Normally, its a mother that complains about the childs father not being around. This is the opposite. My stepson rarely sees his mother...she claims that (at 6 years old) he said he wanted to live with his father. Now, I'm no child psychologist, but I'm not sure that was the truth. She was toooooo willing to let him. She tried that same thing at age 3. Now, at that age there is no way that he could have said that, let alone meant it. Hubby still kisses her butt and she pays no support...nvr has. She lives out of state,(which is no excuse...she rarely even calls on the phone) which I am glad, because I am afraid I would have to tell her a thing or two. Hubby won't try to get full custody for fear of "rocking the boat". I just want to push her overboard!!!Help
2006-09-14 13:52:12 · 4 answers · asked by lilgal22 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Your husband may have reasoning for not wanting to gain full custody. No matter how hateful someone can be, the child still deserves the right to be with them.
Try and support your husband and let him do what he feels needs to be done. As long as this woman isn't causing problems in your family! Good luck!
2006-09-14 13:55:31 · answer #1 · answered by monroe1172002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some children have their own reasons for wanting to be with one parent or the other. A six year old may be opinionated enough to know that he does not want to be with the mother and wants to be with the father. I have worked with children as a special ed teacher for about twenty-five years. I have heard some astonishing statements from children of this age. You really have to sit this one out, you are not the custodial parent, although you are a major part of the child's life; your husband has to be the one to approach the subject of full custody with his ex and with the courts. You can voice your opinion and support his decisions, but the whole custody discussion and decision has to be between the two parents. You do not want to be really telling her a thing or two; it will not help either your stepson or your husband. I am a stepmom also, and had to be very careful of staying out of a lot that went on years ago with the dynamics involving the biological mother of the children. I had other people who had been a step-parent prior to my marriage gave me the advice to butt out; so to speak. My husband and I discussed every other thing involving the children, but when their mom was involved, I stayed out of it; unless I was asked for input. My kids are now grown adults with families of their own, and we have a wonderful relationship, and a lot of it is because I stayed out of that part of the dynamic. Unless you can sit down with your husband and be encouraging about the whole custody situation, without being demanding; please stay out of it. It is difficult enough for a child to be caught in the middle of a divorce and remarriage, no matter how positive the outcome may be. Good luck and enjoy having the child in your life as much as possible; you can be a really big influence on his life which is beyond wonderful. Have a good night!
2006-09-14 21:31:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! We are in similar situations. Only I have 3 step kids. They never see or hear from their mother either. They've been living with us for almost two years. Their mother has only called a few times. She doesnt call on their birthdays, christmas, or any holidays. The kids were taken away from her, but she was still allowed to have supervised visits which she never took advantage of. I actually did tell her what I thought (which was not at all nice). She's never paid support either. Tell your husband to get the custody - she's abandoned him. And good luck raising your new son.
2006-09-14 21:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by missie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby needs to grow some. He needs full custody. She has abandoned her child. Time for the child to have a real stable family.
2006-09-14 20:56:57 · answer #4 · answered by just browsin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋