How do you tactfully tell a relative that they have let their child get too fat>?

Question

after not seeing this child for 6 months iwas shocked to see he big he had got, he doesn't do much sport and has too much time on computer games and eats badly and has really no bedtime routine whatsoever.

it is my nephew.

you are right unless they join up for that programme "honey we are killing the kids "
I think i will just shut my gob and let them get on with it. I suppose at least he will always have every macdonalds toy going! every cloud!

there is also a family history of diabetes and heart disease!

Answer 1

I would have different places mail her articles with the pitfalls on child obesity. Don't say anything because it could lead to hard feelings, but if she were to start getting her mailbox filled up with newsletters, she may get the hint. Also, talk to the nurse at the child's school, etc.

Answer 2

This is such a tricky one. I have a friend who has a really unhealthy lifestyle and is seriously overweight which is fine because that's her choice. However she has two children and the older one is becoming quite fat and has cellulite. She is 11 years old. I really feel that I should say something as she is making choices for her kids that are ruining their health, but don't know how to go about it. I'll be reading the answers to your question with interest.

Answer 3

I don't know? I tried to tell my sister-in-law that her son was fat. All I said was that he looked like he had gained a lot of weight in the last year. And she said she agreed, but made up some story about how her doctor said he was actually small for his age and that all kids need to gain some fat before hitting their growth spurt. So even if you get up enough courage just to come out and say it, their parents might still be in denial. Good luck!

Answer 4

When you are around try to get the child excited about playing outside. Get them away from the computer. Talk to the child about eating healthy. I have had this discussion with my niece. When she is with me for the weekend once in a while I make sure that she is not just sitting in front of the TV.

Answer 5

Well for starters, why do you think it is your job to say anything?

If you must say something, certainly do not say it to the child! Ask the parents if you can take the child outside for some excersize. IF you do this a couple times a week they will get the idea and the child will benefit without anyone getting their feelings hurt. Good luck,, and if you can,, could you give the child a hug for me! :-)

Answer 6

you should just mention it in passing, 'He has grown alot since i last saw him' or ' Oh my isn't he big boned' or 'What size clothes is he again?' be tack full but honest start by making a passive comment and if it does not start a conversation where you can advise then be more direct. Also the parent might be aware of the situation and need some support in dealing with it, he/she might be waiting on you to break the cycle and give them support.

Answer 7

The question you didn't ask is if it's appropriate for you to get involved. If the child is seriously overweight the parents are probably dealing with it already. There may be medical considerations you know nothing about. Telling the parents how to raise their own childing will only alienate you from the family.

Answer 8

You might not be able to tell them without causing a huge family dispute. If you have kids of your own you might mention how well it works for you to have a set routine and to make them play outside. But no matter how you say it, it might sound offensive. You have to decide if you want to try to intervene or keep the peace.

Answer 9

Just tell them that other kids will make fun of that child if they don't stop letting it eat all the time take this child 2 the doctor

Answer 10

Thats a difficult one. Try to get the relative to cut the portions down without the child knowing. If the child finds out they will get a complex and probably go the other way.