I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year and I love her with all of my heart. I asked her if she was ready for sex and she said no and I respect that. But it kind of hurts me. Does she not trust me, or want me to be the one? Its not like i'm "taking" her virginity, I am a virgin too, and I want it to be shared, and I want her to be the one because I have so many strong feelings towards her. Should I talk to her about it and tell her how much it means to me? or just wait?
p.s.
I am 18, she is 19.
2006-09-14 12:28:05 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she is not religious. And she teases me a lot :( Why does she do that?
2006-09-14 12:31:47 · update #1
maybe she wants to wait till marriage is she religious at all??
2006-09-14 12:30:01 · answer #1 · answered by khghjhghu 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
SHOULD you be hurt?! you are or you aren't hurt...This question makes me wonder if YOU are ready...Having sex just because YOU think its time and she is the one ....She is the one who stands to get pregnant( condoms break Passion explodes...) Why don't you ask HER these questions ? If you have been dating over a year you know each other well...don't you? It appears that your own insecurity is the star of this scene . I have a feeling she feels/sees this too and wants to wait . Hormones are so controlling... it is not easy to stay in controll...some say it is more difficult 4 guys...Think this through... you say I am a virgin 2. and I want this to be shared Please ask HER what she wants and If you do love her you will respect her wishes in this . stop looking in the mirror so much & look at her...Wait! She teases you? either one of you sounds grown up in any way to do this ...
2006-09-14 19:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by red heads ha! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are her reasons for wanting to wait? Is it for religious reasons or does she just want to wait until she's married? Either way you should respect her decision. Sex is nothing to take lightly, though the society we live in today would have you believe that. It can really complicate things: mentally, physically, and emotionally. She sounds like a good girl. Not too many virtuous people left out here.
2006-09-14 19:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by Confuscious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend is right to wait for a committment longer than a year. How about waiting until you consider yourself old enough to marry? She is not ready. If you love her, and respect her, don't pressure her or feel hurt. Giving yourself to another person is a gift. No one has a "right" to such a gift except married people, religious or not.
2006-09-14 19:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well at least that indicates you that you have a smart, well determined gf, and now a days its hard to find girls like that.
when i was in hs, i went through the same thing, had a hs sweetheart, i was 18, he was 17. we lasted for about a year no more and the same issue you are going through came upon us and the same thing as it is happening to your gf happened to me. i said no. the only difference was, he was a horny bastard...i blame it more to his step father since i recall he use to bring home porno mags in which his step son (my x bf) ended up peeking....so that was pretty uneasy. he was also a virgin as i was, so in a way he was hornier than ever...as i said, a horny bastard...six months later after we broke up (and the reason we broke up was because of this, he couldnt handle the pressure) he got another girl pregnant. it was a shock to me, but true and teh best thing of it all was that i kept my virginity....i could have said, 'ok fine! lets do it whatever...' and later on either way broken up and what? hearing afterwards he got this other girl pregnant?? it would have made me feel to so incredibly stupid to waste on a guy so ignorant....
..but as the true story falls...i didnt... :) and i ended up as the happy camper...
so my moral of the story:
dont pressure your gf; be as understanding to her as you possbly can; when she sees that YOU are being extremly understanding aobut it, she will give you more respect and realize 'dude i have a really really cool bf!!' and with in the next 6 months after you tell her this, she will be happy to do it with you. at least thats how i think a natural girl woudl react, from my personal experiences.
good luck!
oh and answering your question: should you be hurt? No you shouldnt, you should be comprehensible and understanding and in fact PROUD of having a real wise gf who knows what she is doing.
2006-09-14 19:40:21 · answer #5 · answered by sueet2b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its very respectful for you to wait. both of you being virgins will help in that area. wait till she's ready, look at it this way. at least you dont know what you're missing.
2006-09-14 19:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by gesswh0 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For her you can wait for next 12 years just to grow up and find the answer.
2006-09-14 19:33:58 · answer #7 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should take your time with her.
Some girls are offended when you ask them that, you should Wait for her to come to you.
Maybe shes not really that attracted to you and give her a bit more time for her to think about it.
Don't ask her 2 times it pisses people off then she will think your a freaky pervert.
Advice from a Lady (of course)
2006-09-14 19:38:34 · answer #8 · answered by That girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if shes said no and you "respect" that,then leave it alone!
she will feel pressured if you keep talking to her about it.
if you want to share it,you will have to wait until and if shes ready!
if you cant wait,then leave her,dont make her feel guilty or sad that she cant do that yet!,even though it would be unententional on your part,shed feel hurt
2006-09-14 19:31:04 · answer #9 · answered by adc7492 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she doesn't want 2 do it with U cause you're younger, but tell her how U feel anyway
P.S. I don't think she's a virgin
2006-09-14 19:35:05 · answer #10 · answered by ralph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you are both comfortable together! Remember you only lose your virginity once.
2006-09-14 19:30:00 · answer #11 · answered by Dorothy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋