Do you trust your husband to take care of the kids.......?

Question

My husband is great with our boys when its play time but I went to my doctors today and he stayed with the boys and when I came home he was asleep with the 3 year old running around naked and the 9 year old eating junk out the fridge!!!! And he gets mad at me for me not wanting to work and him stay home he always throws that in my face when you get a real job bla bla bla. But he cant even do my job well. I dont know haw to react to him because everytime we do we just end up arguing!!! At my doctors appointment today I found out I was pregnant with twins we are going to have 5 kids and he thinks that is easy. I dont know if Im being over emotional or what but Im tired of all this.

Answer 1

I trust my husbands with my son. Even other people trust him to watch there kids. We have 4 God children. He loves everyone of them like they was his own. I wish you good luck with your twins. Your are just tired and shocked about having twins. Time will pass and it will all be better. Let your Older kids help with them when they arrive. That's if they are old enough. That will help take allot of stress away.

Answer 2

My husband is a stay-at-home dad and has been for a year now. He takes good care of my daughter. He loves his little girl more than anything in this world so I know he wouldn't let anything happen to her. Some guys are good at taking care of kids and some aren't. I guess you should have a trusted friend or family member watch the kids next time. Congratulations on the twins!

Answer 3

You are going to be tired with 5 kids, that's normal, but you shouldn't worry too much about it, mothers are made in such a way that you can always cope with kids... no matter how naughty they are...

Now, the most important thing is to try to trust your husband the way he is... I know how you feel when you saw your kids running naked and eating junk, but I'm sure the kids didn't mind...

The way I see it, the problem is not whether or not your husband can take care of your kids - you are upset because he's not taking care of them the way you took care of them.

In the beginning, I even recheck my son's diaper after my husband did it... now, even though I know he's not doing it my way, I let him do it his way - my son doesn't seem to mind at all!

Once in a while a little mess with daddy is tolerable - and it's important for your sanity to be able to leave your kids with your husband without thinking constantly of what could go wrong...

Another important thing is to make your husband understand that you are not working for the benefit of your children - no matter how many other women send their kids to the day-care, if you can afford not to work and take care of your kids at home, it's really better for them!

Congratulations on your twins!

Answer 4

I think you are right. It is not easy to be home with the kids. Its tough. My hubby did not understand until I gave him the chance. Now he knows. Congratulations about the twins, but as far as for daddy, he needs to get his attitude fixed. You need to tell him that if its so easy then what happens if they get a hold of a knife, while daddy takes a nap? Or if they go for a walk while daddy is not looking. It happens all the time. I would love to say ya go leave him at home, but you are pregnant anyway, it is his responsibility to work now not yours. Five kids, that is too much money in daycare now. You really have to commit your life to those kids now. He needs to understand if you could go to work you would, but its not him carrying around two baby's, while chasing a three year old. Tell him he needs to be supportive of you.

Answer 5

I am sorry to hear your hubby didn't take on the responsibility once you left the house. My hubby is pretty trust worthy although he lets the kids do things I would not allow but I think alot of dads may be that way. I think you two need to sit down and seriously talk about things before your twins are born. If you can't do it yourselves then go see a counselor.

Answer 6

Any man who doesn't know that a SAHM has the equivalent to two full time jobs clearly needs a reality-check! Be careful that you're not using your "fears" to control him, but it sounds like you might have a valid point. I have 7 kids, and no, it's not easy, but hopefully you guys can have a mature conversation about it and work through these things with respect. Seek counseling if necessary. Order Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl at the site below. It might help.

Answer 7

No, not really. I trust him for short trips (me going to the grocery store alone is a HUGE treat for me, LOL) but for any length of time, no, not really. He's a great, I mean TRULY great dad--never gripes about changing diapers, giving baths, playing non-stop, etc., but like your husband, I've caught my husband sleeping. He works nights and sleeps during the day and my mom watches our sons (2 1/2 years and 14 months). She wakes him up at 4 p.m. before she leaves. (Keep in mind on an average day, he would sleep as long as I'd let him--he just really enjoys it I guess. I dunno.) Anyway, I've come home from work early on more than one occasion and found him napping on the couch while our kids were running round wreaking havoc on the house--tearing diapers out of the changing table, climbing in the linen closet, playing with things they shouldn't be playing with, etc. It's my ultimate fear that one day our 2 1/2 year old (who is VERY curious and very prone to try "new things") will get outside. We live in a 3rd floor apartment, and my husband installed a chain lock at the top of the door once we moved in, to prevent our older son from getting out. I have horrible visions of him forgetting to lock the chain one afternoon and our son getting out, and letting his 14 month old brother out the door with him. He would just walk out into traffic, but his brother would fall down the steps and probably kill himself.

I had to go out of state over labor day to visit my very ill grandmother, and my husband was with our boys from friday through monday. I worried non-stop while I was gone--what if he's napping when the boys are and he doesn't wake up when they do and they get outside or get into the bathroom and get something that will make them sick or drag a kitchen chair to the pass through and climb over into the kitchen and get the knife block, etc.

Really, it's all about sleeping. When my husband is awake he's great, but it's this damn sleeping. This is odd, isn't it?

Answer 8

NO NOT EMOTIONAL AT ALL, SOUNDS LIKE YOUR HUBBY HAS ABSOLULTY NO CLUE AND THAT YOU ARE DOING WAY TOO MUCH BY YOURSELF. STAYING HOME IS MORE WORK THAN GOING TO AN OUTSIDE JOB. STAYING HOME DOES NOT PROVIDE CO-WORKERS FOR SUPPORT, LUNCH BREAKS, PAY, BENEFITS, PAID DAYS OFF, ETC!

REMIND HIM OF WHAT YOU WOULD PAY FOR DAYCARE FOR 5 KIDS AND THEN TELL HIM HE OWES YOU HIS 1/2 FOR STYING HOME AND TAKING CARE OF NOT ONLY YOURS BUT HIS KIDS TOO, I BET YOU'LL CATCH HIS ATTENTION THEN.

I WOULD REFUSE TO ARGUE W/ HIM. IN THE END HE WILL JUST THINK YOUR THE IRRATIONAL ONE, SO DON'T DO IT.
JUST CLEARLY EXPLAIN AND LIST ALL THAT YOU DO AND IN YOUR ABSENCE ALL THAT HES SUPPOSED TO DO IN YUR PLACE. IF HE DID IT THEN HE WULD REALIZE "ITS MAJOR AMOUNTS OF WORK".

ALSO, WHEN HE GETS HOME YOUR WORK DAY SHOULD "END" AND THEN IT BECOMES 50/50 FOR BED, BATH AND DINNER.

THIS MAN NEEDS TO START ACTING LIKE DADDY AND DOING HIS PART WITH HIS CHILDREN.

SO LONG STORY SHORT YOU ARE SOO NOT EMOTIONAL AT ALL ABOUT THIS!

Answer 9

Oh Honey I hear you. Try contacting a local mental health councillor & get some support. Your job is a real job & a very hard one at that. I bet you're fab at it. Good luck with the pregnancy.

Answer 10

Next time ask one of your relatives or friends to watch your kids when you can't. You might feel overwhelmed because of your new pregnancy. Try to keep calm as much as possible & this will also benefit your twins. Congratulations!