how long did you date until you got married?

Question

I've been dating my b/f for close to 5 years now. we talk about marriage a lot and how we would like our wedding to be and what we will do once we are married but yet the question doesn't pop up? my co-worker is getting married this weekend and it's making me really sad that i'm not married, not making plans for the wedding, or not even engaged yet. give me some advice

Answer 1

You are not alone...My boyfriend and I dated for a little over 5 years before we FINALLY got engaged in July! Definately don't pressure him. Everytime I would bring it up my fiance would tell me that the more I bugged him about it, the longer he would wait. When we met I was 19 and he was 24, so we are now 24 and 29. I told him I was not going to move in with him until we were engaged and I didn't. I know what you mean about being sad...I was the maid of honor in my best friends wedding last fall when they had been together almost 2 years less than us. It's really hard. Do you have any trips planned? My guy did it when we were on vacation in Washington - at Mt. Rainier. It was absolutely perfect and he always said he wanted it to be memorable. He said that's why he waited so long. He didn't want to just do it at dinner, or something like that. And even though it sucked while I was waiting, I'm glad he did. Because, looking back, now that I'm finally engaged, it didn't seem so bad after all. Just enjoy your time together and try not to get too upset. I know I wasted a lot of time being upset about the same thing as you. Good luck!

Answer 2

We dated for 2 years before getting engaged, and we'll be dating over 3 years when we got married.

Here's some advice: if you think that marriage is the right step to take, then ask him. If you have always wanted that romantic proposal, then tell him that. Your boyfriend isn't going to know what's in your head if you don't tell him.

You have a boyfriend--just because you aren't married or engaged yet doesn't mean anything. You've even said that you both have pretty much been planning your wedding. Why be sad when you have a great man as a boyfriend!

Be happy for your co-worker, and look at her wedding as a preview of yours. Take clues about what you like and don't like about what she did. Also, don't get bitter. Be happy for your co-worker and know that someday soon your day will be there too.

Answer 3

A lot depends on your age, and the way each of you feels about marriage and commitment.

When I met my husband, he was 22 and I was 19. We both were in a frame of mind to have a permanent relationship, and we were engaged 2 months later and married 11 months later.

I'm not recommending that to anybody, although it worked out beautifully for us. We had been in previous relationships, and we knew what we were looking for.

Five years is kind of a long time, if you are both old enough and financially secure enough for marriage. If you are living together, then you may not have much luck getting him to the altar. Why should he commit, if he doesn't have to?

If your five years began when you were both 13 years old, then you need to give one another more time.

Answer 4

My husband and I dated for 2 years before getting married. However, we were discussing the topic after only a couple of months of dating. We just got married on August 26th. :)

Your guy will ask when he's ready. I'm not saying he isn't ready now, but perhaps he has a certain time or special plan. I know it's hard to be patient when you want something like this so much, but it makes it all that more sweet when it happens. Good luck!

Answer 5

We dated for 6 months and lived together for 1 1/2 years then got married for a total of 2 years, we've been married for 18 yrs. this coming up October.Maybe he's afraid to comment in that way and is scared to say anything..You may have to let him know that nothing will change . Marriage does sometime change things a bit and it can be a little scarey wondering if that type of commentment will last..Good Luck

Answer 6

The first time we dated for 3 and half years. The second time we went out a couple of times and then got engaged right away. Guess what the quick version has lasted longer than the slow version. The question is what is right for you. At some point you need to sit your bf down and just ask him about the future and see if his version is the same as yours. If so then great, if not then you need to decide if he really is the man of your dreams.

Answer 7

Oh my! 3yrs 5 yrs 2 yrs 2 yrs here is my story We dated 10mos, married 8 mos after that. When you know it's right. You make it happen. We are also active christians, we didn;t live together or have sexual relations b 4 we got married- so maybe thats why we didn't wait yeeaars. You can test drive and lease a car - But you must be fully commited to buying it.

Answer 8

My boyfriend and I were together for 7 years when he proposed to me. We have lived together 2 1/2 years by that time. We are not married yet, but by the time we are, we will have been together for 8 years.

Answer 9

Me and my husband dated for three years before we got married. We have now been married for 7 years . Why don't you ask him to marry you why don't you take the first step would be an interesting story to tell your children some day.

Answer 10

When my now husband and I met, we had both been serious relationships prior and knew what we wanted out of life. We talked for several weeks before I ever agreed to go out on a date with him. We went on our first date Oct. 1st. We were engaged on Oct. 25th. We were married Jan. 14th. We are completely happy with one another. We both feel that we have our soul mates. When you know, you know. The amount of time will be different for everyone. Just talk to him and tell him how you feel. Good luck.