im sad...please help?

Question

ok for the past 18 months or so i have been either really really down or really really happy i cant just be normal i dont no whether its this but recently ive started to get jelous of my step dad but i dont know why because hes been with my mum for like 10 years! but ive noticed my mum doesnt tend to listen to me and he wants to live in france with my mum.also she says that she loves me as much as my stepsisters. shouldnt she love me more? or am i being stupid?

Answer 1

no, i think its usual for a child to feel rejected, im 25 my mum has recently re married a chap with 2 kids,aged 13 and 10 (ish) my mum seems to have more time for his kids than any of her own, she says she loves us all the same but i can't understand that as she actually gave birth to us and not them!
if you have been feeling down for a while, it could be possible something happened about 18 months ago that upset you, did your mum talk about moving then? my mood swings are up and down i think thats normal (if not then it looks like it's me and you who's different hey!)
talk to your mum on your own and tell her how you feel, tell her how you have been feeling for the last 18 months and get everything off your chest, you'll probably feel better just telling her.
good luck

Answer 2

Jaz , I don't know how old you are but after 10 years of your mom being with your step dad, something has to be causing you to feel this way. Is it the fact that if they go to France that you will be left behind here and you feel that he's taking her away from you?Why does it seem like she's not listening to you any more? Is it because she may be thinking of going with him and you don't want her to go? You're thinking if she decides to go that it means she doesn't care about you and that she's not listening to you?Have you talked with your mom about it and does she seem to want to go even if you don't want her to? Or am I wrong,and that you would be going with them and you don't want to leave where you are and because you feel it would be wrong for her to ask you to do this when she knows the way you feel about leaving ? Without you saying whether or not you are going or staying, I can't tell! Either situation could be very stressful until you come to the realization that if she makes up her mind to go there's nothing you can do to change the way she feels!If you aren't old enough to be left wherever you are alone than you will have to go and there's probably nothing you can do to change that! If you're old enough to be on your own and they decide to go it's their lives and they have that right to go and live wherever they please. I think what your mom is saying when she says she loves you as much as your stepsisters is that she would do exactly the same for them as she would do for you when it came to making her decision. It doesn't mean she loves you any more or any less! Your stepsisters are part of your "family" now, and a mother loves all her family equally. Your feelings aren't stupid, you have to learn that everything in life isn't going to always be the way "you" want and it doesn't mean that people don't love you when you don't get your way. I think you need to continue to talk to mom and dad about this , just don't expect them to change their minds about this if this is really what they want!

Answer 3

oh honey.

you really need a big hug and my heart goes out to you.... : ( : )

I think that perhaps you need some quality time alone with your mum and tell her how you're feeling right now. You more than likely feel that the changes that have happened in your life have been quite a lot for you and that you are feeling quite emotional about it all....

No one in the world will ever love you more than your mum, so make sure you have some time together to sort this one out before you start feeling worse.

I wouldn't worry too much because these feelings are totally natural and commonplace for people in your position.

I am certain that your stepdad has no ill intentions whatsoever and that your welfare is paramount to him - he's probably just thinking about everyones future and what's best in the long run...

A stepdad's role is one of the toughest jobs on earth.. I know from my own experience, but give things time and do lot's of talking cos otherwise you'll never be heard.

I sincerely wish all the best sweetheart and never ever forget that these people love you so much, they really really do.

Take care of yourself :)

Marty

Answer 4

You're not being stupid. Maybe you're just in serious need of some alone time with mum. But before an ugly argument starts or you slip into some sort of depression from seperating yourself more from her you should say something to her. Talk to her about how you are feeling and try to do so with maturity and open-mindedness. Remember she is trying to share her love equally. Good luck and I'm sure things will work out.

Answer 5

You don't say how old you are or if you are in a relationship.

If you are in your teens it may be hormonal, but if you haven't anyone else to love you or if you are not in a relationship, the affect of seeing you'r Mum sharing her life and being happy will always be difficult.

She has a life too and I'm sure if you said to her one day you had met someone and wanted to go and live with them far away, she would feel the same sadness you are experienceing. We have to accept we all need different things. Cheer up. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

1) Your mom should love your stepsisters the same way as she loves you. It's not fair to show preferential treatment to just you, even though you feel that way. Why? Because if their dad showed preferential treatment to just them and not you wouldn't you not like it?

2) I think that you need to have a heart to heart with your mom about not listening to you as much as you think she should. You'd be surprised that, by going the right way about telling her and being honest about it, telling the truth can get you a long way in your relationship with her.

3) It's normal to be in a slight depression about a new family and the like. Try having one night out of the week with just you and your mom. I'm sure stepdad will understand the need for a little alone time with your mom.

Answer 7

You used to get on well with your step dad but now your'e starting to get jealous after 10 years, why? Is it because he wants to move to france. These decisions are very difficult by both your parents and are not taken lightly. Everybody wants to go to france except you? Is that why you feel your mother isn't listening to you. Your mother dosen't want to play "favourites" between you, your step dad and your stepsisters, you will always be "hers". If you don't want to go maybe you could live with your "real" father or cousins or something. Your step dad is trying to better himself by giving his family what they want. If you do move to france it could be exciting, learning another language and meeting diffrenent people. a new experience maybe. When your'e old enough you could go back to your own country without anyone's permission . You'll have dual nationallity. does this help?

Answer 8

You are not stupid, but you also have to accept that your mother has a relationship, which will result in her loving others. It is ok to ask yourself whether she has to love you more, but if your stepsisters are nice and good people, then there is no problem if your mom love them the same way she loves you.

Just try to live together and happy, dont be selfish

Answer 9

Not stupid, just insecure.
We've all been there, U have 2 ride it out at UR age.
Things sound a lil unsettled in UR family, so I'm not surprised UR feeling odd.
UR Mum loves U.
I'm a mum, trust me I know, U can spread that love around easily.
But what on earth makes U think she could love any1 more than U?
Cheer up.
Hope things settle down soon.

Answer 10

I would say mums probably being sensitive to all you, your sisters and , you alike.
If you have all been together for 10 years , she probably does love your step sisters and rightly so , and your step father to .
by the sounds of her .I already want to know her .
A parent loves their children to the best of their ability .
As a father myself, I can tell you , you are her favourite for your own reasons , and your sisters are her favourite to .She is an honest soul , and she is not stating she loves them any more than you .
Count yourself lucky , you have a loving mother .
Im a single dad , and my kids don't even no their mother, and there is no favorites therer either .