My boyfriend an I have been dating for 2 1/2 years now. We have both known that we want to get married and we have talked about it since about 1 year being together. The problem is, I get very depressed sometimes about my life. Mostly it is about not being married. He says that he doesn't want to get married when I obviously have other issues that need to be worked on through counseling. I don't think this is fair. I think he should want to be with me with or without the depression. What do others think I should do?
2006-09-14 10:06:29 · 13 answers · asked by Cheeseball123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Get help with your depression. Go to couples counselling together so that he will better understand what depression is. If you are depressed about not being able to get married, you need lots of counseling. If you are depressed about something that isn't happening in your life, just think about how depressed you would be if something really serious happened in your life. Get help together and then see if marriage is in the future. Who does depression hurt? Depression hurts everyone.
2006-09-14 10:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be more understanding of how your boyfriend feels. He is right in this case of not wanting to marry you. Your boyfriend wants to see you happy and healthy and counseling is a great idea. Don't get caught up in the idea of marriage because it's very serious. I think your boyfriend is trying to help you and not hurt you. And sometimes when you are depressed you may feel that people are against when really they are not. It sounds like you are looking at this one way and not looking at it as whole which tends to be difficult when depressed. But really look at the idea of being more of a happy person and work those issues out. You dont want to get married and then divorced because of your depression. Marriage is sacred and it's not something that you can do and take it back. When you marry someone it should be forever and a lot of time people marry for the wrong reasons. Try to get healthy first and control your depression don't let it control you.
2006-09-14 10:36:30 · answer #2 · answered by valentinegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MARRIAGE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!!! I think too many people think marriage is a long date - and it is not. There are so many things that go on in a marriage that it is imperative that both people be whole going in to it.
If you cannot be happy by yourself, you will NEVER be happy with someone else. Your boyfriend is right. You must find the source of your unhappiness before you two join together in marriage. This will just become an issue that will make your marriage worse.
You need to work on yourself, otherwise you will be looking to your boyfriend to make you happy, and those are large shoes to fill if he is not the entire source of your unhapiness. This, in turn, will make him feel resentful. Be fair to the both of you and seek counseling before you go any further.
2006-09-14 10:12:16 · answer #3 · answered by lilshortrib 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..
But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.
Helping you eliminate depression?
2016-05-16 15:19:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to go counseling marriage is not something anyone should rush into and being married won't release your depression you need to work on these issues for being married is tough enough no matter how mentally happy you are or not so please get help
2006-09-14 10:15:36 · answer #5 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's not only scared, but also looking out for your best interest. He's right that you have issues that need resolved through counseling. And he might also fear that you're getting "depressed" as a way to push him into marriage out of guilt.
Why aren't you seeing a therapist?
2006-09-14 10:11:29 · answer #6 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one! I totally see his point and I totally see your point. But depression is an awful thing to be around! I don't know how my husband put up with me when i went through it and most other people who have depression do not realize what burden they are on other around them. You must realize how taxing this is on someone else. In the same respect, If my husband used that as ammunition to not marry me-I would be so gone it wouldn't be funny! Everyone is different and so are you and what is right for me is not always right for you.
2006-09-14 10:12:05 · answer #7 · answered by soniaatcalifornia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a heart to heart talk. tell him your feelings about this. but also, take step to improve or cure your depression episodes. you may thin that this is unfair but it is a valid reason. some marriages ended in divorce because 1 party was mentall unfit to be in a marriage and depression is one of the factors for that. best advice is go to counseling and ask him to help you battle your depression.
2006-09-14 10:11:51 · answer #8 · answered by dunce002917 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest going to couseling for sure. Together and for you alone.
And keep talking about it. Its not fair for you to be DEPRESSED about not being married when you have a perfectly good boyfriend. What does he want? You both need to talk about it more and let each other know what your goals for the future are.
I dated my wife for 6 years just for your information.
When you think about it...whats the rush if you are going to be together forever?
2006-09-14 10:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by Answerman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life presents us with challenges when we are ready to tackle them. Looks like you should clear up the perceived issues before proceeding. Obviously you have raised one or more flags with your partner and he is being cautious. What happens if you do get married and then you get depressed about something else?
2006-09-14 10:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋