This happened 3 wks ago, my sister (27 yrs old) mouthed off at our mother and my mom did the 4 finger slap across the cheek...my sister balled up a fist pounded her in the head and grabbed her head and banged it into the refrigerator 6-7 times or so...kicked her, had her knee in her back, aggravating a previous injury and her two children (9 and 6) were helping her beat her. It got broken up and the 9-yr old called the police. Neither pressed charges...my mom doesn't want anything to do with her or her two kids and I don't either, but my mom is still in pretty bad shape. We think she had a stroke and that she has broken ribs, which may be pressing on her lungs...we think she may be getting pnuemonia. My mother doesn't believe in drs, never has and refuses to go. My sister feels as though it doesn't concern me, and I am at witts end on what to do...Should I forgive my sister and have a relationship or just write her off? I don't even know what to say to her.
2006-09-14 10:12:01 · 12 answers · asked by Peachz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My sister and her kids do not live with my mother, they are down south and I am up North, I am the older sister. My mother has left and gone out west to get away from her. She was visiting with my grandmother and this happened at her house. My grandmother got hurt in the cross fire as well. My sister had sent one of the kids to get a box cutter, I am just grateful that someone broke it up. We have all tried to convince my mom to go to the hospital, but she just doesn't believe in drs...she said if it is her time, then it is her time.
Also a police report was made, just no charges filed on either side.
My mother's left side is not very functional, that is why we think she had a stroke...and she has a knot on the back of neck a few inches down.
This all just breaks my heart, I don't know what to do, I have always been a forgiving, non-grudge holding person, but this one has got me tore up pretty bad, I fear for my mom's life. I have tried to get her to stay with me.
2006-09-14 10:48:02 · update #1
First off, your Mother was a Saint for not pressing charges on your sister and her kids!
Your Sister should NOT have anything more to do with your Mother, until she has undergone Anger Management Classes!!!
I would have a "peace bond" or some other restraining order put on your Sister, until she has gone for 6 months of classes and not let your Mother near her! She should not be let near her, unless you have Supervision!
There should be another adult in the room, to protect your Mother even though, you Sister has gone through anger management classes. Who knows, when she may still erupt out of something your Mother may or may not say.
Now, your Mother is badly bruised up. She "may" have a cracked rib, if she is suffering, and cant breathe right. A Doctor is necesary, because they will "tape" her up, so that the ribs dont move. Also, the pnemonia should be treated with antibiotics, before she gets too bad off and may die in the process.
Your Mother may be blaming herself, because of your Sisters violent outbreak, so, dont give into her self pity and GET HER TO A DOCTOR!!
This DOES concern you, as its YOUR Mother too! Tell your Sister that she is not allowed to see your Mother, until she gets into treatment, and those rotten kids too!!! (I cant imagine a Mother who would have thier kids beat on thier Grandmother...what a cast of characters!).
Forgive her, for sure! But, set the rules now, so that she knows her boundries.
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-09-14 10:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by x 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why do u want to have any relationship with a person who actually beat her own mom and is teaching wrong stuff to her kids and who has anger management issues... if i were u., i wud tell her off and belittle her so much that she feel likes sh.i.t.. u need to get away from her sister cos u never know she might just beat u up one day as well... if and wen ur mom gets better u need to get her away from ur sister and her ruthless family... i also thing that u shud have reported this incident to the police cos ur mom seems to be in a pretty bad shape and if she dies who will take responsibility for it, of course ur sister wont... wot if ur sister does it to some other family member again.. wont u feel bad that u didn't do anything to stop her in the first place...
i dont think u should forgive in this life or any time in the next life and u dont need a sister like that... take care...
2006-09-14 17:22:46 · answer #2 · answered by beautysexychick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you must do is get your mom to a doctor to make sure she doesn't have internal injuries or anything serious going on. If she won't listen to you, maybe another adult can get her to go.
As for your sister, she has a problem managing her anger and controlling her temper. She definitely needs counseling. I would not forgive her until she gets help for her temper tantrums. She has severely injured your mother, who is also her mother. How can she have done such a thing? I fear for your mom, and for your sister's kids. They're going to grow up thinking it's okay to go around pounding on their loved ones. Your sister is dysfunctional, and the sooner she gets straightened out, the better.
But right now, your main concern must be your mother. See that she gets medical help as soon as possible. She could have a serious internal injury or broken bones. Tell her she might die if she doesn't get help. And keep that wacky sister away from her.
2006-09-14 17:22:35 · answer #3 · answered by gldjns 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do believe you should try and get your mother to a doctor, this is a must. any thing can happen, and you will never forgive yourself, This is hard to believe that your sister would do such a thing to her Mom, I do not blame your Mom for not wanting anything to do with her and her children. We do have to forgive people, I always say if we want God to forgive us we have to learn to forgive others. But of course you don"t be stupid and let them do it again to you. Just leave her alone for a while.
2006-09-14 17:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was this a 1 time thing or have incidents like this happened before? If they haven't I would get my sister some help, if they have I would say adios, sister girl! As for your mom unfortunately I don't think you can help her (medically) unless she wants it. Good luck! I hope your mom feels better!
2006-09-14 17:23:10 · answer #5 · answered by Pildi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 27, your strange sister is TOO OLD to still be living at home, if that is the case. Either way, it's assualt. It sounds as though EVERYONE in the family needs serious counseling.
2006-09-14 17:21:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's pretty crazy. You need to take your mother to get help, some of her injuries are life threatning and without help they may be irreversiable. Personally, some family members are toxic and aren't healthy relationships. Do what you need to do, but make sure you are ok with yourself first.
2006-09-14 17:46:09 · answer #7 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CALL THE POLICE, TO GET YOUR MOTHER IN TO HOSPITAL BY FORCE, IT IS FOR YOUR MOTHER OWN GOOD. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER SHE DIES AND YOU COULD PREVENT IT? YOU STUPID IDIOT. AGAIN, CALL THE POLICE ON YOUR MOTHER, NOW!!!
About your sister, if she get sorry for what she did maybe you should forgive her, but if she do not feel sorry you should press charges.
2006-09-19 00:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by miniboi6666 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for u and ur mom(if she didnt deserve it) I will forgive her but i wont have her in my life anymore
OR jus beat the S**t out of her
2006-09-14 17:17:50 · answer #9 · answered by cc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg i would first beat the crap out of anyone who ever did anything remotely close to my mom like that, sister or not! and p.s. she would no longer be my sister.enough said?
2006-09-14 17:17:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋