now after 9 months, me and my ex-boyfriend have worked things out and want to plan a life together. Should I tell him? If I we decide to get married how can I hold such a secret from him? Will he understand that I didn't do it because I didnt love him (he broke up with me)? I know for sure that my ex good friend would never tell. He has always been a very dear friend to me but I felt so comfortable with him. The thing is what if he tells 20 years from now, to ruin my marriage.
2006-09-14 08:49:38 · 28 answers · asked by one_and_only 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What is telling him going to accomplish?? You both weren't even dating. You can choose to tell him, IF you feel that you want to have everything out in the open, BUT be ready for the consequences.
2006-09-14 09:05:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him now. You cannot start your relationship back up with such a huge secret hanging over you waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just explain that you and your friend had sex while you were broke up.
2006-09-14 08:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You broke one of the cardinal rules of best friends. you never ever go out with someones best friend..If you want to make sure that things won't be messed up in the future and not being lying to him for all that time before he does find out and end up in a divorce.. I would tell him way before you decide to get back together. He will either except this or he will be greatly pissed at you for doing so.. make sure that he has excepted it before you continue on because down the line a few years he my start throwing it up in your face that you had slept with his best friend and that won't make for a happy marriage.. Men will do this.. try just being friends for a couple of years and see how things work out before even moving in togehter or anything.. you want to be sure that he isn't going to bring it up everytime you get into and arguement.. good luck with this one..
2006-09-14 09:37:06 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I say u tell him u wouldnt like it if he keept a secret from u so tell him and if he doesnt want to get married well is for the best it hard for him to accept what u did maybe it going to take a lil time but if i were u tell him cuz it better to start ur marriage right
2006-09-14 08:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by Beautiful 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it depends on you. Can u live with that secret? If not, then u know what u gotta do. Just remind him that u guys were apart for nine months...a lot can happen in that much time. Personally I wouldnt tell him if i thought he would never find out. What u dont know cant hurt you, but if u decided to go that route, u may want to have a lil convo with ur good friend and make sure he agrees.
2006-09-14 08:53:16 · answer #5 · answered by CrzyGurl21 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Clean out the closet. Tell your man and let him decide. If he's a good man he'll see how hard this was for you to admit especially since it would have been so easy to cover up. If he's good he'll also see why you did it and what you're risking to lose by telling him. Might cost him a friend (the hook up ) but then again you don't need that temptation around anyway. Good luck.
2006-09-14 08:52:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Deception is not an option....If you want things to work out then you need to tell him as soon as possible. For future reference: Don't sleep with friend(s) of your ex or present. By thee way do you have feelings for his friend because if you do another problem will exist further down the line...don't become a sloth
2006-09-14 08:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by she 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You gotta carry your own water on this one - keep your mouth shut. If you tell, you might feel better, but your bf certainly will not. Besides it was after he broke up with you right? If he ever asks you about what if anything happened when you were separated, ask him back as to why he wants to know - usually when a man asks something like that he is getting set to make some kind of judgement on you. Good Luck
2006-09-14 09:19:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him......why start out with such a big secret?
2006-09-14 08:51:02 · answer #9 · answered by doereen69 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just tell him. he probably slept with other people too and wouldnt you want to know? just for safety sake? my ex and i broke up for 3 months, in that time i slept with 2 other guys and he slept with 2 other girls. then he said i only slept with them to hurt him but that he slept with the girls cause they "raped" him. it was best to know he didnt give a **** aobut anyone and i knew it was better to move on anyways. had i not told him, i wouldnt have know he was such a liar and womanizer
2006-09-14 08:52:54 · answer #10 · answered by mickey g 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋