They moved in with us, and we watch the babies all the time, my mom says she is sick of it, and they don't seem to want to move out anytime soon. I kinda want them to move out, but I don't want us to seem pushy. They are 17 and 18, and they could just move in with my cousins dad, but chose not to. What do I do? I don't want us to become the enemy.
2006-09-14 12:19:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If they have somewhere else to go then she should make them go. Tell them that they need to assume responsibility for their own child or find alternative childcare.
2006-09-14 12:22:26 · answer #1 · answered by AVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom has a right to choose who remains in her household. Your cousin and his g/f are Parents Too Soon. There is an organization of that name that they should seek out for guidance and parenting skills. Sounds like they are not ready for the challenge of parenting. If there are two of them together, they should have worked out a schedule to care for their babies that would not have burdened the household. That is the problem with becoming a parent too soon. They still want their freedom, but that is past now.
Ask mom if you can still help with sitting from time to time. Keep communication open with your cousin and don't you make mom the enemy either to stay on their good side. She has a right to care for the children she brought into the world without additional stress and encumberance of a new set of children to raise.
Good luck.
2006-09-14 19:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They chose to have those kids, so they've gotta figure out a way to get their own place. That may sound harsh, but they've got a family now. Your mom was polite enough to accept them for awhile but now it's time they try to find their own place. If I were in their shoes, I'd be saving up every penny for a nice apartment or something. Are your cousin and his girlfriend doing this? If not, they need to.
They need to move in with somebody who won't mind having them for a few months and your cousin and his girlfriend need to get married and work to save up some money.
As for you, you and your mom need to explain to them how y'all feel. Be nice about it-but firm. Don't worry about y'all becoming an enemy. They need to be grateful for your mother. If they get mad then that's their problem. NOT your's.
2006-09-14 20:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by sweetdollツ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it was nice of your mom for letting them move in but I don't think she realized that they were going to be there forever. Do they offer any financial help? Your mom needs to sit down and have a talk with them and tell them that they need to find another place to live or they never will. If they get mad about it they'll get over it.
2006-09-14 19:29:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lipstick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this kind of thing happpens all the time with my family.. what i suggest is that you sit down with them and have a serious conversation with them.. remeber that you and your mother are not there to be the bad guys.. talk to them in the most honest and nicest way possible...tell that you guys were gladly to accept them in your home but that you guys think its time to move on.... so they won't feel bad, you could probably tell them that you will help them look for a job or an apartmnt ( but not to pay for).. tell them that since they have a kid that you guys think its time to move on, on your on own.. to a better environment... tell them that you love them, but that everyone needs there own space.............just remeber to think before you say anything.. they have a kid and they could start a new family/life of their own.. they had the responsibility of having a baby,then they shoulod have the responsibilities of living on their own.. many other young parents could do it , so they can do it as well... take care and good luck
2006-09-14 20:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time that they took responsibility for themselves and moved into their own home. They cannot expect that your mother is going to cheerfully open up your home indefinitely AND raise their children for them.
How selfish and self-centered can 2 people be?
If they don't want to take care of their own children, then they shouldn't have had them. They must be pretty young and there are a TON of willing families/couples that would love to adopt and ARE WILLING AND ABLE to raise them properly and with love.
They need to understand that if they want to play house, they need to start growing up and not taking advantage of their family like this.
2006-09-14 19:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is right. Not that you should throw them on the street, but if they are old enough to have kids then they are old enough to take care of themselves, get a job, their own place, and take care of their responsibilities. Can you talk to your uncle to get him to talk to them about being responible? You and your family need to tell them in a kind way that they need to find another place to live. Give them 30 days. Or charge them rent.
2006-09-14 19:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by mamba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell to the no; these young new parents decided they wanted to be adults, so they need to start acting like adult.s I don't blame your poor mother one little bit. They would have to go, they can bring the twin over once in awhile and you guys can still watch them. But they need to start acting like grown up, they already have grown up responsibility.
2006-09-14 19:41:48 · answer #8 · answered by Ellen J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i actually think that is pretty bad! this is what u do, u talk to them and tell them that they have to start pulling their own wait. if they want to continue living like they do than they must watch their own babies, do their own laundry, help make dinner, take out trash wash dishes. stuff like that. if they refuse to, than u have no choice but to make them move out
2006-09-14 19:25:13 · answer #9 · answered by 2Cute2bTrue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your place to ask them to move on, it's your mother's. If she chooses to let them stay, that is up to her. You do not have to take care of their babies though, so feel free to refuse.
2006-09-14 19:23:45 · answer #10 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋