What is the funniest thing your kid ever did/said?

Answer 1

I am glad this didn't happen to me! When my husband and my 2year old daugher were at the library, apparently he farted (softly he claims) but she was right there so she heard it - she gasped really loudly and said in a loud and animated voice - OOOOO DADDY POOP!

Answer 2

My uncle builds a haunted maze on his front yard every Halloween and when my son was almost 4 there were a ton of people adults afraid to go through. Well my son ( now 9) grabbed a girls hand who was afraid and walked them through oh this is my dad, this is my papa, telling them who was inside the costumes. It was funny when these people dressed up to scare were laughing. It was cute.
A few days after that he stuck a peanut up his nose and my dad got a tissue and told him to blow and he blew! He got snot all over my dad. It was funny-not to my dad.

My other son was almost 2 and we were looking at apartments and go figure he finds a screw on the ground and sticks that up his nose. We had magnetic games in the car that's how we got that out. Then my son said I thought my head was loose, I was just trying to tighten it.

Answer 3

I have so many stories about my son. My 3 year old loves to sing, and like his dad he tends to alter the words in the songs. Instead of "I'm the Map" from Dora the Explorer, he sings "I'm a Nut."

One evening he asked his dad to sing the "person eater song." My husband assumed he meant "The Purple People Eater." No. My son was almost in tears trying to get Daddy to sing the "person eater song." Finally he explained that Daddy had been singing it earlier. My husband was singing Hall & Oates "Man-Eater" as they were getting ready for bed. For some unknown reason, my son loves that song and can even sing part of it himself. "Oh, oh, here she comes. Watch out boy, she'll chew you up. She's a man-eater." It's so funny hearing a 3 year old sing that in this sweet, innocent little voice.

He also sings "I'm a smoker, I'm a broker."

Another time I tried to explain why Daddy goes to work. Daddy brings home money so we can buy food. If Daddy doesn't go to work, we wouldn't have food. It's a little simplified, but you explain to a 3 year old why we work. My son responded "there's bread in the sky." I had no idea what he meant, so I told him "there are clouds in the sky." Then he explained "there's bread in the sky. It's called mana. It tastes like honey." I can only guess that he learned about that in church, because we haven't told him that story.

He also loves to tell stories. Here's one that he dictated to me entitled "Spot Too."

"Spot too. Chan’s a bad guy. He’s named Chain. And one day he scared a girl. And the girl starting to run and run and run a long time. One day she got tired. She’s starting to run so fast and she got tired and Bob the Fireman had Spots too. Spots is kind of like a dog and he’s nice nice firends. Spiderman he was a bad guy and Bob the Fireman bring his truck and he sprayed Spiderman and the water didn’t go down and Spiderman wouldn’t talk. And Bob the Fireman had some Easter Day. And Bob the Fireman eats some pancakes with butter on top and put some syrup on first. And he finds the easter eggs."

Answer 4

I don't have kids but I do baby sit for a friend, she has a 4 year old little boy. We were waiting at a bus stop and he just came out and said "Everyone at pre-school calls me a freak". Everyone at the bus stop laughed, he is always saying the weirdest things. And he also insists that Strawberry milk is healthier for him than chocolate milk, but Coke is really good for you, lol.

Answer 5

Two days ago I was feeling really sick, I asked my 3 1/2 year old jokingly "if mommy died would you be happy with just daddy, or would you want daddy to marry another lady?" She looked at me funny and said "mommy I would want daddy to marry you." Obviously she is too young to realize what death is. But she is constantly saying funny things, this is just the only one I could think of.

Answer 6

it is merely between the greater humorous issues my son has ever reported.... sooner or later, once I had merely finnished cleansing homestead from ultimate to backside, i became exhausted so my husband stated we order pizza for dinner so I ouldn't ought to prepare dinner. nicely after the pizza arrived, my daughter spilled an entire can of soda everywhere in the kitchen floor....for particular, i became completely disgusted on the region. we've pergo flooring, and you ought to use particular cleaners and sparkling it a undeniable way, so I informed my daughter to circulate get each and all the stuff i might desire to bathe the cut back to rubble. She then stated, "mom, you many times ought to make each and everything so complicated." nicely, my son which became 4 on the time and likes to attempt to apply and outline "huge words", then states quite rely-of factly, "Yea, mom. which ability while your poop won't pop out!" i became actually guffawing to tears!!!

Answer 7

My daughter is 3 and she says the funniest things, Like she'll be eating a popsicle and say "MMMM thats CANLICIOUS!" (delicious)
And she calls potatoes Cantatoes.
Once I was visiting in texas and she was talking to me on the phone and says "Mommy, i miss you are you in Texas, ill be there in firty minutes."
Also she painted her face with red lipstick recently and walks into the room where we are and screams " IM A WICKED CLOWN, PEOPLE HELLO!!!"

Answer 8

This isn't so much funny as the cutest thing ever. When I ask my daughter if I can give her a kiss she usually turns her cheek to get the kiss on the cheek, then you say give mommy a kiss and turn so she can kiss your cheek and she puts her cheek against mine. I love it, makes me laugh every time.

Answer 9

Not my kid, but one of the kids I daycare!
I was talking about illnesses, and asked if anyone had ever had chickenpox. One of them piped up and said: "Oh yes! My daddy cooked some last night and it was really good!!" :)

Answer 10

One time he sat on his potty and asked for toilet paper (he was 2) and started wiped his butt saying "cweana da butt!" (clean the butt).

Another time he went up to an obese gentleman and say "wow, big guy!"

Another time he saw a midget in the supermarket and every time she came into our aisle he kept saying "wanna see, wanna see the funny girl!" it was pretty embarassing.

He calls my husbands nipples "galaxies" because they have hair around them.

He discovered his anus the other day and said "das a hole in there"

Answer 11

This may be more scary than funny, but every once and a while my three year old daughter does something crazy to her hair. She has set her hair on fire with a candle, cut it, and most recently she put a big piece of gum in it. I think she wants to be bald! HAHAHAHA