I just got out of a long relationship of over 5 uears and my girfriend is moving in a few months. I have 5 more months to live with her. It hurts because she is acting like she does not care about me at all. How do I continue to live with her? What do I do? I hate that she is moving because she was my best-friend. Nothing is clear anymore and I am always depressed. i have considered therapy, medication, EVERYTHING. It's very tough because I wanted to propose in December. When all is said and done, is it possible to co-exist together after all that we had? How can I move forward, knowing that i am living with my past? What can I do to get by? I am really struggling and need some HONEST, REAL, heart-filled answers.
Somebody, please help me!
2006-09-14 10:21:17 · 19 answers · asked by IdahoJoe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We share a lease on an apartment until Feb. 1st. Then, she is moving to Austin to live with her best friend and "find herself". She said that she wants to start over and enjoy life being SINGLE. I am just shocked and confused.
2006-09-14 10:25:18 · update #1
We are living together...and have been for over a year. 4 years altogether. She is moving bc the lease ends and wants to start over. We are both stuck in the lease because of financial reasons..not emotional wants. This situation sucks. I do not have the slightest clue right now as to what i need to do/can do.
2006-09-14 10:31:07 · update #2
Trust me--I just got divorced from a woman who wouldnt think about moving out until the divorce was finalized--sadly II was the one that had to move, But I was in a similar situation to you--there isnt anything you can do--just try your best to hold your head high, and if you have to avoid being there when she is.
2006-09-14 10:24:39 · answer #1 · answered by Rez 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that you are hurting so much, and her being there is not helping that at all.
I suggest that you find something you can do during the times that you are both in the house at the same time -- such as reading or doing crossword puzzles in another room, or only coming home each evening in time to go to bed. That sounds like a hassle but what you are dealing with is no fun either.
Can she not leave earlier? Tell her this is impossible for you and ask if she can stay with a friend and you will protect her things for the next 5 months.
2006-09-14 10:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was going through my divorce my ex hub lived with me for 3 months before we ended it he even went on dates in front of me LOL but after he moved away and we had time apart we are good friends to this day he wishes me the best and he has moved on but no worries your heart will heal in time and it will be awkward to live with someone that you were once close too and is no longer into you but hang in there my friend life will get better and if you want to go to therapy to work out your heart ache there is no shame in that talking to clinical people is a great help as well
Good Luck
2006-09-14 10:24:39 · answer #3 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way to deal with this is to let ur ex know that u don't feel comfortable with the living situation that she cant move in, in ur house... there is no better way of dealing with this then both of u sitting down and talking about it, as ur just friends... u cant still be best friends with a person u once dated u can only be friends and not close friends but those say hi and bye kinda friend cos of wot u once had and cos of ur feelings...
u need a bit of time apart and way from each other so that at leat u can start to feel normal again... why did u say yes for her to move in any way wen u were fling so depressed..
just talk to her and let her know that ur in a very bad stage now and if she cares abt u one bit ask her to move on with her life away from urs...
2006-09-14 10:36:44 · answer #4 · answered by beautysexychick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for yourself is put in your notice and help her find another roommate for the remaining lease.It is not good for you to stay there. Put everything in writing and both of you keep a copy. Just because it's a lease doesn't mean that their isn't anything that you can do. Talk to the apartment manager and see if they can help. It is not good for your there you need to move on. Don't stay and let her reject you over and over again.
2006-09-14 10:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by autumnbrookblue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need time apart. Maybe you'll be friends again at some point... but not until you guys get past what's going on now.
Letting her live with you is a bad idea.
Seriously, you should put your emotions aside for a second, get a little mad, and kick her the f*** out. Show her what she's walking away from. Don't be a pussy about this.
2006-09-14 10:25:46 · answer #6 · answered by Offended? Aww Have a Cookie! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you keep pulling yourself out of bed every morning. look at life one day at a time right now, then it doesn't seem so overwhelming.
it sounds like you relyed on her for your happiness... pick yourself up and strengthen/nurture yourself as a singular man. recover and rest and learn. spend time with other friends, family, and make new, close friends that will take the spot of the best friend you are missing.
once you feel back in order, it sounds like you are a long-termer. you should consider looking for a partner who is interested in marriage. that holds an intention/promise of sticking with you. there are no guarantees when you move in unmarried. there is no oath.
Get out of living with her NOW. Your mental health depends on it. trust me, it's not healthy, and you will be prolonging your recovery.
God Bless
2006-09-14 10:28:18 · answer #7 · answered by jami p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain dude, been there done that !
First of all you need to realize life is not over.
Try and take your mind off of her, focus on other things
work, school ect.....
keep busy until she moves out.
The most important thing you need to do is......
start talking to other girls, move on.
Soon she will be out and you will realize being all sad and depressed was a thing of the past and not even worth it.
2006-09-14 10:35:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you living together for another 5 months?My advice would be find a hobby to keep you busy out of the house til she moves.Cheer up,there will be someone better for you out there!
2006-09-14 10:23:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant move on with her in the house. She should move somewhere else.
Isnt there a friend you may have that can take on her share of the lease so she doesnt have to move in with you?
2006-09-14 10:23:05 · answer #10 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋