-14 23:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋