Help child with possible oppistional Defiance Disorder?

Question

Anyone have a child with this and if so can you give me any ideas on how to deal with it? Serious answers only please

For all of you saying he is brat etc, until you walk a mile in my shoes do not judge me. Have you dealt with a child like this I am a strict parent and it has never changed its only got worse. I thank you all that have gave me serious answers and have no judged me, You are right this is a very tough time , he has gotten violent with us all at home threaten to kill us , kill the pets.

Answer 1

I would suggest finding an occupational/physical therapist who is versed in ODD for a Sensory Integration evaluation.

Have you read the Out of Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz -- see if you can get it at the library and look it over. See if any of the symptoms/behaviors are what your child exhibits.

My son has mild Sensory Integration Disorder -- and I just found out about it in the past year (he is almost 7, I found out right before he turned 6). It was much worse when he was younger and we'd fight for things like refusing to take a bath -- thing was, he had sensory issues about bath/water I didn't know about. I played "you have to" -- we'd struggle sometimes, mightedly. Our power struggles were sometimes huge -- but always ended on a positive note, but they were consistant through his 2s and 3s and in other ways, for other things even to this day, though I deal with them much differently.

For example, I learned for transitions to use a signal (a timer) -- though I didn't do it ALL of the time, (real life isn't really like that) -- and I read a lot of books about SI. He is also going to OT/PT for mild muscle tone issues, as well as to help his body learn to work together (sensory integration). I strongly recommend asking your physician or if he has a therapist , him/her about OT/PT possibilities -- or ask to do a Sensory Intergration Evaluation (which is mainly a questionnaire for the parent at first. This is not to say that Sensory Integration DIsorder is what your child has, but that often SID is a part of other disorders, and any extra information can help you as you plan how to best help your child.

Consitancy is the key with children who seem to have only "stop" and "go" -- no middle ground. 123 magic worked for us when he was little. But only *I* used it consistantly, my in-laws, who were watching him during the day, bribed him out of negative behaviors, and his papa wasn't so sure on how to use it. The way to use it is rules discussed beforehand -- only "stop" behaviors are counted (not homework, pickup your mess, do the dishes... -- just things like talking back, whining, throwing, hitting, etc. anything that should be a "stop"). I tend to talk to much --and this is a strategy that takes *all* emotion from the situation -- and I highly recommend the video so all caregivers can watch it one night and discuss how to best implement it .... it's best to have everyone on the same page. I merely have to quietly say "one" sometimes in order for him to monitor himself.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

I have a 14 yo with ODD like symptoms. It will drain you completely dry, and leave you feeling like your soul has been turned inside out.

Staying calm and not reacting is the only thing that works. If you can identify the trigger(s), then try and see them coming.

If your kid is still young, then you almost have to grieve for the loss of the sweet, loveable child you once knew. Life will be impacted by this, you have to be careful not to let it control things.

Check out some of the latest books, it depends on the age to some degree (ODD on amazon.com).

Find coping mechanisms for yourself. Keep a journal. Check out yahoo Groups for a support network.

If you find yourself asking "why me" and "why my child" -- that's normal. but there is no answer.

Divorce rate is much higher than the average for families with ODD children. IT's a huge strain on a marriage.

Good luck, and it wasn't anything you did or caused. It just is.

Answer 3

Yet another person who is looking for excuses as to why their child is acting like a spoiled kid. You know, not too long ago when many of us were children we didn't live off drugs and in the psychiatrist's office. We had parents who actually raised us, do you remember that? Every child has a problem, they are growing up. Today people are afraid to do anything to discipline their child, there is a reason this child is acting this way. They have a "mental" problem, they have a "disorder", they need medications to survive. When will you all wake up, grow up, and take ownership of your situation. Show the child who is BOSS. Take their power away from them and stop trying to reason with a child. Dear god, we have been so brainwashed that we can't even raise our own children without trying to over analyze everything that happens. We are on the verge of taking our children's generation and making them the first totally chemically dependent generation. Instead of raising them we are labeling them: ADD, ADHD, Problem child, ODD, and the list goes on.

Please for your child's sake look into some of these so called diseases. Look at the symptoms of some of them they are symptoms of most normal children, except for one thing-- WE'VE LABELED THESE POOR CHILDREN.

Answer 4

Oh boy do I know about ODD! My sweet child has ODD with
ADHD tendencies. She sure was a handful when she was little.
We took her to get counseling. Meds won't touch ODD.
She is 15 now and as far as I am concerned she has outgrown
the ODD. Now I just call it being a teen. Counseling will help immensely. I speak from experience. Good luck.

Answer 5

This is a very serious answer. It sounds to me (based on the definition of the "Disorder" that you are another parent who has very little or no control over your child. And that you have found yet another doctor to label your child as having a disorder. I am not trying to be rude but I am a 35 year old, college educated, mother of 4 year old twins. My husband and I rarely spank but I can tell you what the best way to deal with the "disorder" is....it's called a good ole fashion butt beatin. I'm not talking about torturing the child. I'm just saying if more parents would discipline and less doctors would stop being so eager to throw meds down every bratty acting child's throat then every other child you know wouldn't have a "disorder". I don't know how old you are but if you are any older than Generation X or as I refer to it as "The Time Out" generation I can about guarantee that children you knew were spanked and that there were a hell of a lot less children with "disorders". If children are defying against anything that they are opposed to, i.e. their refusal to comply with adult requests and rules, or being often touchy or easily annoyed by others that is called being a child and it is a parents JOB to deal with this situation in a grown up manner. Not stick the kid on drugs and label him. That is just a cop out for parents who are too lazy to tell their own child NO. And to let the child know who is boss. It is a lot easier to label someone than it is to take responsibility for their ongoing bad behavior. No one ever said being a parent is easy. So for all of you who have children with a "disorder" step up to the plate and do your job. Stop trying to sedate these kids with drugs. P.S. the name of this "disorder" is actually called Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Please know what you're talking about next time you try to label your child. Or better yet, stop trying to look for a label and start being a good parent.....deal with it. Asker: trust me both of my boys have acted like pure heathens at times. You have to consistently deal with it. If you think your child is difficult, try raising more than one going through the same behavior at the same time. Believe me I have dealt with it. I still deal with it on a daily basis. And I have yet to resort to labeling them as having a disorder or shoving drugs down their little throats.

Answer 6

Has anyone ever noticed that everything is a disorder. The kids is a brat so obviously he must have a disorder. Or he is ADD. Even adults now have disorders for every little quirk. I find it ridiculous.

Answer 7

http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children+with+Oppositional+Defiant+Disorder§ion=Facts+for+Families

or try

http://addadhdadvances.com/ODD.html

hope this helps