I am a male and i start to feel emotional is this common, i really don't like to see my son cry when it is his bedtime please assist me in trying to find a way he can go to sleep at night without me sleeping with him.
2006-09-14 11:17:21 · 8 answers · asked by Raw M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
my son is now 57 months old.
2006-09-14 11:51:23 · update #1
You need to find out what has made him or is making him insecure and reassure him on that. It may take a while until he understands that you are not going away or whatever.
Of course he knows that his crying affects you and is using it as a powerful tool to make you do what he wants.
2006-09-14 11:22:27 · answer #1 · answered by Owlwings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your son? My son enjoys sleeping with me and my husband each morning after his first feeding but he never complain about sleeping alone at night. My son is only 51/2 months old though...
If your son is old enough to have school problems or even emotional problems (sorry to bring this up, but where is his mother?) you need to get to the bottom of the problem... ask him gently... not directly...
Also, it almost sounds as if your son is afraid to loose you in a way... Try to stay in his room until he sleeps instead. Tell him that you will not leave him until he sleeps and that if he wakes up and feels bad, he can still call you... just reassure him that you are there for him no matter what, but there's nothing wrong with him sleeping alone, that you will still be there in morning...
If this works, then gradually leave the room earlier - some nights you could say that daddy needs to finish a report, but I'll be just next door, etc... leave his room open so he can see the lights and hear you being out there.
I hope this helps!
2006-09-14 18:32:43 · answer #2 · answered by carpenoctrum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to break my daughter of sleeping in the same room with me. We weren't in the same bed, but I slept in a twin bed in her room. Then I was going to get remarried and I figured I'd better get her accustomed to my not being in there before the wedding night. She cried and carried on for a while. Usually they do that because they want their own way and aren't getting it. It does make you feel bad, but it's part of growing up. I showed my daughter where I was sleeping and kept the doors open to our rooms. I made sure she knew I could hear her if she needed me. It's just a combination of reassurance and taking charge of the situation.
2006-09-14 18:29:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You first have to show him there is nothing to be afraid of. Let him see under his bed and the closets. Now my son is 10 and i put a T.V. in his room and he watches the animal planet and falls asleep. He is afraid of the dark but he watchd t.v. and shuts his door at night. You also need to in a gentle way without making him feel like you are deserting him you are his father and you want him to stay in his bed. This will be hard but it can be done. Now if my son gets scared at night he does come to my bed and i let hi sleep with me but it does not happen often.
2006-09-14 18:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, find out why he wants to sleep with you. Is it bad dreams, seperation anxiety, does he only see you weekends or infrequently?
Often, once kids have slept with their parents a lot, they have a hard time in bed on their own because the bed feels so empty. Get a body pillow or good sized stuffed animal. Have him help pick it out and make it clear this is only for sleep time.
Set up a seperate sleeping area in your room. Put his pillow there, and lay with him. Tell him he can stay in your room, with you close by, but that this is his bed. Be prepared for a few nightsof resistance and tears. You can sit next to him, cuddle him, read or sing to him, but do not sleep with him. If you do fall asleep (and he will probably outlast you at least a few times) move to your own bed when you wake up. Keep doing this until a few weeks have passed without any resistance or tears. Praise him every morning for sleeping on his own and never tell him he is being silly or acting like a baby if he cries or resists. Stay calm and give him the time.
Once he has that down pat, take his bed and put it in his room. Make a big deal about the move and then set up a sleeping bag on the floor for you. Tell him that to celebrate how well he is doing you're going to have a sleep over in his room! Make it into something special. Tell him that you can't do this all the time, but that you are happy to spend the night in his room now. The next night, try tucking him in his ownbed. Sit with him,,,read, cuddle, sing but again do not sleep with him. If you tucker out first, be sure to move into your own room once you wake up. If your child comes looking for you during the night, take him back to his bed and again, stay until he falls asleep. In the morning, praise him for sleeping in his bed in his room. Keep it up and usually within a week he'll be sleeping in his own room and bed.
I had to do this with my son and know how tough it is. The hardest part is not giving in...you're tired, you want to go to bed, and it would be so easy to just let him stay with you one more night. But if you do let it go for a night, you'll find yourself back to square one. Try to stay strong,nap as much as you can! In the end you'll both be happy!
2006-09-14 19:23:22 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel, I'm a mother of 2 girls and getting my four year old to bed was a real challenge. A friend told me that my daughter is not going to cry blood and that i need to put her to bed and read a book, then kiss & hug her, and tell her good night and walk out the door, and every time she gets out of bed walk her back don't talk to her just put her back to bed and walk out. (I thought that is so mean) but i did it and it took about 1 week of work and heart acches and it worked now when i say bed time she picks the book and we read it, give hugs and kisses say goodnight, and she goes right to bed. I know it sounds mean and it will give you heart aches but it will work. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-09-14 18:30:46 · answer #6 · answered by angie1412 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to reasuure him that he's a big boy and is totally safe in bed by himself...get him a night light for his room...it makes it seem a little less scary. Reassure him that you are right there if he neds you...you are going to have to use a bit of tough love...
2006-09-14 18:31:35 · answer #7 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm female, and my youngest daughter slept with me until she was 11. I never thought too much about it. It was comforting for her, and now she's a Mom, and her little baby girl is sleeping with them right now too. It's not a bad thing to me, but that's just my opinion~~
2006-09-14 18:21:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋