I have this wonderful little two year old. She has a sense of humor and a great smile. Usually she is pretty easy going and just loves life and to be with her family. For about a month now the terrible twos has a tendency to creep in. She cries about everything. In the morning, she can pick what she wants to drink- milk, juice, or water. She'll pick juice, then cry when I give it to her. I ask her again what she wants and it keeps on going. Usually she is crying about the things that she has a choice about- the choice is hers and it doesn't matter what she picks. But, after she chooses she has a crying fit, folding her arms, stamping her feet, and shouting "NO!" She is a really great kid but I need some advice on how to make all of our lives easier and happier.
2006-09-14 08:42:46 · 23 answers · asked by kelliemag 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My 2 1/2 year old son is the same. He acts like I forced him to make the choice, even though he did it himself. I found that if he picks something, and I say well thats what you picked so now you need to have it, he will eventually stop the fit and take what he picked in the first place. At first I would just keep changing what he wanted because his fits and yelling were driving me crazy! Then I soon realized that my giving in was only making it worse. So I stopped giving him something different and just ignored him. At first he cried and yelled, but eventually he just dealt with it because he knew I wasnt going to give him something different.
2006-09-17 16:20:10 · answer #1 · answered by holly w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! so I am not alone in this battle. I have a 2 and a half year old son. He does the same for food and drinks. Now he's getting better at it.
Heres what I tried. When she chooses her option, like juice, show her an empty glass and the juice box, and tell her very sweetly but be strict, that are you sure you want this, coz once its in your glass, thats all you will get. And keep talking to her while you are pouring her the juice and mind you no other option should be visible once you have given her the juice.
I know it takes a big amount of patience............
good luck
2006-09-14 11:23:37 · answer #2 · answered by chatty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can eliminate the tantrums completely, but for now maybe reduce her choices. Don't let her choose what to drink, just say, today you are having milk. If this doesn't work than go back to giving her a choice, juice or milk, just try to cut down on what she has to think through.
My 2 year old daughter gets upset over not being able to communicate. She can just start screaming her head off after I ask her to repeat something. She calms right down in time out, and then can usually tell me or show me what she wants.
2006-09-14 08:47:18 · answer #3 · answered by S. O. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buy a book called Toddler Taming by Dr. Christopher Green.
I wouldn't have survived this long without it.
It is relaxing, empowering, amusing, and full of perfectly normal common sense with a lot of doctor-type information. We could give you tons of advice here, but this guy has it all in one book. The most important thing is to try to work with her as much as possible. Remember that her brain is tiny right now and she is not trying to make you upset. Relaxation is the key - if you are relaxed even in the face of her difficulties, she will sort everything out so much more quickly.
Remember that so many things just aren't important. Ignore boring stuff like tiny tantrums. It is just not important that she stamps and says NO. In the scale of things, does it matter? Let her do it, and then praise her again once's she stopped.
2006-09-14 22:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give her all three, and stop having her make decisions for a while. she is obviously not ready to be a big girl most of the time. Her little brain is trying to process what happens when she makes adecision, and sometimes she can't understand what she really wants. Or have her make the choice of which she wants to do first, assuring her you will also do the other thing. Things like. do you want to play in the park first or go to the mall first( if she likes the mall) and make some of them silly, like do you want to get undressed first, or take a bath first, then let her get in the tub fully dressed when she chooses bath. Let her see her decisions have consequences, but not very big ones. aqnd sometimes funny ones.
2006-09-14 08:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two options. Either don't give her a choice or if she fusses over the choice she chooses don't give her anything else and if the fit continues march her in and put her in her room. You have to win the battles with children or they will continue. It may not be an easy battle at first but she is testing to see where her boundaries are and she will continue to do so until you establish that you are in charge but that she does have some choices.
2006-09-14 08:54:02 · answer #6 · answered by rltouhe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens to the best of them. I have a fabulous 2-year old too, just a joy of a kid. But, she can do the same thing too on occassion. It's all about seeing the kind of power they can exert on others, how their behavior can make you alter yours. As best you can, don't let her pull that, but it's not always easy. If she refuses what she asked for, don't try to appease her by offering another choice, just put away the thing she refused, then when she's thirsty and wants a drink, give it to her. I have a hard time because my daughter will delay going to bed with all sorts of antics, esp asking to go potty when she doesn't really have to. That's a hard one to say no to, so we end up going about three times before she goes to bed. And yeah, sometimes on visits one and two she doesn't go, but on visit three she does, so I have to go each time. They are little manipulators. ;)
2006-09-14 09:51:08 · answer #7 · answered by weez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just in the stages of learning independence while still wanting to be a little kid. It's great that you're giving her choices but if after she has made her choice she decides it was the wrong one you have to let her know it is the consequence of her choice. Don't worry - they grow out of it in another 18 years : )
2006-09-14 08:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by PlainLana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son the same thing, I take the drink away from him and say "well then you don't get anything" and he cries and cries and I ignore him for afew minutes til he is begging for what it was i had given him. He does the whole flip flopping behavior and it drives me nuts so I let him see what it feels like to have nothing at all. Sometimes I don't even offer him anything til he gets real thirsty and comes up to me and says "milk please" then I know that's what he wants for sure and he's too thirsty to have a tantrum.
My son's a great kid too, they all are, he just loses his temper like I do so I try to control myself so that I set a good example.
2006-09-14 09:18:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give her choices and DON'T give in to crying fits.Then she'll start thinking "if I throw a fit I'll get more attention and I'll get what I want" Just ignore the temper tantrums.If you feed those fits with attention , it'll only get worse
2006-09-14 08:47:05 · answer #10 · answered by j_911_rhoads 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋