My boyfriend and ! have been together a little over a year and we have a great relationship..we see each other almost every day and hes very close with my family..I have no reason to break up with him, however, I have a trust issue with him going away. He's offered for me to come with him but that's not an option. He says he'll pay for me to come visit him also...I feel that he may cheat whether we remain together or not. I feel this is a time where we should decide if we really love each other or not and if we are meant for each other we'll remain in contact and stay together when he comes back. However, I do not want to be waiting around while he's "soiling his royal oats" to come back to me. I don't trust the situation and I'd rather us take a break so that it can be accepted for both of us to equally do whatever we please instead of just him.
When I suggested this he got upset and didn't want it. What should I do?
2006-09-14 11:45:04 · 15 answers · asked by LONG ISLAND GIRL 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Should I enforce it anyways and hurt him but shield myself or will I be pushing him out the door by doing this? I don't want to be sitting at home crying because he's not picking up his phone or I can't get ahold of him. I also don't want to have to catch him in an act so I'd rather just let the situation be loose for my and our relationships sake.
In the beginning of our relationship..the first month..he "made out", maybe even more, with some girl from school on a school trip. He was away for three days and called me every night and spoke to me for hours on the phone. Meanwhile, he was f-ing around on me. So he sure tricked me good on this trip. He promised to make the relationship better and he did..he also said he'd never take another trip and he didn't..but now he's obligated to go..and I can't trust him..our relationship is really good and there hasn't been any cheating since but that doesn't mean there won't be again.
2006-09-14 11:45:55 · update #1
UH SUPERMAGINGO??
WTF R U TALKING ABOUT???
2006-09-14 11:55:35 · update #2
It sounds like you have your mind made up in the matter. You dont trust the guy and I believe you should not be with someone that you cant trust. He cheated before and you have not been able to forgive him for that. If you brake up with him or not you are going to be thinking about him. If you brake up with him you are giving him the opportunity to fool around. If you dont brake up with him you are still going to be thinking he is. Either way you are not going to be happy. You should try to trust him and I am sure he trusts you.
2006-09-14 11:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by Regio 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your concern, given the previous situation. If you both truly love each other, and you think he really meant what he said about making things better, you should stay together. 2 months is a long time to be away from someone you love, but it's worth it.
I can't personally tell you which is right, because it's your decision to make. The best I can do is offer my opinion, which is that if you think you can trust him, and if you think he's sincere about your relationship, you should stay together.
EDIT: I'd also like to say that I strongly disagree with the first reply to this question. If someone is truly in love, being apart won't automatically mean they'll cheat. Sure, some people do, but that's a repulsive thing to do.
2006-09-14 11:49:19 · answer #2 · answered by cowgba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without trust, you have no relationship.
You stated that he fooled around early in your relationship. How serious were you 2 at the time? Do you truly feel he's changed his ways? Sounds like this is the time to decide. If you don't feel you could ever trust him again, why are you still with him?
If, however, you still want to make a go of it, then 2 months isn't really that long; but you will need to work at the trust issue again.
2006-09-14 12:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a relationship test. I think all women have trust issues...hell men too!!! But it's something in life you have to go through. I would just suggest letting him go, stay together...BUT when you talk on the phone...listen!!! Listen for anything different in his tone or noises in the background. TRY your best to trust him and feel that he is telling the truth but I, personally, am always cautious.
2006-09-14 11:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by Babydoll 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well has he ever lied to you before? That might tell you if he is trust worthy. I mean, does he do it a lot? If you dont really trust him then just go to the hospital or w/e & check if he had sex at all. Surely that will tell you if he did or not. Me & my GF love each other & she is in Japan & I completely trust her but she is in the hospital so you do the math, lol.
2006-09-14 11:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by supermajingogeta4 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
two months is nothing if ur relationship is as good as u say there is nothing to worry about, they say disstance makes the hart go stronger, and befor u know it he will be back if u keep looking at the bad point thats all its gonna be bad
2006-09-14 11:53:35 · answer #6 · answered by lz_owen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no don't wait because there a saying that say if u not with the one u love,love the one u with oh yeah, in other words don't ask don't tell,so u go ahead and do ur thing and don't put ur time on hold,as my grandmother once said its to many fish in the sea to worry about one.
2006-09-14 11:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by woodman 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Long Island LOL
Long Island is like extended Queens
2006-09-14 12:13:44 · answer #8 · answered by midwestbruin 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you have no trust you shouldn't be tgether weather he is leaving town or not. My man s going to wyoming for 2 months and I trust him
2006-09-14 11:47:30 · answer #9 · answered by higginslove3 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'll come and keep you company for a couple of months if you like.
By the way, I prefer you with dark hair x
2006-09-14 11:49:20 · answer #10 · answered by tom 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋