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Here it is.. my boyfriend that I have been seeing for about 2 months now is really good to me and everything.. but because of his past relationship my family has their doubts about him and dont really want to see me with him. I feel for him like I have never felt before so he may be the "one" and he is convinced that I am the "one" for him which is all fine and dandy in our world... but his past relationship wasnt all easy and fun like we are. It was abusive (verbally, physically, emotionally...) on both parties but more his ex- girlfriend than him. Anyways... they have 3 kids together and Im fine with that... I have one of my own. But what I dont understand is people can change they just have to want it but I cant get some of my family members to understand this. He is wonderful to me and my baby girl. I know that my family wants whats best for me.but maybe he may be good for me and I may do him some good. I dont know. I can only wait and see. but I need some other ppl input on this..

2006-09-14 09:10:37 · 6 answers · asked by jmpcarcsea080506 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

6 answers

There is always the potential for anyone to be abusive. That doesn't mean they're going to be. His past doesn't define who he is today. Good luck.

2006-09-14 09:14:45 · answer #1 · answered by bernie2u4 6 · 1 0

Well, lets be honest with each other. If you really felt that way about him, does it really matter what everyone thinks? the answer is NO. The only two things that you and your other half should be concerned with is the health and safe well being of those children. Now, dont get me wrong, people can change, and some are incapeable of change. You have to ask yourself if you can see you and your children with him forever, no matter what comes up, with-in reason, (minus the verbal, emotional, and physical abuse). If you can say that, then it wont matter what anyone thinks, because they have there own life to live, and your life is yours, NOT THEIRS. Bottom line, do what make you feel right.

2006-09-14 16:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by miteclipse02 1 · 0 0

two months is not very long and you need to observe him for much longer and under different circumstances;i imagine that the description of his relationship wiht his ex comes from him and i wonder how he react to you talking wiht her to get her side of hte story;also i guess that he is a bit older than you
the issue,as it were, of hte three kids is a problem as well
as for your opinion that people can change because they want to ,well ,thats true but as for as they are prepared to put in a huge effort and i really dont like the sound of that physical abuse although you suggest he was provoked
although i really cant see how an outsider can help i would dig further into this by using professionals such as couple counsellors from relate and they really do know how to expose the weak points in people's armoury and if he refused ot get this all out on the table and look at ti then you have a full size danger sign in front of you

2006-09-14 16:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by Patrick O 2 · 0 0

well the good thing is that you know about his past. if he has been good to you so far then continue with it. i believe that people can change too but they have to be given the chance to. if later down the road you see bad signs then do hesitate on moving on. as for your family they have good intensions. sometimes its hard to make ur choice instead of going with what they say. theyre going to love u either way and always be there for you so dont worry about making ur own choice. talk to them and tell them that u know they mean well but you want to give things a try because you think he may be rite for u.

2006-09-14 16:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by Jaime 2 · 0 0

You have been with him for a whopping 2 months. That isnt enough time to know anyone. Right now, its all still fresh and new.
As you said, all you can do is wait and see.

2006-09-14 16:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by JC 7 · 0 0

if you love someone dont ever let your family tell you who you can be with and who u cant its ur life an sometimes you are going to be the one to make mistakes just because he was that way with her doesnt mean he is going to be with you...i would stay with him if u love him...

2006-09-14 16:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by Cindy R 2 · 0 0

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