My boyfriend is away on holiday and I cheated on him when drunk last weekend. We moved to another country together a few months ago and I feel awful. As we are living together, it complicates things and I have no idea what to say when he comes back from holiday. At this point, I think telling him is a bad idea, but at the same time, I think that something bigger must be wrong for me to cheat on him in the first place. Advice is sought! Not just from people who think cheating is the ultimate wrong, but someone who has gone through the same thing and worked it out in their head...
2006-09-14 16:37:10 · 11 answers · asked by JKK 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Further details is that the boy I cheated on with is the next door neighbor. Although not a friend of either of ours, we are bound to bump into each other.
2006-09-14 17:11:00 · update #1
First of all... there is no excuse for cheating. If you love and respect someone, you will not cheat. Simple as that. Having said that... Maybe this isn't the man for you. I know you live in a new country with him but maybe you guys simply are not meant to be together. However, I don't know your situation. The easy way out is to never say anything to him about your sexual encounter. But then you'll be lying. I'd say tell him the truth. Be as humble as you can be. You don't want to live a lie. You're human and you made a mistake. Unfortunately your mistake will hurt another, but it happens. You're human. If he really wants to work this out then you guys will work it out. I don't think there's much you can sort out other than deciding if you want to be honest or live in a lie. After you tell him the ball will be in his hands. Good luck!
2006-09-14 16:45:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah hard one. i cheated on my last bf that i had been with for 3 years and people always said "Well there must be sumthing wrong with ur relationship" and i didn't belive that for a second as i loved him so much and never ever wanted to hurt him. In the end i left him for a crappy reason as i knew i had tainted the relationship and i could never get that love back always felt guilty terrible way to live especially when he was a great guy also the guy i cheated on him with and now i don't have to have that tainted feeling and i never want it so it taught me a big lesson on cheating on a person you really love. Also my friend cheated and never told she said it took about 2 years for the guilt to go and i didn't want to live with that. Also i realised in the end not long ago that the reason i cheated was that he didn't give me the compliments i needed at the time and he worked long hours so they obviosly was sumthing wrong i just didn't see it.
2006-09-14 16:45:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
he's your tenant. no longer your boyfriend. a minimum of someplace alongside the story you randomly say he's your boyfriend yet you reported he reported he under no circumstances had any interest in being with you. So that's amazingly perplexing. i'm no longer worried approximately him, i'm worried approximately your daughter who now has to handle mommy's new chum. you may under no circumstances carry an volatile relationship right into a newborn's life. appears like considering the fact which you have a newborn, none of this could have ever taken place. the two he's the tenant residing interior the basement or he needs to locate new residing arrangements. i don't be responsive to the place this random project got here in that he's your "boyfriend" sounds like he made it sparkling he does not % to be tied down. you are the single attempting to deny that fact. he could no longer magically exchange. He does not % to be with basically one guy or woman, settle for that. he's reported for sure he does not % as much as now you and it is CRYSTAL sparkling he does not % to be in a monogamous relationship. you are the single no longer getting the blatant hint pricey. provide up attempting to alter him, it is not in any respect going to happen. Get him out of the abode because of the fact the two certainly one of you do no longer could be coaching your daughter that that's a useful relationship or an appropriate thank you to be appearing. -Connor
2016-11-07 08:51:39 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with most of the people that posted.
This happened to me once. I cheated on my boyfriend... while I was drunk (but I don't use that as an excuse because I STILL knew what I was doing). I wouldn't have put myself in that position if I truly wanted nothing to happen. I think part of us says... hey, I was drunk....but we all know what we're doing when we're shoving drink after drink down.
ANYways, yeah I cheated on my boyfriend and then came home and noticed he left his myspace account signed on and was not home. I immediately start checking his myspace to see what girls he has been talking to.
THEN I stopped to realize... WHY am I checking up on him? Did I not just cheat on him the night before? What the hell is wrong with me?
I then realized I did not truly love him, nor did I even trust him when I'm the one that screwed up. So I ended the relationship and we are now still friends....
BUT I never told him why I ended it...I just said it was time we went our separate ways.
2006-09-17 23:08:23 · answer #4 · answered by kittytaylor55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cheated on him, it's very simple, you don't really love him. When you really love someone you never do this, or perhaps you feel lonely or taken for granted, if you didn't you wouldn't have done it.
If you were really in love with him, you wouldn't have gone there, either you don't really love him, or you are not really ready to have a steady relationship.
Analyze those 2 facts, perhaps you feel he doesn't give you enough attention/love, or you feel lonely and taken for granted, you need to take inventory of this relationship, I think it's a bad idea if you tell him what you did, it will really hurt him and chances are he won't want to be with you any longer.
Tell him, if you are ready to lose him, I'm sure he won't tolerate it, will deeply resent you for it and you will hurt him so, unless you are ready to go through a bad experience and pain.
2006-09-14 16:58:30 · answer #5 · answered by You are loved 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK YOU ANSWER OWN QUESTIONS, IT IS SOMETHING
BIGGER GOING ON IN THIS RELATIONSHIP TO MAKE YOU
CHEAT IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO MAY BE YOU NEED TO'
FIQURE OUT WHAT GOING ON WITH THE TWO OF YOU
ARE YOU WILL STRAY AGAIN. AND FOR TELLING HIM I WOULD TELL HIM HONEST IS THE BEST POLICY, THEN
YOU BOTH CAN WORK IT OUT IF IT IS WORTH SAVING.
2006-09-14 16:42:29 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i did the same thing (we have been together 4 yrs and havea child) and i am still trying to figure it out myself. i have debated telling but only becuz i know it would hurt him..not in a good position either hun but good luck to u
2006-09-14 16:46:29 · answer #7 · answered by lolli_pop69_2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were drunk and horny, its not your fault, really telling him is a bad idea, but just try to forget about it, and move on, its not a big deal, everyone gets drunk and horny at some point, and everyone ***** something they shouldnt at some point, just try to forget, and if it is really bothering you after a while, then maybe you should tell him, and explain everything and see what he thinks
2006-09-14 16:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
always the drunk cheat eh...why tell him i bet he did the same thing while away from u so why tell him...ur human and things dont just happen they happen bc we choose to do them..whether its right or wrong we choose to do them..just learn from it
2006-09-14 16:40:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a few years, then tell him after he falls asleep.
This happens more often than you think. Make it your own little secret. You made a mistake. Welcome to the human race.
2006-09-14 16:44:58 · answer #10 · answered by brian k 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋