My recent ex-husband has made 2 child support payments (both late) and now doesn't have the money to pay because he is out of a job. I know the economy in MI is not great but he could go flip burgers or something. If I lost my job should I just stop feeding and clothing my kid. Should I not let my kid go to my ex's. On the other hand it isn't fair to punish my kid for his fathers mistake. But does he have money for food and other things while he is at his house.
2006-09-14 13:18:07 · 23 answers · asked by michigangirl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
take his *** to court silly
2006-09-14 15:04:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ray_Ray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Michigang
I live in Michigan too and there's work available, despite the bad economy.
You're right - you can't ever stop taking care of your children as your ex can.
The fact is men love their children, but the situation is different for them. If you compare all the standards that are different, you'll go crazy.
If he wants to see his kids, let him see his kids!!
The price your children will pay by being scarred from a horrible and inconsistent relationship with their dad is way more than any child support amount. I doubt it's worth that much to you.
It's real simple - money is an issue between you and him about the kids. His time with the children has nothing to do with you or the money he owes you. Keep the issues separate.
As most other people said, see friend of the court about the legal issues - deal with him that way. Also you 2 need to talk (if it's possible) and not argue and point fingers. Take care of your kids the best way you can in the meantime. This is life. You can't sit and wait for him to do what we all know he should do. You need to focus on the objective and just get it done. You'll be proud of your achievements and your children will forever love and respect you for it. Everything happens for a reason.
Good luck with that!
2006-09-14 15:05:33 · answer #2 · answered by nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to court. Seriously. There are ways that a judge can require your ex to maintain a job no matter what and even automatically deduct the child support from his bank acct and send a check directly to you. Of course there is a legal process involved to accomplish that but it might be necessary, some people just can't handle certain responsibilities. Look out for your kid's physical well being first. You can heal emotions but if your kid isn't getting taken care of properly when at it's father's you have every right to step in, legally if necessary. All you have to do is be honest with your child and express your concern for their safety without bad mouthing it's father, because when things get personal a kid gets overwhelmed. This is coming from a child of divorced parents. Be honest but try not to say anything that could make your kid feel like they have to choose sides with one parent, that's a really hard thing to deal with when you're young, and eventually they might end up totally rejecting one of you because that's just an easier way to deal with it.
Good luck...just be mature about it and logical, in my opinion that's the best thing you can do. Make sure you're doing it for your kid and not yourself. Be really honest with yourself and what you feel is important.
2006-09-14 13:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Sager 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Child Support and visitation are NOT hand in hand. However, if he is unable or unwilling to live up to his responsibility, you should go to the local child support assistance division of your court. He needs to know the rules and laws if he is a responsible parent.
Be sure the amount received is NOT out of evil vindictive anger. . They will resent you. Be careful of the reason behind child support and remember it is all about the kids. Things have changed and the courts see through it all, but it takes a huge toll on the kids. I have mine now and she doesn't pay a dime; despite the orders. I love my kids and can take care of them as well as I always have.
2006-09-14 16:40:57 · answer #4 · answered by wham_dummy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would speak to your county dcfs - they will be able to direct you in the right direction for your state. I know that here in WI, my sister's ex was ordered by a judge to get a job ASAP and keep that job or he would be in jail for contempt of court as well as failure to pay child support. States get really testy with people not paying their child support, because it will eventually fall on their shoulders because if the custodial parent doesn't have the money to support the family as it is, they will end up on public assistance.
2006-09-14 13:53:01 · answer #5 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apply for a childsupport court order and let the State deal with it. If you apply through the deparment of child support services it will not cost you anything. The DCCS will pay the court costs .They will get him into their office and work with him. If he doesn't work with them, he will be taken to court and a judge will then work with him. If he fails to comply he will probably face jail time. In the mean time enjoyr your children, and don't worrie about it once its in the states hands. I know its hard, we need to money to help. But its the best way to go about it, and the state keeps track of every cent he has paid and every cent he owes.
This is NOT a welfare service.
2006-09-14 13:35:45 · answer #6 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think that you should not let your kids go to over to his house or wherever he is staying. And since both paymenbts were late, you cant do anything about that, But what you can do something about is since he has stopped paying it. Take it to court. The judge will have to find a way to make him pay. Or they give you something to cope woth becasue you need that money to help you with your kids. Im only a teenager and I know that.
2006-09-14 13:20:48 · answer #7 · answered by jigglet92 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hate child support personally. I believe in joint custody with no child support. I dont beleive in taking it to court but if you got to do what you got to do then do it or get a second job hun to help support the little one. I know it wont be easy. Some men are dead beat dads and will never be more then that. My new boyfriend is paying child support on his two older boys ages 9 and 13 and it is breaking us in two but we do it. Go to social services and see what they can do and threaten him about taking him back into court. That may make him change. Otherwise he will loose his license and end up in jail if he still refuses to pay. I am a firm believe thinking that both parents are equally responsible for the child or children though I just think men do tend to get screwed with the whole child support thing. Why dont women have to pay? Both parents made the decision to have sex and get pregnant not just one. Do what you feel in your heart is right.
2006-09-14 13:27:53 · answer #8 · answered by plaster_employment 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Depending on how long it has been, you need to contact Child Support Systems, let them handle it for a few months. If nothing is done about it then, go to the county police and see if they can track him down. You will then need to take him to court and if he still does not pay, he will go to jail, (not like him being in jail will help you).
2006-09-14 14:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by pits_me1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its illegal and you can call the cops and get a thing by the state to order him to pay you child support and if he stopped you just tell the state and he would have to pay double that or something like that.
2006-09-14 13:44:14 · answer #10 · answered by ~Silly Carrie~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get welfare until he is back to work and then the state will make him pay. When he IS back to work take him back to court and have his wages garnished and then you don't have to worry about it being late either. If he is getting unemployment he should be giving you money from that, even if he is not making what he did while working.
2006-09-14 13:42:21 · answer #11 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋