Can someone help me plz? My mother has been in my life ever since I was 10, I'm 13 and just got my peroid. I didnt want to tell her because she bugged me and tried to scare me by sayin that once you get your period you are more likley to get raped and that its crap and she hates it and she says that I "dont want to get PMS like me" she does. My other mom says its wonder full but shes only my Step mom and I dont know who to belive or who to tell first. My step mom was the one to tell me about the facts of life and my mother didnt. she wanted me to learn in school like everyother kid. My mother wants me to get on birth control so I have fewer periods. My step mom says that its a wonderfull day to celebrate and my mother says its a day to mourn on your lost childhood.
2006-09-14 10:47:01 · 21 answers · asked by Grateful Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Believe your step mom, she sounds like more of a real mother than your actual mother. When I first got my period, my mom, grandma and I celebrated, they took me shopping and everything. I'd tell them both, but probably your step mother first, since she is the that seems to care about you more. But I agree with your mother, I would go on birth control, not becasue it makes you have less periods, but because it wont make them as bad and it will keep them regular, which is a good thing. Good luck
2006-09-14 10:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are getting completely confused between them.
Having your period means you can have a child, so you need to understand the facts of life so you can be safe around sex. Talk to your step mum as she is the one who is giving you the best advice here.
People who have PreMenstrual Syndrome (pain, discomfort, and mood swings use) pills to cut down on periods. These pills put hormones in you body to trick it into believing you are pregnant so that you do not need to have a period. Anything that interfere with your periods you should discuss with your doctor or the school nurse as female hormones can have other effects. You may find your doctor won't give them to you because you are so young, unless there is a very good reason to do so.
Just because periods cause your mother problems does not mean you will have them. It is a shame she has had such a bad time with hers that she can't see you are different. Perhaps when you tell her, you could point this out, gently
If you are comfortable when you have your periods, then there is no need to worry. Okay, nobody loves the mess and stuff, but they are a sign you are becoming a woman, and yes, celebrate the fact.
If you d have problems with pain, there are simple measures that help, such as exercise, a hot water bottle, and a hot bath can help. You can ask your mum or step mum for painkillers such as aspirin or paracetomal (only one tablet) if this does not do the trick.
If you live in Britain, and want to check the facts you have been given, you can phone the people at NHS Direct (the number is in your phone book at the front) , or email the people at Get Connected at help@getconnected.org.uk
who help any teenager with health or relationship problems. They have a website worth checking out at www.getconnected.org.uk
and are very nice.
2006-09-14 11:17:09 · answer #2 · answered by tagette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother seems to have some unresolved hurt in her life that she is trying to pass on to you, I'm sorry she is doing that. Please understand that what she is saying is out of her own hurt or experience and doesn't mean it will happen to you.
I can tell by the way you write that you are a beautiful and precious girl - the truth is it is beautiful that you are growing up.
It's also true that getting your period can be a bummer sometimes. Some girls can feel yucky and cranky but that doesn't stop you from living life and still being innocent. You probably don't like to hear this but you are still a child - don't believe your childhood is gone, you still need time to grow up even if your body is going into the adult mode.
I'm a mom, and I work with teen girls your age, and have a teen girl myself. There is no reason for a 13 year old to be on birth control pills unless her Dr. says it is medically necessary to prevent endomitriosis or other conditions that could ruin your ability to have children in the future. And by maintaining your purity and saving yourself for marriage you would have no need for the pill.
Bless you, sweetie. I'm praying for you and your mom.
2006-09-14 11:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by pknutson_sws 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, it is something to celebrate. You are now a woman, biologically speaking. Your body is now able to have babies, but really your body won't mature to enough to start having a baby until you're about 18 or so when you're done developing. So pls. hold off the sex til you're married.
As for your mom suggesting you be on birth control, not a good idea. That's just more fuel for you to be promiscuous which you shouldn't be these days, especially with STDs, AIDS/HIV and pregnancy. I would say listen to your step mom or speak to the school nurse. Your mom is not helping in this matter.
2006-09-14 10:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by bornagain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all get them. Don't go on birth control for that reason. Reducing the number of periods will make the ones you have feel worse. It not a curse, just an event. Does your mother want you to stay a child forever? What does she mean lost childhood?
I'm 50 and my mother's generation was taught never to speak of it,( I don't know why) Maybe that atitude rubbed off on your mom. Don't be afraid of change, embrace it.
2006-09-14 11:40:57 · answer #5 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your step mom sounds like she is more your Mom, than your Mom. Go with what she says. It is a wonderful day. It is God given and I have never quite figured out why it was always referred to as "the curse". As I approach menopause I get really senitmental about not having periods anymore. Creating and sustaining life for 9 months, inside of you, is the most amazing thing. There is nothing quite like it....
PS: PMS can easily be controlled these days...with meds....and the right diet.
2006-09-14 10:51:57 · answer #6 · answered by D D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are becoming a woman which is a wonderful thing and should definitely be celebrated. Forget about what your mom says, she sounds like she has had her own bad experiences. Your step mom sounds more supportful, I would go to her.. and be happy, this is a good thing, not bad
2006-09-14 10:52:41 · answer #7 · answered by OnE GiRL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What really matters is who's opinoin means the most to you. If it was me, I'd go with step-mom. If she is there for you more emotionally, then she would be the better bet. It sounds like your real mom is to mentally unstable to be there for you the way she sould. Although you may want her to be there, (be a mom to you) in the right way, you need to accept the fact that she isn't.
2006-09-14 11:06:07 · answer #8 · answered by jenyluv2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take birth control properly, you'll get the same amount of periods as a normal person with no concerns. BUT, you're too young to have to take birth control. I totally agree with your stepmom. Sure, it's a pain for about 6 days, but it's worth it if you think about what it means. (Like you can have children, etc...) You're too young to be worrying about anything like that, enjoy your teen years and don't let it bother you.
2006-09-14 10:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by Farmwife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Periods suck, and apparently so does your bio-mom. Why would she tell you such garbage? Your more likely to get raped? Your periods dont get you raped. She needs help.
I would stick w/ your step mom. Although I dont think a period is anything to celebrate, she at least is more supportive.
2006-09-14 10:53:27 · answer #10 · answered by firecracker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋