would it be inpolite to ask my real mom why she gave me up?
she was 18 years old,and my real father died before i was born.
do you think i should ask her? what do you think her reason was?
2006-09-14 11:41:19 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
no not at all, it is your right to know dont you think? i think you should ask her if you really want to know, maybe she couldnt take care of you and wanted you to have a good life
2006-09-14 11:43:55 · answer #1 · answered by music*rocks 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It wouldn't be impolite, just make sure she knows you're asking nicely and out of curiosity and stuff. Don't just pop the question up because she might get like sentimental or something. Just ask her to tell you about hre past or your past., and maybe something will happen. Perhaps her reason was that she didn't want to take care of a child on her own (without your dad) or maybe she didnt have enough money at 18 to support a baby.Either way it is your right to know about your past!
2006-09-14 11:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by noname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not at all you have a right to know. I'm sure she had a good reason, don't be hard on her just tell her that you would like to know. She might not of been ready and thought that someone else would be able to provide better for you than she could at that time in her life. I hope all goes well with you.
2006-09-14 12:14:11 · answer #3 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would actually make her feel better you knowing the reasons. Woman do it for many reasons. Giving up a child is the most love any mom can give to a child if she cannot raise them. To be able to part with the most precious gift we can have to let you have the best of everything is the most unselfish act anyone could do. I would say yes.
2006-09-14 11:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have talked to alot of birthmothers and when a girl is that young with no support, she often has to make the very difficult decision and give her baby up for adoption to have a chance at a better life.
2006-09-15 01:38:08 · answer #5 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with asking, but remember that over time as people mature, their reasoning and justification to life changing decisions will change as one realises the outcomes to these choices and how great these choices were, eg. what you choose is best for you may not always be best for those that it affects.
2006-09-14 12:00:56 · answer #6 · answered by lucy4b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she has been waiting to see if you would contact her and has been rehearsing what she might say over and over in her head. She's been waiting to answer the question she knew you'd ask.
Here's really good book I read, it may give you insight on why mothers give their children away, in some cases by legally threatening the mother because adoptive parents were ready to take the child home . . .
"THE GIRLS WHO WENT AWAY THE HIDDEN HISTORY OF WOMEN WHO SURRENDERED CHILDREN for ADOPTION in the DECADES BEFORE ROE v. WADE" written by Ann Fessler in 2006
it's really good!!
2006-09-14 14:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. She will answer by saying: "I wasn't ready to have a child and I wanted what was best for you and realized that I did not have the maturity or capability to provide that to you and as a result, this was the only way I could be assured that you would live a happy life."
2006-09-14 11:44:01 · answer #8 · answered by Tones 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
she probably realized that you would have a better life with people who could give you things she couldn't. I suspect she didn't rally want to give you away, but had no choice but to do so, so you could grow up healthy and safe.
Ask her. it is the real reason you are in touch with her.
2006-09-14 11:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have the right to know, there is so many good and bad reasons but to get a better answer then this ones, ask your mom and try to listen to her and I'm sure she will apologized for wherever reason was.
2006-09-17 20:54:02 · answer #10 · answered by Ana J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
impolite no, but you might not find anything nice or anything u really want to hear either sometimes opening up a sealed box can lead to trouble just prepare for the worst but hope for the best
2006-09-14 11:45:44 · answer #11 · answered by glass_city_hustla 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋