Last weekend I took my new 54 year old boyfriend to a family birthday party and their was a 22 year old girl that was wearing a very sexy black lace and red neglihee type shirt. I could not believe my boyfriend. His eyeballs practically fell out of his head. He did not take his eyes off this girl the entire afternoon. I moved my chair away and was hurt and embarrassed in front of my family. Here I am going to show off this new guy after not dating for 7 years and he acts like a pervert!!!! Later he said he thought she was a beautiful girl and he had not had sex for 6 months. How can I trust a guy that would be so uncaring of my feelings? I can just imagine how he acts when I am not there. Would you give him a chance? I need feedback to help me decide if anyone else has gone through this? Is it normal to feel inferior and jealous when this happens? How would you handle it? Any ideas?
2006-09-14 15:11:31 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i wouldn't trust him, if he was truly gawking and admits, i don't even believe he went that long without it. he should have restraint after that age. he has a sex issue and it isn't your problem. leave him go on, be happy, meet somebody of your caliber, he has issues!!!! God bless!
2006-09-14 15:16:00 · answer #1 · answered by beaniefufer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So... you're saying that if you went somewhere with your boyfriend and saw an incredibly attractive guy wearing something extremely sexy, you wouldn't even take a glance his way? If you can honestly say you NEVER look at other attractive people, then fine. Dump this guy because you'll never be satisfied with his human nature. Sounds to me like this is more of a case of needing a little more self esteem so that you don't feel threatened by sexy 22 year olds in skimpy outfits. Also --- HELLO? He's 54 -- what old guy wouldn't gawk at a 22 year old wearing practically nothing??? For that matter, I bet most women would gawk too!
2006-09-14 15:16:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man I say him looking at a hot 22 year old in sexy clothes just proves he is still breathing. Now be real he is 54 yrs do you really think he has a chance with a 22 yr old (he would go broke trying to please her)? Yes he was a little insensitive to stare in front of you. However, face women all men is gonna look unless they are gay. I'm married and I look but I don't TOUCH.
2006-09-14 15:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is normal too look at an attractive girl or guy, but to sit and stare blatantly all day is rude and disgusting. And if he can't control that, you should wonder how he acts when you're not there. So, I guess you need to ask yourself if it was a one time thing and if not, then ask yourself if that's how you want to be made to feel. Like I said , looking is normal and you shouldn't feel jealous, outright uncontrollable staring is another thing all together and i would feel very insulted if it was done to me. Good Luck!
2006-09-14 15:19:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I think it is normal for a guy to look at girls, but ogling at them all night is rude. Second of all, it's normal to feel somewhat jealous but make sure you are not overreacting (if you have some self-esteem problems, as many, many people do, you might let yourself think he was staring at her all night long when really he was paying attention to her or maybe didn't look at her that much). However, he's your boyfriend and you are perfectly right to have certain standards. If you do not wish to date some one who stares appreciatively at other women constantly and at inappropriate times (not to mention he failed to reassure you and instead defended himself by saying he hadn't had sex in a while which, in my opinion, is not an excuse) then you should not date someone who does so. This is not an unreasonable standard, and I believe that any boyfriend who is respectful of his girlfriend and a mature person (at 54 he shouldn't be acting like a pubescent boy) would not behave in such a manner, or would apologize for his lack of self-control and make an effort from that point on.
My final judgment.. you should probably dump him.
In addition, to the other posters... Glancing is different from staring all night. There've gotta be some limits. :P
2006-09-14 15:16:47 · answer #5 · answered by Jesika 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, guys do tend to be incosiderate alot of times.
option 1 - best advice i can give you is you may let him know that staring or 'perving' at other girls is something you dont like. you get to express your feelings aout it.
option 2 - if it is just looking and he seems trsutworthy enough not to do any more than just look. consider it harmelss. its just looking. if hes is aproaching the girl then that would be crossing the line. just set him strait and say 'do that again and its the high way for you.'
option 3 - you can turn it into something that stops you feeling jealsous and inferior by turing it into a game. everytime he does it. you do it too.
2006-09-14 16:17:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honestly any straight man will always look but usually will have compassion for the person that they are with not to make it an obvious thing. You need to make the decision yourself but remember that you do not need to be with anyone who will make you feel bad about yourself, we as woman do that quite well on our own. There are alot of fantastic men out there just waiting to be found, you just have to dig deep, and promise yourself that you will not ever settle because there is not enough time on this earth as it is, why be unhappy. Good luck I hope you make the deciaion that will make you happy!!!!!!
2006-09-14 15:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by way_random 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that is ridiculus that he would act that way when meeting other people that are important to you. he should show a lot more respect to you. it is reasonable for you to feel humiliated in from of your family and to feel hurt, what he's done is wrong. i don't think he is worth it, not having had sex for 6 monthes is no excuse to act like a pervert when being introduced to a partners family. he's not worth it.
i wish you all the best
2006-09-14 15:16:25 · answer #8 · answered by vincent_morfin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All he was doing was just looking and ya I am sure it hurt cause of the fact it was with your family deal, but try and not let it get to you.. I am sure you look at other men when he is with you and he is going to look at women.
2006-09-14 15:19:14 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Daisy_Duke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are going to act like dogs sometime but then again at his age he should not look at very young girls like that also give him a second chance
2006-09-14 15:22:02 · answer #10 · answered by Takethia S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋