How does God answer so many prayers at once? I mean? Is he like Santa Claus or something? Does he have helpers?
LOL
2006-09-14 15:32:26 · 20 answers · asked by Whatever 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I don't believe in either one of these guys... but maybe we should throw around the idea of god on a soda can. BINGO! Someone's gettin' rich off that idea... way to go! lol
2006-09-14 15:39:38 · update #1
Yes, good eye, my friend down there. This is my favorite section. I enjoy reading all of your answers regarding religion. Is that so wrong?
2006-09-14 15:59:39 · update #2
He gets hints from the Easter Bunny.
2006-09-14 15:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by Kathryn™ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He subcontracted prayer fullfillment to Haliburton. Cheney gets a commission.
********************
A Christmas Eve, long ago, and Santa is pissed. The elves have all bugged out and left him to pack up all the toys by himself. Cursing under his breath, he slings the huge sack into the back of his sleigh.
But, the elves haven't been keeping up with their maintenance chores. The bag crashes through the bottom of the sleigh, spilling toys everywhere. The reindeer get spooked, panic and run off, dragging the shattered remains of the sleigh behind them.
Now, Santa is REALLY honked off. "Screw Christmas", he says. "I need a drink". He stomps back into his workshop and slings open the door to the liquor cabinet. It's empty. The elves have drunk all the booze. Santa gets even MORE steamed.
Just then, there's a gentle knock at the door. Santa angrily jerks the door open... and there stands a beautiful angel, dressed in glorious white robes, with lustrous golden hair and great ****... her flawless skin softly illuminated by the glow from her halo. She is absolutely the most gorgeous being that Santa has ever seen... and she is holding the most beautiful and perfectly formed Christmas tree that has ever existed.
She speaks... with a harsh Brooklyn accent: "Hey, Fat Boy... where do you want to stick this f**kin' tree?
And that's how the angel ended up on top of the Christmas Tree.
2006-09-14 15:49:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no santa grew to become right into a authentic person saint nick he helped some unfavorable familys at christmas or somthing it merely have been given replaced by the years christians belive that god created evorything and is all powerfull not someone who ever lived they reprosent compleatly diverse issues
2016-12-15 08:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by yakel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JellyBean,that was about the way I used to think,Fairy tales and comic books. Then I had a spiritual awakening,Now I see with single "Vision", the unity of GOD in all things,YES it is mind blowing. TRY IT YOU'LL LOVE IT.
2006-09-14 16:12:01 · answer #4 · answered by Weldon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is kind of deep but here's a thought.....
Not only is god all powerful, he is eternal. If we can agree on that, and then if you really think about it, time is irrelevant to God. "All powerful", then he is not held to the laws of time, at least not our laws. "He is eternal", he has an eternity to be with and follow each one of us and listen to us. I know it's a little weird but makes sense. Of course this is all assuming he is one person, and not necessarily "everywhere" at once. Then again, maybe he is in his own time.
2006-09-14 15:35:25 · answer #5 · answered by Coool 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God is all powerful and omnipotent. He knows all, including that this is the 3rd question from someone who supposedly does not believe in him, in the religious and spirituality section.
2006-09-14 15:55:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The difference is that God is real.Santa exists only on Coca Cola cans around the holidays.
2006-09-14 15:37:04 · answer #7 · answered by John G 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What kind of question is this, why don't you read the Bible and find out for your self. OH and there's no Santa Claus.
2006-09-14 15:40:28 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is a man who lives at the North Pole.
He lives there with his wife and a bunch of elves.
During the year, he and the elves build toys.
Then, on Christmas Eve, he loads up a sack with all the toys.
He puts the sack in his sleigh.
He hitches up eight (or possibly nine) flying reindeer.
He then flies from house to house, landing on the rooftops of each one.
He gets out with his sack and climbs down the chimney.
He leaves toys for the children of the household.
He climbs back up the chimney, gets back in his sleigh, and flies to the next house.
He does this all around the world in one night.
Then he flies back to the North Pole to repeat the cycle next year.
This, of course, is the story of Santa Claus.
But let's say that I am an adult, and I am your friend, and I reveal to you that I believe that this story is true. I believe it with all my heart. And I try to talk about it with you and convert you to believe it as I do.
What would you think of me? You would think that I am delusional, and rightly so.
Why do you think that I am delusional? It is because you know that Santa is imaginary. The story is a total fairy tale. No matter how much I talk to you about Santa, you are not going to believe that Santa is real. Flying reindeer, for example, are make-believe. The dictionary defines delusion as, "A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence." That definition fits perfectly.
Since you are my friend, you might try to help me realize that my belief in Santa is a delusion. The way that you would try to do that is by asking me some questions. For example, you might say to me:
"But how can the sleigh carry enough toys for everyone in the world?" I say to you that the sleigh is magical. It has the ability to do this intrinsically.
"How does Santa get into houses and apartments that don't have chimneys?" I say that Santa can make chimneys appear, as shown to all of us in the movie The Santa Clause.
"How does Santa get down the chimney if there's a fire in the fireplace?" I say that Santa has a special flame-resistant suit, and it cleans itself too.
"Why doesn't the security system detect Santa?" Santa is invisible to security systems.
"How can Santa travel fast enough to visit every child in one night?" Santa is timeless.
"How can Santa know whether every child has been bad or good?" Santa is omniscient.
"Why are the toys distributed so unevenly? Why does Santa deliver more toys to rich kids, even if they are bad, than he ever gives to poor kids?" There is no way for us to understand the mysteries of Santa because we are mere mortals, but Santa has his reasons. For example, perhaps poor children would be unable to handle a flood of expensive electronic toys. How would they afford the batteries? So Santa spares them this burden.
These are all quite logical questions that you have asked. I have answered all of them for you. I am wondering why you can't see what I see, and you are wondering how I can be so insane.
Why didn't my answers satisfy you? Why do you still know that I am delusional? It is because my answers have done nothing but confirm your assessment. My answers are ridiculous. In order to answer your questions, I invented, completely out of thin air, a magical sleigh, a magical self-cleaning suit, magical chimneys, "timelessness" and magical invisibility. You don't believe my answers because you know that I am making this stuff up. The invalidating evidence is voluminous.
2006-09-14 15:43:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
you can't compare the Creator with His creations. i don't believe that man was created in the image of God. God Almighty is The God for God's sake! He can do anything He wishes! God needs no help! if He needs help, then we'll be in deep trouble!!!
2006-09-14 15:46:56 · answer #10 · answered by immortal1983 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋