My best friend is getting married and everyone in the bridal party that's over 24 -30 has their "significant other" in the wedding party except for me and I'm stuck with some kid that's 20 and I'm 28. I'm feeling a little mad about this. She and her fiancé like my husband, I'm not being delusional about it, so why isn't he in the wedding. Is this proper etiquette, not to invite your wedding parties spouse to be a part of it?
2006-09-14 09:15:47 · 42 answers · asked by secondfloorloft 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
They either want him in it more than your husband, or feel obligated to include him, but they also want you in it. They don't want to have two more people, and so they have to limit it. If you feel so strongly about wanting to be with your husband that day, perhaps you should tell them that, and excuse yourself from the wedding party. For it's their special day, not yours.
2006-09-14 09:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by eric l 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is your spouse invited to the wedding? If he's invited to the wedding and just not part of the wedding party, then you're out of line. The wedding party is a very personal thing and the bride and groom have every right to pick whomever they want. Just because they like someone doesn't mean that the person should be in the wedding. What's the big deal- you have to sit/stand next to this guy for a night? get over it.
2006-09-14 10:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by K S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bridal party doesn't have to consist of each person's significant other. If it works out that way, that's cool, but if it doesn't, it doesn't. The bridal party is made of the couple's closest, nearest, and dearest. Although they may like your husband, it doesn't mean he gets to be in the wedding.
Just for an example, in my wedding, some had spouses that were asked and some didn't. My Matron of Honor's husband wasn't asked because my husband doesn't know him. My sister was a bridesmaid, but her husband and my husband aren't close either so he wasn't asked. However, the Best Man's wife was a bridesmaid. My husband's brother was a groomsman and his wife (which is a friend of mine) was a bridesmaid. And my husband's cousin was a groomsman, but we don't know his girlfriend, so she wasn't involved either.
The bridal party is chosen by the couple, not the attendants.
2006-09-14 13:38:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's a little unusual that you're the only one, but actually I've never heard of a spouse or "significant other" being invited to join the wedding party. So it's odd that everyone else has their partner in the wedding party, not that you don't. The groomsmen should be friends and relatives closest to the groom, and the bridesmaids should be those friends and relatives closest to the bride. The two don't necessarily have anything to do with each other. Please just remember that this is your friend's day.
2006-09-14 09:19:13 · answer #4 · answered by smurfette 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its definately not rude to not have your husband be in the wedding party. Traditionally the bridesmaids are the female's friends and the groomsmen are the groom's friends. I'm sure that the bride and groom feel close to your husband but for a bunch of reasons he might not be able to be in the wedding i.e.they can't have all of their friends be in the wedding. I wouldn't be upset by it. You'll only be with the 20 yr old for a little part of the wedding anyway.
2006-09-14 16:23:38 · answer #5 · answered by newjerseygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not necessary to have spouses / significant others included in the wedding. Absolutely not. You have to step back and realize that it is hard to choose a wedding party. Perhaps your friend's fiance is having a hard time choosing his party... and this 20 yr old guy is just a bit closer to him than your husband is. That's how it's done. He chose the guys that are closest to him. It just so happened that some of them matched up with the bridesmaids. You can't control that.
And honestly, no offense, but don't be so whiney about it. You just have to walk down the aisle with this guy (and it's not like he's 12)... then you MIGHT have to dance with him once. Get over it, it's not a big deal.
2006-09-14 09:19:22 · answer #6 · answered by PT&L 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard of spouses automatically being part of the wedding party ... it's usually the selected friends of the bride and the groom. Don't stress about it; you only have to walk with the guy a few short steps. Besides, it's not YOUR wedding, and it isn't your place to decide who's in it. If it bothers you so much, ask your friend how they chose whom they chose... but don't try to plan the event for her. It's HER big day. You already had yours...!
2006-09-14 09:20:03 · answer #7 · answered by bethiswriting 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you're married....
You MUST know the kind of stress this poor girl is going through just planning the wedding. The last thing she needs is attitude from her bridesmaids about something so trivial as this.
Imagine how you'd feel if your bridesmaids were angry at you over who was in the wedding...you are supposed to be there for her, and support what she does. So what, you have to walk down an eisle next to a 20 year old.
For chrissake, women are so insane sometimes....it amazes me how many friendships are injured in bridesmaid related incidents every year, all because of trivial crap...
2006-09-14 09:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Usually, the bridal party is made up of single people. Hello? That's why it's a brides "MAID." I'm surprised that your friend asked you at all, because you're already married. The groom probably asked the other girls' boyfriends because they are his friend. It is not improper etiquette to not invite your husband to be in the bridal party. You are overstepping your bounds by expecting that your husband be part of it. If you feel that strongly about, you should tell your friend that you can't participate instead of ruining her big day by being pissy about your husband not be invited. You're being really rude and selfish.
2006-09-14 09:22:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well since it's their day and their wedding it's their choice as to who should be in the wedding. Please note my use of the word "their", but i can certainly understand why you're upset. Just think that after about an hour or less in some cases you can ditch the 20 yr old for your husband who will be at the wedding I'm sure.
2006-09-14 09:24:04 · answer #10 · answered by solgiver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to disagree with you, but the bridal party is to be made up of people the bride and groom choose without bearing on who's married to whom. Of course, your husband should be invited to the wedding, but to expect him to be in the wedding party just because you are seems way more than you should be expecting.
2006-09-14 09:19:20 · answer #11 · answered by melouofs 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋